Wednesday, December 24, 2008

The year 2008

It's time for the usual end of year review. 2008 is over and it's not so easy to put into words about how I feel. Somehow it wasn't the worst that could have happened, but I still feel devastated somehow.

It was a year without any big tragedies for me. The last remaining grandparent I had died, but that was the only personal loss and not even something I really felt so sad about because it came as expected. All in all, you could say that I was not haunted by the terrible things others had to go through.

Then there is another aspect of the year that expressed itself in a way that the year went by very quickly. Not quickly as in "wow, how did this year pass so quickly again". Literally instead. There was a couple of months of unemployment here, a couple of weeks there, and once again, and in total I think I spent about 5 months at home due to this. So there was a part of the year that was kind of easy going, nothing special, just me staying at home and trying not to be too negative about not working.

I will just talk things through in order now: In January, the year started just like the year before had ended, with me pickung up the same job at the same company again. It seemed to go on like this until perhaps Easter, but instead, the job ended after, I think, not even 2 weeks. It was not my fault, just the company having financial problems. I also didn't really feel too bad about it because it was just a job and I had other things to take care of. But already at that point, I realised how the stress got to me and I was thankful for every break I could get (which would be the case several times during the year).

The first shock of the year came right then, though, and that was that a school in Singapore that offered a job training closed down the job training. It had been the one option I had decided to go for and put all my hopes into it. It was the first big disappointment that year, and one thing that still makes me angry.... Anger, by the way, could be called the third aspect of this year.

I was stressed, a nervous wreck, and had no idea what to do at that point. It seemed like all my plans just disappeared. So I had to start all over and I felt depressed because I thought it was already too late to apply for ANY job training.

Then came a phase of applications for various job trainings. It was the longest time of unemployment this year, but also a time I enjoyed staying at home because I didn't need any more stress. I was lucky enough to be invited to two interviews, and did an internship in one of them. It went well, but I don't like to look back to this company any more because I kind of lost my face. I made an insecure impression from the beginning and never really got a better reputation than that. But at least they had some sort of family atmosphere.

I could have joined this company though, and I was offered to join, but I made the biggest mistake that year, and one of the biggest in my whole life. Instead of listening to myself (going for the safest option: a company I already had an internship for) I chose to work for the other company I had only visited once. The reason was that many people said it was the better kind of job training: More money, more ambitions, more chances, everything is better. It was not like I did not make a decision myself, but how I made the decision was wrong. I told myself to go against my own principles: "Don't always make safe decisions only. Dare to be brave. Risk something once. Do it for your career. Don't make decisons based on convenience only". But the hesitation within me was not out of laziness or cowardness, it was the lifelong experience I should have listened to.

When I joined the company, I already noticed in the first week that I got myself into something bad. When I worked there, I felt so out of place and clumsy and felt like I was not fitting in there. There was no way for me not to feel embarrassed and insecure once more. I tried to shake of this habit of making an insecure impression, but it was impossible because I had no idea about what I was doing. Then I also got into trouble with one colleague, and in the end I "was left" out of the company because I was never accepted. The situation was really, really bad.

After that came another short period of unemployment, then a job at an agency I am currently still working for, and it's a job I like so far, but I also know I can't stay there because it's not always going to be as easy as it's now. And they also don't have any job trainings to offer to me. It's just not the right thing. But the main problem for me at the moment is that I don't know how to get rid of the things that 2008 brought to me.

When I think about the future, I get this feeling that I will forget 2008 because, though it was full of disappointment and also lots of free time I could enjoy, it was not really significant. I am afraid of 2009. I have always been afraid of it, and maybe it's superstition because 1999 was already bad. I always thought it would either be another best or worst year of my life.

At the moment I face an unclear future, and the worst thing are the bad feelings. On the one hand anger, regret , hate and unforgiveness towards myself and others, on the other hand hopelessness, a lack of ideas and the feeling that my story is written already... a story of someone who isn't able to get anywhere. I can't listen to people saying that nothing is decided. Because a lot of it is decided already. My CV is written to the point where I am now. I am that old, and I've lost that much time. I still have a chance, right. But I don't know as what. And once I lose another year, I lose even more chances. At the moment I am running out of things to do. I don't even know what's right for me.

2008 seems to only be the beginning of something. I must say that it was the first time in several, if not many years that I can not really call it a good year. I think between 2002 and 2007, all the years were at least mixed with lots of good things to look back to. I either completed a school year successfully or had a special time somewhere. But this year I can not really say that it felt that way. I don't even care about the stuff like "I'm wiser now" etc. It doesn't satisfy me. 2008 was not totally bad, the worst is yet to come (I feel/fear), but it made me feel bad towards the end of it.

I feel unbalanced lately, with a tendency of feel furious and sometimes deeply depressed. I feel depressed during Christmas for reasons unrelated to Christmas. I don't feel unhappy because everyone else is happy, I feel unhappy because I am not over 2008... and won't be for a long time.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

A quantum of Bond

Today I found a short article that went like "ex Bond girl murdered". In the end it turned out that it was a woman that played in a Bond movie, yes. But to say that she acted "alongside Roger Moore" is an exaggeration. She is credited as "girls" together with about 20 other actresses who were only "girls" and not even really got any character names in the movie. It's not even so likely that the Bond character had eye contact with her in the movie.

So that's what you call a Bond girl. And it's the same thing as something else I read years ago. It was something about a Bond girl having been a man once in her life. A myth that turned out to be true, but it's not like anyone would think, a Bond girl having been a man having had sex with Bond. No, it's just one of the many girls that pose with Bond, are seen briefly, and that's it. No big deal about it.

The only strange thing is that these stories only happen to Bond movies that Roger Moore played in. What a poor guy.

There's also something about youtube I want to mention... it got worse again. Now they did what I had hoped they would never do. They fucked up their search function. It used to be good the way it was: You enter key words, you get precise results. If you entered very specific key words, you only got results with the key words you used. If you wanted a rather open search, you could still enter less key words, and even flip names around (Bond James for example) and still get satisfying results. There was nothing wrong with it. But now the search function has the same problem that search engines have. They search for everything now. When searching for James Bond (JUST an example) you also get all the James Smiths, James Lasts, John Bond etc. Why? Why can't they leave it the way it was.
Now in order to do search the old way, I first have to select an option. But why do I need to do that? I think that people nowadays are skilled enough with computers, they can do intuitive searching and find what they are looking for. Just give them the right options.

So sad....

PS: There was once a scene in a Bond movie where a mourning widow attacked Bond, and the widow turned out to be a guy in the end. Does that count as a Bond girl too?

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Surgeons transplant a piece of dog shit into a journalist's head and throw the brain away

The following article is from

Surgeons engraft an entire face

Micro surgeons in the USA have, for the first time in the world's history, transplanted an almost entire face [...] 80 per cent of the face was replaced [...]not included were only the forehead, the eyelids, the lower lip and the chin.

You are now wondering what's so wrong. I know what you are thinking, and you are right: I am complaining about the fact that the headline says "entire face" and in the end it's only one of the stupid ways to seduce a reader into reading more. In the end, it's only "almost" an entire face. When you think of a face and substract all the things mentioned above, what you have is by far not a real face, it's more like a ghost/alien face.

But it's more than that.... and you want to know why? Well, I will try to explain what I hate about this sort of thing... and it not only goes for surgery, it goes for global warming and lots of other things. Maybe you will understand when I use this example (fictional):

January 5 2010: Surgeons transplant a whole face! [...] the only facial features not transplanted were forehead, eyelids and chin.

May 22 2012: Surgeons transplant an entire face! [...] the only parts that were not transplanted were: forehead and chin. It was the first time that a face was transplanted like this!

December 5 2015: Almost dead person receives a brand new face! [...] The face was complete. Only the chin was not included in the package.

June 30 2020: Big sensation: Patient receives an entire face from a dead person! It was the first time that a complete face with all facial features was moved from one body to another. It has never happened before in the history of the world!

This is how it goes... and when I mentioned global warming, it's the same thing: Scientists have found out that global warming is caused by humans... they are 60 per cent sure. Now they are 64 per cent sure. Now they are 68 per cent sure. Now they have new evidence, and now more, and more again, and yet again, and now they are totally sure, and now suddenly it's not the humans' fault, and now it is again, and of course it's the first time in history! Wow!

I'm going to write another entry soon, this time about science myths. I'm fed up with these things so I have to let them out.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

No, not this...

Oh no... please no. Youtube did it. The same thing that Myspace did. This stupid "do you want to change the language" thing. When Myspace did it, it never stopped, it was as if everytime I went to Myspace, they asked me if I wanted to change the language from English to German. Why do they do that? It's okay once, but they do it all the time. Why? And now Youtube does it too.

