Monday, July 28, 2008

Behold! A positive post!

Yes, this time I want to tell you about a part of society that doesn't piss me off, instead I am finally proud of the people around me. In my quest for finding stuff to rant about regarding our society, I easily forget situations that happen to be good ones. Here we go:

To cut the story short, I was on my way to a grocery and found a wallet. Content: 5 euros, ID card, documents for a car and other important stuff. I decided that it's okay to give the money to the owner because 5 euros is no temptation at all, so I threw it into the slot that's next to the door (the owner of the wallet was not home).

I didn't expect anything then. My mum called this guy because she wanted to know if he received the wallet (she didn't know that this slot led -inside- the house and was not outside). So yeah, this man said on the phone that he was very happy to have his wallet back.

The next day, I was still in bed but already awake, the door rang. I could hear most of the conversation that followed between my mum and the man. He said he was very grateful that I brought his wallet, mentioned that the documents would have cost him a lot to be replaced, and also uttered this phrase about "young people who are helpful and need to be rewarded". So I got 20 euros as a gift. By the way, that was more than what I paid that day getting my groceries.

This man was born in 1935, which I know from his ID card. So he belongs to the group of people we call the old ones. And there is a lot of bad things to say about old people, but one thing is also for certain: Only few of them are really that bad.

In fact, old people rock. Yes! Why? They were raised the good old way! What they have in common with me is that we were beaten, we were called names, and we were given the feeling that we're not worth more than a donkey. Yes, but they have their manners and know how to act. They even teach us good things if we listen. And it's never bad to listen to someone who went through a war. They even tell us that our lives are not as bad as we feel they are.

Okay, now let me post the list of things that make old people so unique:

+being appropriately grateful for good deeds being done to them
+rewarding good behaviour
+appreciating good behaviour and being able to abstract the behaviour of the individual from the usual behaviour (example: young people = impolite bullies; exception = surprise = acknowledgement)
+acting in a way that oneself would act towards others; treating people how they want to be treated themselves

I have a lot of good experience with old people. I will probably rant about them again, but let me just say that most of the time that old people cause trouble, they are always the exception and there will be a lot more old people who act differently. Old people are cool and we can be glad they exist. Just imagine they were not there, there would be no authorities any more. Yes, real authorities, I mean. Not "teachers" and stuff. People who, just by the way they look and speak, already make a young child act more politely.

Anyway, just to say once again that not everyone is stupid in this world. There is not one thing that was bad about this whole incident the other day. I was not disappointed in any way, and even without a reward, I would have been glad for the complete appreciation, even over-appreciation for finding the wallet.

Well, don't worry, I'm sure I will get angry about something again.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Britney Spears' mum kills 12 year old boy and travels back to the future

I read an article the other day that went like this:

Shock! Britney Spears' mother kills 12 year old boy

Looks like things are not calming down at Spears' place. First Britney gets into one scandal after the next, then her sister gets a baby, and now this: Britney's mother killed a 12 year old boy in 1975! It was a tragic car accident.

and some paragraphs later...

Maybe she should have told her daughters about this earlier...

Okay... the most striking thing first: The headline is absolutely misleading. Saying that she "kills 12 year old boy" sounds like it must have happened at least in the last couple of days. But when you look at the fact that this happened decades ago (my very own parents didn't even know each other then) it makes it look as if Mrs Spears went back in time, accidentally killed a boy, and now shares this tragic event with the world. Is this a new movie called Terminator versus Back To The Future? Maybe she killed someone important.

The other thing is, what do they mean with "she should have told her daughters earlier"? I bet she did tell them before, but never cared to let the media know. And why? Because they make the biggest drama out of this, as you see.

I also want to emphasize that next to the headline of the article was a picture of her where she looked shocked. A very recent picture, not a black and white picture of her in her younger days.

Maybe the worst thing, apart from the level of patheticness, is the fact that this whole story totally uses the boy who got killed. I don't recall reading his name anywhere, they just use his accident and his unlucky fate to get some clicks on the internet. A shame that they make profit and dance on his grave like that. Apart from that, this story is just another useless drama story without any valuable content. I couldn't care less about something that happened so long ago. I mean: Just because it's summer, does it mean that everything is so boring that they are -that- desperate to come up with new stories? And why are they AGAIN misleading people by giving them a totally wrong impression? Do they think I want to keep opening their articles?

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

The problem with names!

I want to seize this post to complain about some things again. I will divide this post in several paragraphs so it's easier to read. The main topic today is: Names, sportsmen and the media:

Case 1: The Ronaldos
There is one thing that bugs me a lot about the media: As soon as two sportsmen with similar names are well-known, the media make it very hard to distinguish between them, and they do that on purpose. Maybe some of you know that there is this Brazilian footballer called Ronaldo. He was world champion with his country but his career is declining at the moment. You also know that there is another guy who is getting just as famous as the previous one once was: Cristiano Ronaldo. Now let me ask you one thing: What is so difficult about keeping the names distinguished just like that? When Ronaldo came, he only had his last name to refer to. When Cristiano Ronaldo came, he was always "Cristiano Ronaldo" and not just "Ronaldo". I think it was even his official player name on the shirt. So why in the world would the media suddenly refer to him as "Ronaldo" just because it's more convenient to them but confusing to the reader?
The mess began when Cristiano Ronaldo was so famous that people started calling him Ronaldo. Suddenly the other, older Ronaldo was in the media for some scandal, but then everyone was asking: Which Ronaldo? First you have to open the articles on the net to see who it is. And it always goes like that. You read a short headline but you have to load the article to see who it is.