So as you can see here, I'm about to watch a video. It has already been fully loaded, I just pressed "pause" because I can't stand this whole watching-waiting-watching-waiting routine. But I have this unsatisfying thing at the top of the page, I don't need this, it's already a long enough way from the comments up to the top where I can access my account, for example. So I press "abort" because I really don't need Youtube to be German, I got used to the way it is and don't want to get used to strange translations of well-known terms.

What? Why is the video loading again? It reloaded the whole page? Why? Why couldn't they make it like the "more info" button on the side of the video, where it just pops up and out when you wanna read more? Why does it mess with me here? Argh... and it always keeps happening, I don't want it in German, leave me alone!

It's the same thing like this annoying paper clip from Word:
"It looks like you are trying to write a letter. Can I help you?"
"No, thanks"
"It looks like you are trying to write a letter. Can I help you?"
"No, I didn't change my mind"
"It looks like you are trying to write a letter. Can I help you?"
"FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!"

Why do good things always have to change? Just like the websites that eventually get crowded with advertisements. Sometimes it's so bugged that the advertisements can't be clicked away so you can't even watch the video any more. Not on youtube, but elsewhere... well, until youtube does it too. They already use a lot of advertising.

Look at another mistake I found:

Don't mind that you can't read it, you don't know what it says anyway. It says: "as one of the most famous stars, Freddy Mercury 19 died of AIDS". Freddy Mercury 19? Is he a comet?


Enough for today. Maybe I will post something else soon.

Friday, November 07, 2008

Batman, Sex, Breasts and Ohhhhh God!!!!!!!

1. A Turkish city is trying to go to court against Batman. The reason? The city is called "Batman" and they claim that the name of the super hero was stolen from them. How pathetic. Batman is even an English word with its own meaning. Just a publicity thing, no meaning behind it. I once even knew a Turkish guy with a LAST NAME Batman! What is he going to do? I hope not the same as Bully and all these other idiots.

2.There was an article about Lewis Hamilton's team, McLaren. The article said that McLaren had been waiting for a title since 1998. WRONG! Very WRONG! I don't understand what they are saying. There are two titles in Formula 1. The constructor's championship and the driver's championship.

This year, McLaren only won the driver's championship (Hamilton's title). In 1998 AND 1999, Mclaren also won that title with Mika Hakkinen.

In 1998, they won the constructor's title also. But they didn't win it the year after. Just like they didn't win it in 2008.

Therefore: If you write about McLaren having waited since 1998, it makes no sense. Because you either say they ARE still waiting (because they have not won the constructor's title since 1999 until today!) or you say: They have been waiting since 1999. Because that was their last Driver's title. But you can't mix apples and oranges by saying "they had not won a constructor's championship since 1998, but now thankfully they won the DRIVER's championship this year". That's like forgetting about the title in 1999. Most illogical. And it shows again that the knowledge of a Formula 1 fan is worth more than the knowledge of someone who gets paid for knowing this. What an unfair world. If I was a marketing fan or a businessman fan (if that ever exists), would it be normal if I knew more than the people in the marketing and the stock market? No, makes no sense at all, bullshit!

3. Wow... should I skip this? Yes, I think none of my readers knows what an advent calendar is. No, I will write it here:

Okay, an advent calendar is a sort of calendar you put on a wall, like an ordinary calendar. And for every day between the 1st of December and Christmas, there is a small "door" that you can open with chocolate in it. There are different types of calendars, mostly they show a picture of a Christmas scenery full of people ice skating, going to the markets, celebrating, drinking whine, etc. And in this particular calendar here, there was a BIG scandal because it showed a mass murderer. I don't see what's so shocking about it though because this guy killed people 90 years ago! 90! I think everyone who was alive back then is dead now, and also everyone who was ever a victim's child. How can you call that shocking? Or a scandal. Bullshit again.

4. Now maybe to the worst. There is a new phenomenon with online articles. They have been using phrases like "Shock" or "Terrible" but now they are going one step further by putting stuff on the screen like "Oh God!". And I think that's very distasteful.
They have even opened a series, it seems. First there was this "Oh God! Sex can make you feel depressed" and now there is "Oh God! Coffee lets breasts shrink".

The "Oh God!" series starts off as "assholy" as it could. It says in the headline that it can cause depression. But only when you already enter the article in shock and terrible fear of never being happy again, you realise that only CYBER sex can cause depression. Whatever cyber sex is defined as, I already don't care while realising that the whole article was only supposed to get my attention.

By the way. just below the headline it says "the whole truth". That's either a lie because the above statement is wrong, or it's like "you know what, what we just said is bullshit, just read on and see what we are really trying to say".

A little different is the next "Oh God!" article, because at least it doesn't promise more than it keeps.

The headline says what the article follows. And now all the girls reading this (but it won't be many) will probably have their alarm bells ringing like crazy. Three cups of coffee a day can cause the breasts to grow smaller. Yeah. Big shock. I now know why I have never drunk even one cup of coffee in my life. Because:

-if female breasts + coffee = smaller breasts

then similar stuff will happen to guys. Because males also have sexual organs, they are just a little different, but the same rules apply to them. The only thing about this is that scientists first have to prove the obvious before we all know it.

By the way, notice how every article about breasts, no matter if it's medical or just for shock, always uses naked breasts to support the views and clicks? Sooner or later I will surely be able to show you an article about breast cancer, and they will joyfully use inappropriate pictures there to exploit the serious topic.

I already hate the "Oh God!" series. But they are not going to stop until they have found something new. Maybe in 5 years, it will be the "Shit your pants!" phrase instead.

Sunday, November 02, 2008

Tired mind, unused body

What a day. Many things happened although or because I spend most of the time at the computer, hours and hours of it. I almost cried once, felt angry, felt discouraged, felt helpless, and now I feel tired. And everything is connected. Whatever you want to be towards a person, it has to stay in balance and go back and forth between them. If it's missing on one side, how can it come from the other side?

First I want to purge my soul with the usual rant about stuff in the media. I once mentioned this Bully guy, the comedian who went to court because a computer game carries the same name that he uses for himself. Yesterday I read he lost, which is what I expected and hoped for. Was there nobody of his rich friends who saw that coming? Well, I'm not going to to to court against all the love song writers even if I call myself Mr. Love.

There was a news article about Kim Jong Il. First it made a very neutral impression, they're wondering what's up with him. Some pictures showed him obviously watching a football match, but there seem to be no pictures with him AND the match in one picture, so people suspect the pictures are old ones. Some hours later, the headline suddenly says "new pictures: is Kim Jong Il dead?". A more drastic headline, but the article is still the same. "Dead" is a good word. If only there were rumours about him having cut off his head, that would be much better for them.

Before the last Formula 1 race of the season, they showed some clips on tv about other events when the last race of the season brought the decision. And there was once when the guy on tv said "Fuji, Japan". That made my blood boil because it was not Fuji in 1990, it was Suzuka. Dammit! Yes, they were right about Fuji 1976, and they even got it that it was Adelaide in 1994 and not Melbourne, but why this silly mistake? Fuji was in the calendar in 1976 and 1977, but after that no more until 2007. It has been only two seasons with Fuji being back, and they already can't remember Suzuka any more?
Why do these people get a job that broadcasts Formula 1? I was 7 years old when the incident at Suzuka was, and even I know that it was there. I didn't even watch the races back then. Why do I know more than these people? Does it mean I am also allowed to know less about my job? I don't think so.
There is also no excuse, even if the mistake is small. RTL has been televising F1 since at least 1992, that's the earliest cassette I have seen. They have to know their facts. But hardly one race passes where I don't get angry at someone's unqualified comments. And I also see things on the tv screen a lot earlier than they realise it in their seats.

So Hamilton is world champion unless he gets disqualified in the next couple of minutes. You never know. The big loser this year was the FIA with its decisions to penalize everyone for every mistake. In 1989, 1990 and 1994, the world championships were decided by accidents. Nowadays, if that happens the driver who is responsible will be disqualified and lose all points of the season, as happened in 1997. But what I don't like is where they draw the line. Every contact that leads to a spin is already worth an investigation. And I can tell you, in the 90s there were no display flashes saying "incident involving car x is being investigated". It's a shame.
Apart from that, it was quite a nice season. I still fell asleep during some races, but some others were great. The new race tracks were all great, and the final lap of the final race decided who won. It was good. Now I have to wait until March, I guess, before I see another race. I wonder what else I will know then that I don't know now.

I don't know what else to say now. I don't feel very confident about going to work tomorrow although I said to myself on Friday that it might be the best job I had so far. I just don't have so much confidence at the moment. I wish I could have some days off again and just retreat from everything... and with everything, I probably mean how it feels at the moment.

Friday, October 31, 2008

When scientists start thinking...

Melting polar caps: Man is convictable

A study provides new evidence that only man can be responsible for the rising temperature.

Hey, that sounds good. So finally scientists can PROVE that it is caused by humans, and not only claim it as before?

"The rise of temperature in the arctic and antarctic in the last few decades COULD directly be linked with human activities..."

Oh, guess not. Just the 10000000000000000000000th attempt to draw our attention to the subject of climatic change, and the 10000000000000000000000000000000000000th scientist who claims to PROVE that it's true. There is one thing I don't get: Scientists always insist that something is not true until you can prove it. That's why many of them laugh at religion. But why is it that there is so much about "facts" and "proof" when it comes to global warming if there is yet no actual evidence that the USA would acknowledge?

I once learned at school that 25% of the world's energy is consumed by the USA, while they only have a very small percentage of the world's population. So I guess it would help a lot if they changed something. But to my astonishment, they are the ones who ignore it the most. And that not only goes for their presidents, it also goes for the public. While it is commonly accepted here that global warming is man-made, the American media still argue about this a lot and even do satire shows about paranoid scientists who think they know what global warming comes from. Then they use arguments like "in [place in America] it's the coldest winter since 1855, so you're telling me we have global warming?". So yeah, you can tell nobody there is impressed.

If only this whole "proof" thing would stop. You know, I never hear anything new. It never progresses. Everytime there is something about global warming, it's this "now we have proof" thing. It always deals with KNOWING that it's caused by man. But while we can accept that it probably IS caused by us, we are still waiting for people to deliver rock-solid proof. Proof. Not assumptions. Because we need this before it's too late. And even then these guys will doubt it over there.

The media are going to keep milking this cow until nobody cares. And eventually, when one scientist is able to prove that global warming is caused by humans, it's either so damn obvious that it doesn't matter any more, or nobody will care because until then there will be more dramatic news about "hey, we got proof. You know, it COULD be caused by humans, we have just concluded that in our endless wisdom".

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The worst rip-off I have ever seen

RTL is probably the one tv station that is unbearable at the moment. I have already mentioned to you RTLnow, the stupid internet service that allows you to watch the tv content for money in case you don't have the time to watch tv but enough money to watch anything anytime.

There was another commercial on tv about it now, and it is worse than ever. The new punchline goes like "click on it, choose it, watch it" and conveys the idea that it's just as easy as it sounds. It welcomes and invites you to take it literally. Just click yourself there, choose your show, watch it. The video will pop up.
I checked again in case I mistook it, but it's still the same. You need an account, you need to pay for it, you need to be registered. Does any of this spell "spontaneous" on it? I don't see that.

But there was something yesterday that was worse. While watching House M.D. (medical detective or whatever you English speakers need that for), there was a commercial for a tv episode of a show that has been on for 12 years. It's some kind of highway police, a German show. It's the most stereotype action show for German beer drinkers with no intellect. In every episode, cars explode in the most unrealistic way, and the only thing that changes is the angle in which the cars fly, the objects they fly over and some totally highway-unrelated topic like kindergarten kidnapping.
But this time, they showed a plot that gave me a dejavu feeling. It goes like this: There is a cop who wakes up in the dark, he lights up his sight with a lighter, then he realises he is in some kind of box or coffin. And then he screams and feels lost, and on top of all, his very own colleague can see him on a screen and wants to find him of course. Where have we seen ALL of this before? CSI.

I mean, it's not like this "woman gets kidnapped and guy has to rescue her" thing. Or this "scientist travels into a different world/time by accident" or "girl wakes up in the body of her mother/her 30 year old self". No... you can't just counterfeit everything. That's like me making a movie about a guy who travels from one country to the next, but while he is on the plane, there is a revolution in his country and he loses his nationality, therefore has to stay within the airport. Then he meets this woman and... oh well, I call this movie: "I wait". Great thing, huh?

Well, just now I went to to complain about the RTLnow thing. That was something I have been wanting to do ever since I got fooled. But the funny thing is, it's totally hard to contact them. I tried going to "contact". It first promises you that you can give RTL your ideas and questions, but in the end they say "fuck you" by only connecting you to a FAQ (=fuck) section. After that, I have to click myself around the world only to send a message to some question service that's not even related to the sort of question I have. But then I don't care because if their internet service is so bad, then the people who answer questions about the weather service have to deal with my critisism. Then it's not my fault. Now I hope they got it because after I clicked "send" I only saw a white screen with the words "close window". Is that a good sign at all?

Anyway, it's interesting how they don't seem to care. Maybe they know it's just for fooling people. It's like some of the governments in this world. Pretend to be good, act like you encourage people to lead a luxorious life, but just keep lying and also don't offer any platform to discuss it.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

We have heard it before

Two headlines that I have read or heard of before in almost the same way:

1. Dog saves family from fire
2. Financial expert (or anyone else) compares bank managers (or anyone else) with Jews (other minorities; Hitler, other dictators)

The first one was what I saw on the news. Actually, what was presented as yet another heroic story of a dog barking a family awake that was almost getting too warm in the fire at night turned out to be quite lame. The family had two dogs. One dog ran out of the house with the family that woke up by themselves (probably because of something that went like "honey, isn't it totally warm in here?") while the other dog refused to leave the house because some little kitten were still in there and the dog didn't want to leave them alone. All were rescued in the end. But I don't see what's so heroic about them. Sure, it's unusual, but it's still natural because also a mother would rather die with her baby in the flames than save herself for her husband, even if the situation is hopeless.

Well, I have nothing against the dog's fame, it's just that this story isn't new. The better version of the story is that the dog wakes up the family (and just let me ask you, why is it that family always need a dog to save them? Are they too drunk to wake up? Okay, I know, the smoke). It is this specific story that has taken place in several countries, and the news never fail to let us know about each of them.

The second story... ugh... don't get me started. It's always the same, especially in my country with its history. There are things you just CAN'T say. The most dangerous thing to say in front of a CAMERA is to say:"Haven't we had that before, about 60 years ago?". That's a reference to our Nazi time and usually means that someone shows the same behaviour as Hitler. Most famously, someone once compared George W. Bush and Hitler that way. Even though you might agree with this, the person who said this had to give up her position in our government.
It goes like this all the time, and I wonder how people can become politicians, financial experts or other types of "never have to work again after this" and still make the same stupid mistakes. You might as well erase "Jews" or "Hitler" from your vocabulary because as soon as you make comparisons, someone feels terribly pissed. It also goes internationally, someone makes a stupid drawing of a religious leader, and suddenly all the followers go crazy, even if they usually only look down ashamed and don't say a word when someone blows himself up on their behalf.

What do we learn: Just don't do it. No... don't. No... not even for fun. Just don't do it.

I could now compare the dog to Hitler, because they have things in common, or I could compare Hitler to Franklin D. Roosevelt, saying they have in common the exact same years of being in power and the same year of death, but that is the kind of stuff that doesn't come across the right way in public. See, you have to be careful.

I want to rant about some other things. Why do some things only get worse when they were so good? For example, the search function to youtube. When it was still the old way, you could type exactly what you were looking for, and whatever keywords in whichever order you used, you only got what you were looking for. Now they show everything, even things that are unrelated. If I look for some band starting with "the", I get all the thes. Uh... yeah.
On wikipedia, one of my favourite sites, it is the opposite. It is bad and stays bad. You misspell a name, you try right again because it gives you no correction clue. So if you don't know how to spell a name, and you misspell it without knowing better, it never helps you out, it's like you searched for something that exists by no means. What if I can't spell a name but I know how the name sounds? Can't there be some "did you mean this..." as in youtube?

Another thing got worse at t-online and it has to do with opening different windows. The old way it went like this: I see a headline, I right click on it and open a new window or tab. If I find another interesting thing I want to read, I directly click on it because I still have the first window (the one that I have been looking at from the beginning). So I had two windows with different articles. But now, when I left click the second article, it changes the OTHER window and skips the article I actually wanted to read first. So that one gets lost and I have to click "back" on that window, and I have to open yet another window for another article. Why? Why do you have to change what was good?
And just now I found another flaw. My cursor was strangely disappearing, kind of flashing. I thought it was a virus. But it's only one of these flash games (hence the name "flash", I guess) that pop up at the side of a page. Irritating and annoying.

I wonder what else I can talk about. But I think there will be more in the next days and weeks, because I have a new job and it deals with a lot of bureaucracy... I can tell you, working for a business that's run by the state means pure bureaucracy. Oh how I hate that stuff. I hope my tasks are at least okay.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Lawsuit against God - Again?

Booooring. Another American idiot went to court against God. I've heard this story before. Last time the reason why the claim was rejected was because "God is not a natural person". This time it's the fact that God has no address. But the person who went to court said that God, who is omnipresent, will have noticed what happened.

Why do we even have to hear about this? It's a lame joke. The only interesting thing is why such a mindless lawsuit gets rejected. Maybe next time the court will claim that you cannot go against someone who does not necessarily exist.

The reasons are also rather stupid: Accusations for bad things that happened, personal problems with God, or the fact that he threatened people with terror and admittedly killed people. What is the use of going to court against Him then? That's like ants going to ant court against the human baby that sat down on their formicary.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Some people have worse lives, even if they are richer

The MSN page today had one headline that said:

Radcliffe is mourning
"Harry Potter" has lost a beloved person

So who is it? Ugh... it's his grandmother. So if the German word for grandma is "Oma" and that is also what they use in the article, wouldn't it have been convenient just to say WHO he lost in the headline? Why are the news becoming a quiz game? ->because nobody would have read the article otherwise.

Another piece of news I read yesterday was that a millionaire in the USA, don't know where exactly, killed his whole family of 5 people, and himself, all because of the financial drama at the moment. He was said to have lost all his money on the stock market.
I don't get this. He is/was a millionaire, so how does he lose all his money in a short time? If he is a millionaire, I assume he must have been a very clever, smart, intelligent guy. Perhaps more intelligent than me, because I'm not a millionaire and probably never will be one. But then I ask: If someone is so clever, why does he not just put aside one million? You can live a good life with one million dollars, right? The word "millionaire" already implies that the person has at least one million. If he has one million, can't he just put it on his bank account and leave it there? He probably had several millions, so he could have used them after all. Why do people always need more, more, more? Such an idiot. Sorry, this is just so stupid. I know it's a process over time, you need to re-invest money you earned, but you can also draw the line. Then you can be sure never to have to worry about money, or working again.

It's amazing how people who have better lives than I do can still become so miserable in the end. You know, I told my brother that what this guy did would be the same as me saving 10 000 euros, then going to the casino and saying: I will play roulette now, I will put all my money on "zero", and if it's anything but that, I will kill myself.

Thursday, October 02, 2008


I have a strange kind of paranoia that I don't take seriously, it's more like a joke, but I tend to accept it as a part of me to the point where I start to doubt I am making this up.

Many of you know the Truman Show, a Jim Carrey movie. It's basically the same thing that's going on with me. Even when I was a small child, I once had this idea that there were invisible cameras around me watching me. Yes, it actually happened to me before this movie was made.

The reason why I often thought everything is made up was because my life was always different from the lives of others. Other people always had standard lives. I know there is no "normal" life, but there are ordinary lives and extraordinary lives. Mine is most extraordinary.

It's like everything around me consists of actors who imitate a normal world. When they pass me, it looks like everything is normal. It's supposed to look normal. But sometimes people stare at me as if they are thinking:"Look at me! I want you to see my face! It's my once in a lifetime chance to be part of this show! OMG! He has seen me!"

The way everyday life is unusual is also how I run into people when I deliberately try not to. The staircase is always silent, but as soon as I open the door ONCE, someone else has to open their door. I step out of the house, suddenly everyone has the same idea. I walk into the most forsaken forest, and suddenly everyone is out to walk past me. Whether it's morning, evening, night. But after all I still know: If I ever break my leg in the middle of the forest, I'm going to crawl all the way back to my house before anyone calls the ambulance.

Then there is how my life develops. It's very unusual, just like you would imagine the life of someone who is followed by cameras but doesn't know. Imagine you are on tv and everyone is watching you, but you have no clue. What would the producers want? I guess an extraordinary life. So while other people get born, graduate from school without ever repeating more than one year, and getting a boring job and a boring family, my life is totally different. And like I said, it is very different.

Who would guess that all these things would happen to one person: Troubled childhood, goes through 9th grade three times (!), suffers from depression to the degree where he gets locked up like in prison, records his own music in a music studio, meets his idol in a cafe after talking to her online (which, at that point, she is infamous for not doing at all), falling in love with someone from the internet who is strangely connected to the whole story about the idol, unexplicable incidents happen that can not be explained with logic, and then the same person also fails and fails at finding the right job training year after year.

Okay, at first it sounds like a bunch of strange coincidences. I mean, I might have had a plane accident too, right? Yeah, I know what you mean. But I can't go so much into detail about everything, just trust me that some things just can't be coincidence.

So I decided to just write down all the things that are going to happen to me. You can see it as a humerous thing, or you can see it as me trying to spoil the producers' plans. At least I would then know that I was right and the whole pathetic theatre could stop:

Age 26: Fails again to be accepted in a job training OR gives up on another job training.

Age 27: Tries to get married but the authorities make it impossible after the laws have JUST been changed to the subject's disadvantage (what a coincidence).

Age 28: Suddenly seems to have found a great job training. But subsequently, the company dies and the job training cannot be finished. It would have been the perfect company, he already felt so unbelievably satisfied in this job.

Age 29: Starts studying since he is too old to be accepted for any further job training.

Age 35: Finally is able to get married and does so. Dreams seem to come true. Finally there is mercy in this world. The celebrations are private but joy is everywhere. After that, it's still a struggle with lots of work in a demanding job that doesn't make him happy.

Age 36: The economy is going down, which is a good excuse for getting fired from a good job he just had for a month. A hard time begins. At the same time, a baby is on the way, so the pressure is immense.

Age 37: Subject decides to send demo CDs of his own music to record companies. And oh, what a miracle, he gets accepted and becomes famous, although not so rich. The baby is born, it's a daughter.

Age 38: The wife dies in a tragic way, no idea how, but it has to happen, right?

Age 39: After having lost so much (and he also lost money and fame because of the economy collapse and private problems), he fights back, becoming a sportsman who eventually wins prizes. He releases a book on how to overcome so many struggles in life while being a single father.

Age 40: As an experienced musician, he fulfills his dream of taking part in the amazing process of creating a new music instrument, a synthesizer that doesn't have ordinary keys and is very revolutionary. He wants to use this to put his crazy feelings into music, but is too busy taking care of his daughter and trying to raise money with his bad qualification.

Age 41-45: Leads a normal life again, not being able to be very happy. Lots of stupid things happen. In this period of time, he suffers from lung cancer due to passive smoking (yeah, you bastards!), and has to fight back yet again. It just goes up and down, but he eventually defeats cancer.

Age 46-50: He is back to writing music again, and some people are even interested in his new, mature music, but in a bad car accident, he loses his memory and has to start over. Only after many months he is able to recall all the good and bad moments, which causes heavy emotions in him.

Age 51: He overcomes his fear of cars and drives again. At least, he thinks, he was lucky enough to only lose his memory and not to be severely injured. He tells everyone that THIS is what gives him a good feeling.

Age 52-53: Another bad accident, but this time he also suffers complicated bone fractures. He recovers quickly, but it takes a long time until the pain in under control. He feels very paranoid, but not paranoid enough to hide from everyone that he feels lucky not to have killed anyone in the accident.

Age 54: Having decided not to drive a car anytime soon, he gets involved in yet another car accident, this time as a passenger. As the driver falls asleep, he tries to steer the car to prevent a collision with another car, but tragically steers the car into a pedestrian who dies. He is totally nerve-wrecked after this and feels absolutely paranoid. After this, he has to admit himself to a mental institution for several months.

Age 55: His daughter runs away and becomes a drug addict. She blames him for causing all of her problems, also claiming that it's not possible to have an undepressed child if the father was already so depressed. She is also angry that he had a new girlfriend in between. What she does not know is that he eventually gave up the relationship because he realised he could never get married again happily. There is only one wife for him.

Age 56: A war breaks out, and the subject has to go to war against a far away country. While he is away, his home land gets attacked by another country and his daughter is abducted (she wants to leave the series).

Age 59: He returns after several years of prison. He accepts a crappy job and decides not to try hard on anything any more since everything is so useless.

Age 60: Since he does not get influenced by all the ups and downs around him, the producers decide to reveal the big secret to him that his whole life was just a show. While breaking down in tears, he has a heart attack and dies. What a dramatic ending! Fantastic!

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Almost beheaded, but at least killed

On there was a headline that said "teenager almost decapitates woman". At first you think of an accident that no one was injured in.

The article itself then starts off with the headline "16 year old kills woman for 6 dollars". Shouldn't that have been the headline? Or what about "teenager kills for a fistful of dollars", that would have been a nice movie reference, right? At least that's a very sensational headline that may at least get a lot of views.

Instead they chose the headline I mentioned at the beginning. Why is it not enough to say right from the beginning that a teenager killed a woman? Why do they have to mention the goriest fact first before they bring up her death? Because it's not enough that a teenager killed a woman for money. That is something nobody cares to read any more. It's better to say how badly she was injured before you even say what exactly the result was - that it was fatal.

Headlines have to be short. And in the future, it will probably have to sound worse and worse. They will not talk about the number of deaths in a massacre, because that will wear off. Since September 11th it can't be topped anyway. So you just mention the number of limbs flying through the air, the amount of blood that's everywhere, and the immense torture that people go through. Only later you reveal what actually happened.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Who is this driver?

A so called live ticker where people can follow the events of a formula 1 race while it's running:

Nico Rosberg is in first position at the moment, Drive-Through is second, Giancarlo Fisichella is... wait... who the fuck is Drive-Through?

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Sensational! A 15 kilo baby! Yeah...

Awww... look at that. A cute little baby sticking it's tongue out. Isn't that what makes all of us smile and forget our worries just for a moment? How cute. Let's see what a heartwarming baby story is written below it.

In Bangladesh, a baby weighing 15.2 kg was born and died shortly after birth. "The child hardly had any chance of survival. It's sexual organs were not correctly developed. It had the length of a normal child but chest, abdomen and limbs were very large", said Dr. Pabitra Kumar Kunda in Dhaka on Friday. Thousands of village people [...] went to see the dead baby. The hospital personell eventually had to hide the dead body.

What??? Is this picture even the right one to put up along such a story then? Well, I should have guessed that journalists also have an amputated sense of morality and respect for the dead. Why they put such a picture there is beyond my understanding. Usually you either put an actual picture of the place or persons involved above the article (for example the particular baby, the parents, or the doctor) or you choose a related picture, like any baby picture or a picture of a hospital floor. They chose a picture of a random baby. But instead of choosing something more appropriate that prepares the reader, they just use a sweet happy face because I guess that's what some people just HAVE to share with the world. Maybe it was a woman who was so heartbroken by this cute picture. Wouldn't a crying baby have been a better choice? At least it sets the mood. The picture you see above gives us the impression that the baby was okay and that it was going to say something like:"Hehe, look, I'm a very cheeky one. I gave my mother a lot of trouble getting her out of me. Yeah, I'm a little overweight, but I'm alright".

Disgusting... but obviously okay. This has seen the light of day, so someone must have approved of it.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Being stupid is okay, you just need the right job

Sorry to bring this topic up again, but it just makes me angry. This picture shows the two killers who caused trouble in Finland. One of them caused a massacre in 2007, the other one was the one I mentioned in my last post. There is also a text below the picture indicating who is who. Or at least trying to! But it was not possible for the author of those words to do that right.

This guy mixed them up. He wants to indicate that who is right (r.) is the guy who did the most recent massacre. But that is the other guy who got himself killed in 2007. I know that because there is again a wikipedia page that gets it all correctly and does it well. And wikipedia is run by everyone, no agency or people who get paid for gathering information.

Why does this upset me? Because left and right should not be a problem for someone who gets paid for making news articles and associating pictures with them. Why am I struggling so damn hard in my job, but other people get away with everything? Why is it not necessary to tell left from right? Why is inattention so damn okay in every other job except mine?

Another conclusion: Intelligence or good character traits don't matter. It only matters that you have a certificate proving that you sat your ass sore in a university. The only thing important is that you went to some place to study for 5 years. The number of years matters and the fact that you learned stuff you forget later. It's pointless of me to claim that I could do a better job even without all the studying. But that's not what matters. What matters is that you fulfill the criteria set up by "the others"... the state, the society, the business world. It is like that and it will always be like that. And I'm not saying that because of left and right, I'm saying that because of all the things I write here month after month, and because of what I go through in MY job. I certainly cannot afford to mix up left and right. If I do that, I will be called an idiot, I will cause costs, and I will not get away with it, even as an apprentice!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

This is Finnish... but not the end

Sometimes even school massacres have something amusing about them. Okay, what happened today in Finland was not funny, but it caused my favourite site to cause another funny mistake. It's especially funny because I could not possibly have known it was a mistake, but somehow figured it out.
Here is the story: A 22 year old guy went amok and killed 9 people (death toll might be increasing), then shot himself and got severely injured. In this t-online news report, he is called "Herra S." by the author.

So far, so bad. I was interested to know more, so I checked the english Wikipedia page, where an article about the massacre had already been put up. Strangely, the name of the murderer was completely different there. He was called "Matti Juhani Saari". Okay, the "S." is correct then, because his last name starts with an "S". But what about the rest? Well, I checked again because I thought that probably "Herra" would be the wrong first name because the other name sounded like a complete Finnish name. And I already had a suspicion that became true. Take a look what "Herra" really means. One tip: There is a German word that sounds not too different.

Wow. So yeah... who do you think ever calls their son "Mister" as a first name? I can't imagine that's common, even in such a strange country. You know, I think the story went like this:

T-online reporter (now called T) and Finnish policeman (P) have a conversation:

T: Hello, do you speak English?


T:Who was the name of the killer?

P (feeling confused, turning around to a colleague): Um... question? Not understand.

T:The name... killer... shoot shoot. Name. How called?

P: His name... we not tell, just say Herra S. is privacy... understand?

T: Yay! I have to write an article totally quickly anyway, gotta go, must write quickly and I make so many spelling mistakes anyway. Thanks.

P: What... ever....

EDIT: The number of victims has increased to 10, the killer has died and has changed its version to the more common one that had been on wikipedia before. But the mistakes never end: The news channel of my Nintendo Wii says the killer was 20 years old, as opposed to all other sources who say he was 22 years old. I guess journalism is a very difficult job. At least it's allowed to make mistakes because nobody cares except for nerds like me.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Amusingly illogical

When I made Pizza today, the radio was on and there was a song that gave me the inspiration for this blog entry. The message of this song was asking for forgiveness. But it was not direct asking, it was this indirect asking:"Can you tell her I'm sorry?"

Or there is a song on the radio where the singer always sings:"If you see this girl, can you tell her where I am?"

Oh yeah... how often have we heard that. Um... NEVER?! Come on! In my everyday life, I always have to hear how everything is MY responsibility, MY problems, MY stuff to deal with. I can't just say "can you take care of this for me?". And seriously, I'd understand if people sang about getting their tax computation done by someone else, or maybe they would sing about someone helping them out in general. But who in the world decided to give a song a chance that basically said: I'm too cowardish to apologize for something I did to my girlfriend. Can you please apologize to her on my behalf?

I can't get over it. If there were only great songs out there, either with fantastic melodies and/or amazing poetry, I would accept that without jealousy. But whenever I hear shit like that on the radio, I wonder why I can't just have that songwriter job. Sorry, it's true. Who do you even address with this kind of shit? Who would ever get so involved in a relationship that this person would apologize for something you did? The parents? The person who one person cheated the other with? The divorce lawyer?

There was another interesting thing today. My favourite shit site again, it was. It was about a goalkeeper who didn't really have a great day in a 2:5 defeat. The whole text contained the word "fact" three times, once it was even not capitalised, which is wrong in our language. How uninspired must the author have been. It was like every other sentences was like "... [person] pointed out the fact that..." or "[person] was not happy about this fact". It's like everything is a fact. What has become of "circumstance", "situation" or simply "that"?

I wrote a comment then, because luckily there is a comment function below some articles. I pointed out the mistakes and then wrote just a little bit about the goalkeeper as an alibi. Some hours later the part about the mistakes were erased and only the sentence about the guy was left. Interesting. And they indeed changed their article a little! Success! Finally I achieved something. But that was not the first time. I even once corrected a spelling mistake that was on TV! Yes! My greatest triumph. I remember that a day after I pointed something out, they changed their spelling, even if it may have been only temporarily. Well, at least someone takes care of it. If I don't do it, then nobody does.

Now you may ask: Why is this guy so geeky about spelling? I will tell you. I learnt this shit and it got marked and graded at school. I don't allow things to change so quickly. It is happening around me all the time. If I leave school, suddenly the school system gets better. If I'm old enough to sit at the front seat of a car, they suddenly change the laws so that my brother who is 5 years younger can also sit at the front. I die, suddenly painless tooth surgery becomes a standard procedure.
I will not let things go on like that! They put me through all the shit, so we are not going to abolish any of it! Just because I'm older now doesn't mean that other people can act like children, can have sex with windows wide open, become careless about spelling and get any job that I would get and could perform a lot better with half the salary. I'm going to fight until I get too tired....*sighs*

Oh wait! One more thing... I'm not a native speaker so I may be wrong, but shouldn't it say "noticeably more comfort" instead of "noticeable more comfort"? Because there is more comfort in a noticeable way?
It is one slogan of a safety shoe company I read not long ago. And it made me wonder if I could have that slogan writer's job... I just really don't know why...

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Only possible in the age of automated messages

Dear Customer!
Customers who ordered or rated 6 Steps to Songwriting Success: The Comprehensive Guide to Writing and Marketing Hit Songs by Jason Blume or other books in the cathegory Theory, Composition & Performance > Songwriting also ordered 6 Steps to Songwriting Success: The Comprehensive Guide to Writing and Marketing Hit Songs by Jason Blume. Therefore you are certainly pleased to know that 6 Steps to Songwriting Success: The Comprehensive Guide to Writing and Marketing Hit Songs will be released in November 2008. Order now!

Does this need any explanation?

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

RTLnow sucks!

RTL is a German television station. One of their advertisements went like this:

That is Max. Max has just missed his favourite tv show. NO PROBLEM NOW! BECAUSE NOW, THERE IS RTLNOW! WATCH YOUR FAVOURITE TV SHOWS ON THE INTERNET! (and so on)

Okay, sounds good so far. I mean, that's not the first time I hear about stuff on tv being shown on the internet, too. You can even watch Formula One live on the internet, that's RTL's new service since a while ago. So it's available on tv and internet at the same time, no strings attached. You decide.

So... you might be thinking that RTLnow is the next step, because now you can even skip anything on tv and watch it later, at your own convenience. Needless to say, I will not wait too long because my episode might already be replaced by the one after that. So okay, what do you think I discovered when I checked out this site?

Well... it was shit. First of all, I purposely missed one brand new episode of Dr. House, and that -is- my "favourite tv show". So yeah, I thought: I will just go to this site and watch it there. But no! Not only is House not available on this site (so much about "your favourite tv show"), but you also have to
for the shit!

What is that? Let me get it straight for you: You can watch F1 live, you get it for free, you can turn off the tv, they don't care, they don't even care that the viewing rate on tv gets low because obviously, just like tv itself, they get clicks or "internet viewing rate" or something like that. I think you know what I mean. So to sum it up: They allow you to watch a great sports event that only comes every couple of weeks. They allow that. Live. No paying, you can just do it for free.

But when it comes to tv shows, they do NOT allow you to:

-watch a crappy episode of any random tv series
-to watch that episode for free
-to watch it for free days after it was already on tv anyway

So... it is only an episode of a tv show, no world championship, no live event, nothing that makes you want to grab popcorn and beer (not that I would).It's not live, so it does not even compete against tv, but nevertheless, you are supposed to pay! And most of all, there is no clue whatsoever in the tv advertisement! It looks like paradise! You miss an episode, who cares, you watch it on the internet! No, it was just a crappy joke.

What do they expect and why do they use this strategy? Is it like "telling them that it costs money will make them shy away"?
I mean, it's not like I see it costs money and then I think: Oh... what a surprise. Well, who cares, just give me the damn episode now that I have gone the long way to my computer and typed in the address!
Hell no! I can watch it for free in English, just have to search for it. It's more inconvenient, but okay, I will do it as long as I know what House did last time, but I'm not paying damn money for it.

The biggest joke of all is this: If I had known all of this before, I would have watched the episode that day. I would have stayed up and not done anything else. I would have given this shitty tv station their viewing rate. But instead, they neither got my viewing rate, nor did they get my money.

I think I will write to them some time in the future. After watching House today. On TV!

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Hetero pride

"...the more important it is that stars confess their love for men in public: Thus they encourage those who hide their sexuality out of fear of the reaction of their environment and, at the same time, show the whole world that heterosexuality is not less "normal" than homosexuality".

You heard it! Don't be afraid! If you are heterosexual, if you are a guy loving girls or a girl loving guys, be strong! Step up to your gay parents and tell them right in the face that you deserve as much respect and love as everyone else! It is okay to like someone from a different sex, even if it's unusual and seems so unnatural because of all the physical differences.

Okay, I think you get the idea. This was simply another mistake done by an author of the German MSN website. They put pictures of all the stars who are gay on it and also this little comment about how okay and necessary it is to be gay. They just mixed up the words there and made it look as if heterosexuality is the unusual thing and not homosexuality.

Well, this mistake had to happen because the person who put the words on the site (maybe a gay person, considering the passion and commitment of his/her comment) had to make it more complicated than necessary. If you say "not less normal than bla bla bla", of course you get confused. I mean: That ain't not so hard to not misdiscomprehend, isn't it not?

There was also a huge understatement in the text, just above the one I quoted here. The author wrote that homosexuality is still a taboo in many countries and that some gays even get discriminated against in some countries. Hell yeah! You could also want to mention that some countries even kill people who are homosexual. But that would not be so nice to read, would it?

The reason for this is again religion. I think there are many things one can argue about in religion, but when you read what the bible (and other books) say about a man hanging out with another man in this specific way, it's clear enough that it's not so welcome. I don't care, I have nothing against gay people, but somehow I feel that Christianity and homosexuality don't go well together. You have to do a lot to make it sound right for yourself if you are gay.

Anyway, happiness comes first, I guess. But that is already enough for now. Just thought I'd share the madness of another mistake done by someone whose job I'd love to take over but can't because I'm officially not qualified enough.

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Stop the presses!

-Similarities make relationships last longer than differences
-Sex is healthy
-Atmospheric change irreversible
-Atmospheric change definitely caused by mankind
-Facial symmetry is attractive
-Pair bonding influenced by facial features of the parents

What do all these online article headlines have in common? Well, several things. They are all commonly known, they appear time after time over years, they are always presented as "new" although they have been published before, and it always takes scientists to figure out things that any human being could guess.

The phrase is always "now [enter number] scientists at the [name] institute have found out that..." and it makes you wonder how many scientists can find out the same thing until all the scientists in the world come to the conclusion that other scientists in other countries have already stated the obvious a million times.

Another interesting thing is what the media make out of this. They use the amazingly researched information to use it for their own interests. You can easily link the "sex is healthy" part with the online dating site that you are supporting, link it to the erotic area of your site, and of course also promote "free love" as something totally normal. In other words: Just have sex with everyone as often as possible, otherwise you die early. By the way, people who kiss a lot live [enter number] years longer than people who.... uhm... don't kiss. Monks?

Eventually they do more things, like even turning bad things into good things. For example: If you cheat on your partner, be so nice not to tell them, because that ruins a relationship. You do your partner a favour by NOT telling them. And hey, it's better for everyone. You can have sex to support your health, and your partner can live without worries. All the stress is really unnecessary.

Yes, it's true. Our society has come to a point where it is open to discussion whether to tell someone that he/she was cheated on or not. In the good old days it was up to everyone to decide, but nowadays you can read everywhere what some stupid journalists think. Imagine if your partner buys a typical man/woman magazine and it's full of this kind of shit. What would you think? I personally don't like the thought that a magazine talks about "7 ways to deal with having cheated on someone" or "10 secrets a woman should always keep" or "20 reasons why magazines that use whatever number of reasons suck".

Why is all this such a big problem to me? Hm... I think it's because there is no room for the deeper meaning any more. It can be religion, but also the true ideal of being in a love relationship. It used to matter more to be loyal to each other, but nowadays it looks like nobody believes that loyalty pays off. You can't justify it with religion because 90 per cent of the readers are either unreligious or only religious by name. I also must admit: It's difficult to explain loyalty in a secular world. You can't say:"Well... you just don't do things like that".

One more thing: One colleague at work sucks. Why am I saying that? Just precaution. I don't want it to look like I didn't see it coming. If I ever write about him again, then you know I saw it coming.

Saturday, August 30, 2008


Welcome to my 100th post! I will make it quick.

The following typos or mistakes were commited by my favourite website for spelling mistakes:

1. In an article about the weather, an expert said that as long as the days are longer than the nights, there is still hope for summer weather. In German, it would have been "Solange die Tage noch länger sind als die Nächte...". But instead, it said "Nächste", which means "next". But that doesn't make any sense at all, it's just a complete mistake. It's not even a typo because the letter "s" is not anywhere near the letters used for that word. That means that the writer was simply asleep or already with his brain on the way home.

2. A German football goalkeeper working in Austria was injured by fireworks during a match. In one article, he was called a former "Bundesligatrainer" instead of "Bundesligatorwart". So they made a former coach out of him instead of a former goalkeeper of the German first league. This time, it's again not a typo but another mindless mistake. A similar sounding word is used because the author only uses half of his brain to complete the article.

3. Another football-related article. A player has collapsed and almost died, and the comrades (Kameraden) achieve a victory in his name in the very same match. The only problem: The author of the article badly misspells "Kameraden" and turns it into "Kammerraden". Double "m" and double "r". This word makes no sense at all. I would like to assume that two keys got stuck on the keyboard at the same time, but that would be too nice. In this case it is simply a very, very bad understanding of our language. How can you even get a hold of such a job if you don't know how to spell such a word? I mean, one mistake in the word would be okay, but two mistakes make the word already so optically wrong that you -have to- realise that it's wrong. Didn't he struggle when typing the word? Was he in such a hurry?

Now I want to come back to the letter I mentioned the other day. You remember, I intended to write to my neighbours who like to have sex and arguments in the middle of the night with half-closed windows. Here is the letter (translated), I will just get straight the point:

Dear neighbours,

we are sorry to let you know that the standard of living has drastically changed since your arrival. [This place] is usually a relatively quiet area. However, it can lately be heard clearly how you argue loudly and then, also well-audibly, "exchange caresses", to put it mildly.

All of this happens in the middle of the night, sometimes in the evening, in any case easy to hear since your windows are half-open.

Now, unfortunately some people have to get up early in the morning. That is of course a little unusual to think of at first glance, but the reason is that these people have to work for their money. Apart from that, many people also have their windows open due to the summer-like temperatures, which is a right to everyone.

In your case you will have to keep the windows shut, at least for your nocturnal activities. However, we additionally ask you to be a little more quiet, because with the sound level up to now, not even double bullet-proof glass could prevent us from waking up.

Maybe all of this will even be to your advantage. Because when you tell your partner that you are angry, you can save yourself a lot of screaming around for the rest of the conversation. That gives the vocal cords a rest and makes it possible to concentrate on solving problems rather than throwing things at each other, only to drown them in a a five-minute mini orgy afterwards.

We expect that sensibility and discretion will win and hope for a good neighbourhood. Thank you very much and all the best!

Your sleepless neighbours

Note: Since I put the letter at their door in the middle of a night, it has been more quiet. They still like to make kitchen noise, but at least I don't hear any grunting or any more or arguments. But my personal theory is that habit makes people forget things easily. Habit is stronger than anything else.

There are more things to mention, especially stories on the bus, but I don't know how to put all of this in one entry and I fear that the number of readers decreases dramatically if I do. I will save it for later then. I would have liked a more glorious 100th post, maybe also with private greetings, but it has to be okay like this. I will collect more stupidity in the future. Farewell.

Friday, August 08, 2008

They did it again

Last night my neighbours repeated the same things they did the other day. First there was a huge argument, 5 minutes after midnight, that ended in shattered dishes. While they were arguing, their windows were open and they didn't seem to care that the rest of the world was listening.

When it stopped, I could not sleep for more than an hour. I was half angry, half shocked, half unbelieving that people so stupid can even exist. And I also expected them to have their typical make up sex that always seems to come after an argument. And yes, that happened, too. Not one hour, but 1 hour and 45 minutes later. This time it almost seemed that their windows were closed, but I could still hear all the noises. Again, it didn't last long, only ridiculous 5 minutes or less.

I don't know how to describe how they make me feel. Somehow I am shocked and disgusted that this is how a relationship sometimes works. They argue like crazy, all the time, then they have their standardised 5 minutes sex, then the world is okay again. And one or two nights later, it all starts again. A relationship as grey and full of routine as the most boring job in the world.

I will write a letter to them. I figured that it's useless to make it sound angry, and it's useless to make it sound threatening. Both will be ignored. I think I will write it in a satirical way so that I can still smile about it in a while, and it's also nice to pay back for all the shit they put me through. You have to keep in mind, it was Friday, and I have to go to work, dammit! Maybe they don't have to go to work because the state feeds them, but I have to get up early, yeah.

I also bought a book today. The title is "Generation doof" which would translate "Generation dumb" and it's a very nice book so far full of anecdotes of people who are just totally stupid. It describes the whole generation of people who were badly raised, who don't know anything, and who do the weirdest things that are so damn stupid. It's great.

So I guess my next entry will be this letter. We will see. In any case it will be the 100th post of this blog, a blog that has turned into a site that fights against the stupidity in this world. Never stop complaining because the worst is yet to come.

Sunday, August 03, 2008

My neighbours had sex

This is the second post within 24 hours, and I actually wanted to write this in the middle of last night already.

What happened last night was outrageous and something that can only happen nowadays. Not in the 80s, not in the 90s, no, it happens these days now that people who were raised in the worst way are old enough to live in an apartment of their own.

Last night I woke up for the first time when it was about half past 1am. My window was half open, so I could hear what was going on outside. I heard a couple arguing in a very loud way. It was totally clear, so I could easily notice that their windows must have been open or half open too. It took a while, but a long while, until they finally stopped arguing. This was the second time at least that I noticed that, but the first time in the damn middle of the night.

The worst was yet to come. Because I woke up about one hour later, and while I woke up from strange dreams, I was already thinking "what am I dreaming here?". But I was not dreaming, it was the noise from outside again! And I can tell you, what I heard was even too much for me. All this moaning and screaming in a pleasent way. But it was not pleasent for me, rather "pukative" to describe how it made me feel awkward. Okay, they had sex, very loud sex. And it only lasted for about a pathetic 5 minutes. But again it was outrageous how they have sex at quarter to three in the night with windows open.

It makes me feel sick. I even had a bad feeling when I imagined what such a marriage must be like. Uoorgh! Disgusting. Can't they at least keep all the stuff that goes on inside their house? Do I have to hear all that?

This morning my mum told me that it's not the first time they had sex that was clearly hearable. It even happens in the evening sometimes, when people still walk around outside. They obviously have sex about three times a week. And there are also times when this woman has guests and she laughs all over the city with her crazy laughter. I don't know what these people look like but I bet they are the most typical, stereotypical people.

There are only two logical conclusions to be made about them. Either: They do not care the slightest bit about being heard when they argue or have wild, crazy sex. Or: They are totally clueless and brain-amputated about the fact that they -CAN- be heard. Which one is more likely?

Do you realise the strange resemblance? The deja vu? Yes, I actually talked about these kind of people before. They either don't give a damn or they have no idea. It goes for people who drive cars, parents who don't care about their children, people on the bus, people on the street, everyone! And it's a whole generation of badly-raised idiots! One day there will be so many of them that the ones who are now right will not be right any more, instead they will be a minority that will be considered "stuck up and nerdy". Or something like that.

I hope that it will stop some day. It is summer now, so I have no desire to not open the window at night, because I need fresh air. But one thing I promise is that I will not argue or have wild sex with open doors, unless I live in a big, big villa far away from the rest of the world. And I'm not going to live in such a place. These idiots neither, unless they win the lottery. With their low IQ nothing else can make them rich.

Wow... can't believe it has to come this far. Up to now, I have only complained about stuff that's rather usual. But this is not normal any more. Do I really have to discuss the sexual life of other people now just to get my deserved sleep? How do I make them stop? Do I really have to talk to them? We don't even know how they are called, where their door is or where to place a letter for them. Can they even read? Which words do I use? Coitus? No... too intellectual. I have to write it down in a very straight forward way if I do. n a house next door, they don't live in the very same building that we live in! Can you imagine how many buildings are capable of receiving these noises?

And just to make it clear: They don't live in our house, they live next door. In a different building. And it can be heard from all the buildings around.

Well anyway, just to let you know: I had to live here for 12 years to ever experience that!

Saturday, August 02, 2008


When I came home from my first day of the new job training, something embarrassing happened that was just a typical bus story again.

I had not been on this bus line before, at least not since ages ago. When the bus arrived where I wanted to get off, there were three possible areas where it could stop. And that was the problem because it's not possible to tell which bus stop is the right one, so you basically wait until the bus stops and try to hit the "open" button.
The bus came to a halt and one person entered the bus already, so I figured that this would be the right moment to get off. Two people (a couple) were in front of me, holding on to the pole where the "open" button is. I thought they either don't want to get off or they are too stupid to push the damn button, so I walked around them, squeezed myself between them and the door and pushed the button like crazy. Only after nothing happened and I asked them like an idiot "doesn't it usually stop here?" they told me that this is not where the bus stops. The only reason the bus stopped was because the driver welcomed another driver to the bus!

Yeah... how could I have known that? I mean, it already happens to people when the bus stops in the middle of the road just because of a red traffic light. But this WAS a bus stop, AND someone even entered the bus there! So I had enough clues to think that the driver just didn't open the damn door. I'm just so happy I didn't scream "HELLLOOOO!" all over the bus.

You see how embarrassing it can get. And "Hello!" is just the right introduction of the old topic again. People who can't stop saying "Hello" everywhere. Sometimes people greet each other on the street, but who they greet is someone walking directly behind you! So someone you totally don't know walks at you, looks into your eyes and says "what? you here? Hiiiii!" and you are already starting to talk to them, putting your arms up or something like that. Then you find out they are referring to someone behind you. Ouch!

Or on the bus. You are daydreaming, possibly thinking about the day of work that's ahead of you, and some idiot walks by you and screams "HELLLLOOOOO!" or "Hello? Hello?". And THEN you find out they are talking into a cell phone. Argh!

The most amazing thing again is the ignorance of those who are in the center of the world in that moment. Not the slightest imagination of how other people might feel bothered. And the ones who don't even want to have anything to do with it, they have to duck and hope afterwards that nobody saw them when they made an idiot of themselves by responding in any way.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Behold! A positive post!

Yes, this time I want to tell you about a part of society that doesn't piss me off, instead I am finally proud of the people around me. In my quest for finding stuff to rant about regarding our society, I easily forget situations that happen to be good ones. Here we go:

To cut the story short, I was on my way to a grocery and found a wallet. Content: 5 euros, ID card, documents for a car and other important stuff. I decided that it's okay to give the money to the owner because 5 euros is no temptation at all, so I threw it into the slot that's next to the door (the owner of the wallet was not home).

I didn't expect anything then. My mum called this guy because she wanted to know if he received the wallet (she didn't know that this slot led -inside- the house and was not outside). So yeah, this man said on the phone that he was very happy to have his wallet back.

The next day, I was still in bed but already awake, the door rang. I could hear most of the conversation that followed between my mum and the man. He said he was very grateful that I brought his wallet, mentioned that the documents would have cost him a lot to be replaced, and also uttered this phrase about "young people who are helpful and need to be rewarded". So I got 20 euros as a gift. By the way, that was more than what I paid that day getting my groceries.

This man was born in 1935, which I know from his ID card. So he belongs to the group of people we call the old ones. And there is a lot of bad things to say about old people, but one thing is also for certain: Only few of them are really that bad.

In fact, old people rock. Yes! Why? They were raised the good old way! What they have in common with me is that we were beaten, we were called names, and we were given the feeling that we're not worth more than a donkey. Yes, but they have their manners and know how to act. They even teach us good things if we listen. And it's never bad to listen to someone who went through a war. They even tell us that our lives are not as bad as we feel they are.

Okay, now let me post the list of things that make old people so unique:

+being appropriately grateful for good deeds being done to them
+rewarding good behaviour
+appreciating good behaviour and being able to abstract the behaviour of the individual from the usual behaviour (example: young people = impolite bullies; exception = surprise = acknowledgement)
+acting in a way that oneself would act towards others; treating people how they want to be treated themselves

I have a lot of good experience with old people. I will probably rant about them again, but let me just say that most of the time that old people cause trouble, they are always the exception and there will be a lot more old people who act differently. Old people are cool and we can be glad they exist. Just imagine they were not there, there would be no authorities any more. Yes, real authorities, I mean. Not "teachers" and stuff. People who, just by the way they look and speak, already make a young child act more politely.

Anyway, just to say once again that not everyone is stupid in this world. There is not one thing that was bad about this whole incident the other day. I was not disappointed in any way, and even without a reward, I would have been glad for the complete appreciation, even over-appreciation for finding the wallet.

Well, don't worry, I'm sure I will get angry about something again.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Britney Spears' mum kills 12 year old boy and travels back to the future

I read an article the other day that went like this:

Shock! Britney Spears' mother kills 12 year old boy

Looks like things are not calming down at Spears' place. First Britney gets into one scandal after the next, then her sister gets a baby, and now this: Britney's mother killed a 12 year old boy in 1975! It was a tragic car accident.

and some paragraphs later...

Maybe she should have told her daughters about this earlier...

Okay... the most striking thing first: The headline is absolutely misleading. Saying that she "kills 12 year old boy" sounds like it must have happened at least in the last couple of days. But when you look at the fact that this happened decades ago (my very own parents didn't even know each other then) it makes it look as if Mrs Spears went back in time, accidentally killed a boy, and now shares this tragic event with the world. Is this a new movie called Terminator versus Back To The Future? Maybe she killed someone important.

The other thing is, what do they mean with "she should have told her daughters earlier"? I bet she did tell them before, but never cared to let the media know. And why? Because they make the biggest drama out of this, as you see.

I also want to emphasize that next to the headline of the article was a picture of her where she looked shocked. A very recent picture, not a black and white picture of her in her younger days.

Maybe the worst thing, apart from the level of patheticness, is the fact that this whole story totally uses the boy who got killed. I don't recall reading his name anywhere, they just use his accident and his unlucky fate to get some clicks on the internet. A shame that they make profit and dance on his grave like that. Apart from that, this story is just another useless drama story without any valuable content. I couldn't care less about something that happened so long ago. I mean: Just because it's summer, does it mean that everything is so boring that they are -that- desperate to come up with new stories? And why are they AGAIN misleading people by giving them a totally wrong impression? Do they think I want to keep opening their articles?

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

The problem with names!

I want to seize this post to complain about some things again. I will divide this post in several paragraphs so it's easier to read. The main topic today is: Names, sportsmen and the media:

Case 1: The Ronaldos
There is one thing that bugs me a lot about the media: As soon as two sportsmen with similar names are well-known, the media make it very hard to distinguish between them, and they do that on purpose. Maybe some of you know that there is this Brazilian footballer called Ronaldo. He was world champion with his country but his career is declining at the moment. You also know that there is another guy who is getting just as famous as the previous one once was: Cristiano Ronaldo. Now let me ask you one thing: What is so difficult about keeping the names distinguished just like that? When Ronaldo came, he only had his last name to refer to. When Cristiano Ronaldo came, he was always "Cristiano Ronaldo" and not just "Ronaldo". I think it was even his official player name on the shirt. So why in the world would the media suddenly refer to him as "Ronaldo" just because it's more convenient to them but confusing to the reader?
The mess began when Cristiano Ronaldo was so famous that people started calling him Ronaldo. Suddenly the other, older Ronaldo was in the media for some scandal, but then everyone was asking: Which Ronaldo? First you have to open the articles on the net to see who it is. And it always goes like that. You read a short headline but you have to load the article to see who it is.

There is also something else that's funny about the "real" Ronaldo: When he started his national team career for Brazil, there had once already been a player who called himself "Ronaldo". As you know, the Brazilians don't use their full names, because they are often long like "Ronaldo Luis da Silva de Marco Alabinirisi" (exagerrated). So they use artist names anyway. So young Ronaldo had to look for a substitute name because it was not allowed to use the same name for two different people. So he chose to call himself "Ronaldinho". He played with this name during a whole competition. Then, some years later, another Brazilian star rose. His name was... Ronaldinho. And then the ones responsible for the names were like:"Ohhhh shit! Fuck! What are we going to do? This is so messed up!" So in the end they threw away that rule, gave Ronaldo the "Ronaldo" shirt and the new Ronaldinho the "Ronaldinho" shirt. See, don't make it complicated, it's just the same as movie titles. Don't mess with them.

Case 2: The Schumachers
The most famous person with that name is Michael Schumacher, and I don't have to introduce him either. He quit his formula one career after the 2006 season, but as the most successful driver in the history of the sport, it's clear that he is still the one people think of when they hear the name. Especially when they use his nickname, which is "Schumi" in our country. When you say this, you are referring to just one person, and that is him. His brother, who is also a race driver, is sometimes referred to as "Schumi 2". Not so nice, but at least there is no confusion.

Something bad had to happen here too. In this year's Tour de France (yes, cycling, not motor sports), a young cyclist came up whose last name is.... well, you guess what: Schumacher. Oh hell... so what do the media do? Yes, they call him "Schumi" or "Bike Schumi". Which is also useless because Michael Schumacher is also a motorcycle driver at the moment. So whenever I read stuff like "Schumi won a bike race" or "Schumi fell off his bike", I think: What? He had an accident? He raced again? Oh, he won? He hasn't been a motorcycle driver for that long.

But then I have to think again: Oh wait... which one? Have to open the damn page. Argh.. advertisements everywhere. Where is it, where is it? What?! Tour de France? Who cares about that? Let this guy first win 7 championships before you give him the same nickname, okay?

Let's also talk about Ralf Schumacher now, Michael's brother. There was one article on the net that made my blood boil. First, let me say that Ralf is not in formula one any more since the end of 2007. Now, there was an article that said:"Does Ralf return to F1 soon?". First I thought: Wow, interesting, are some teams interested in him? Does his manager have a nice deal at hand? Is there any news about other people losing their seats? But guess what... the only thing the short and crappy article said was that Ralf would go back to formula 1 if he was offered a contract to race again. I mean... what the hell? Even I would drive in F1 if I was offered to drive there, dammit. Who wouldn't? Damn, yes, how obvious. Well, what about this:

Is XXX* the next world champion?
XXX* from team YYY* might be the next world champion. According to reliable sources, he said that he was eager to be world champion one day. A dream many people have. Bla bla bla, bla bla bla.

*insert ANY damn name

Okay, that's all I wanted to say about that. I just find it amazing how some people can write a whole article stating something totally obvious and fooling the reader into reading the article in the first place.

And Ralf is not going back to formula one. I know that as an experienced fan. End of the story.

Case 3: The guy with the stupid name
There is a comedian here who has had some success with movies, shows, etc. He has a totally random name but uses "Bully" as his artist name. So, there was this article that said that he is going to court to protest against a video game that is also called "Bully". A video game made by an American company. He said that he didn't like to be associated with this game because it has some (minor, if I may say) violent content.
Okay, now the one million dollar question: Who does this guy think he is? Does he think he can "own" the word "bully" and forbid everyone to use it? It's even a comedian so he should know how to accept that things like that happen. I mean, "bully" is one of the most used words in the world, people in America use this all day at school without knowing that this guy somewhere in Germany exists. What is he thinking? Do people go around calling themselves "Bully" or "Fancy" and then pout when they feel their rights are being ignored?

You know what? I'm going to do exactly the same. May I introduce myself? My name is
Mr. Love.
And everyone who writes a love song will get into trouble, because love comes from
Mr. Love.
Don't dare to forget that!

Haha... shit. I'm going crazy.

That was all, and I will end this post here so I don't scare away potential readers.