There is also something else that's funny about the "real" Ronaldo: When he started his national team career for Brazil, there had once already been a player who called himself "Ronaldo". As you know, the Brazilians don't use their full names, because they are often long like "Ronaldo Luis da Silva de Marco Alabinirisi" (exagerrated). So they use artist names anyway. So young Ronaldo had to look for a substitute name because it was not allowed to use the same name for two different people. So he chose to call himself "Ronaldinho". He played with this name during a whole competition. Then, some years later, another Brazilian star rose. His name was... Ronaldinho. And then the ones responsible for the names were like:"Ohhhh shit! Fuck! What are we going to do? This is so messed up!" So in the end they threw away that rule, gave Ronaldo the "Ronaldo" shirt and the new Ronaldinho the "Ronaldinho" shirt. See, don't make it complicated, it's just the same as movie titles. Don't mess with them.

Case 2: The Schumachers
The most famous person with that name is Michael Schumacher, and I don't have to introduce him either. He quit his formula one career after the 2006 season, but as the most successful driver in the history of the sport, it's clear that he is still the one people think of when they hear the name. Especially when they use his nickname, which is "Schumi" in our country. When you say this, you are referring to just one person, and that is him. His brother, who is also a race driver, is sometimes referred to as "Schumi 2". Not so nice, but at least there is no confusion.

Something bad had to happen here too. In this year's Tour de France (yes, cycling, not motor sports), a young cyclist came up whose last name is.... well, you guess what: Schumacher. Oh hell... so what do the media do? Yes, they call him "Schumi" or "Bike Schumi". Which is also useless because Michael Schumacher is also a motorcycle driver at the moment. So whenever I read stuff like "Schumi won a bike race" or "Schumi fell off his bike", I think: What? He had an accident? He raced again? Oh, he won? He hasn't been a motorcycle driver for that long.

But then I have to think again: Oh wait... which one? Have to open the damn page. Argh.. advertisements everywhere. Where is it, where is it? What?! Tour de France? Who cares about that? Let this guy first win 7 championships before you give him the same nickname, okay?

Let's also talk about Ralf Schumacher now, Michael's brother. There was one article on the net that made my blood boil. First, let me say that Ralf is not in formula one any more since the end of 2007. Now, there was an article that said:"Does Ralf return to F1 soon?". First I thought: Wow, interesting, are some teams interested in him? Does his manager have a nice deal at hand? Is there any news about other people losing their seats? But guess what... the only thing the short and crappy article said was that Ralf would go back to formula 1 if he was offered a contract to race again. I mean... what the hell? Even I would drive in F1 if I was offered to drive there, dammit. Who wouldn't? Damn, yes, how obvious. Well, what about this:

Is XXX* the next world champion?
XXX* from team YYY* might be the next world champion. According to reliable sources, he said that he was eager to be world champion one day. A dream many people have. Bla bla bla, bla bla bla.

*insert ANY damn name

Okay, that's all I wanted to say about that. I just find it amazing how some people can write a whole article stating something totally obvious and fooling the reader into reading the article in the first place.

And Ralf is not going back to formula one. I know that as an experienced fan. End of the story.

Case 3: The guy with the stupid name
There is a comedian here who has had some success with movies, shows, etc. He has a totally random name but uses "Bully" as his artist name. So, there was this article that said that he is going to court to protest against a video game that is also called "Bully". A video game made by an American company. He said that he didn't like to be associated with this game because it has some (minor, if I may say) violent content.
Okay, now the one million dollar question: Who does this guy think he is? Does he think he can "own" the word "bully" and forbid everyone to use it? It's even a comedian so he should know how to accept that things like that happen. I mean, "bully" is one of the most used words in the world, people in America use this all day at school without knowing that this guy somewhere in Germany exists. What is he thinking? Do people go around calling themselves "Bully" or "Fancy" and then pout when they feel their rights are being ignored?

You know what? I'm going to do exactly the same. May I introduce myself? My name is
Mr. Love.
And everyone who writes a love song will get into trouble, because love comes from
Mr. Love.
Don't dare to forget that!

Haha... shit. I'm going crazy.

That was all, and I will end this post here so I don't scare away potential readers.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

For those who are still looking for that something more...

Today, 8th of July, marks the 3 year anniversary. That is something special. Can't believe it. Whoever knows about me knows what I mean.

Times are changing so fast. And I'm still looking for what feels perfect. Deep inside me I still don't feel whole. Complete. There was this magazine I read the other day at work, it was about merging with your self. About being a complete, round, solid person. To put the "I" into oneself.

This was very interesting to read. Mainly because it said the things that I basically knew, but nobody seemed to utter these words in a scientifically valid way. But now it's open to everyone. The magazine said that we all have different drives. Some people are looking for a social network, they want to feel taken care of, so they fit into social jobs. Other people are looking for power, but not in a selfish way, more in a way how they can take part in changing the world. Yet another group of people are performance people. They are not looking for power, they are looking for doing well and achieving something.

When I read through all this, I realised how much I would have needed this before, and at the same time I realised that all of this still doesn't help me. It is not that I have not asked myself what is the right job for me. There are ideas I had, but there was always something in the way. I was once a very creative person. I had ideas of creating movies, music, video games, and I could name all the ideas I would put into one of them, and I always thought:"Let me do it, I know what people want".
A lot of time passed since then. I gave up these dreams because they were always associated with one of two options: One option is to go the wild way. Castings, going on the road, sending your stuff in and hoping for good answers. Just the way where you are not trained in any way, you just try your luck and hope to be picked as one of millions of people who try. The other way is studying, because you can study music, you can study movie/theater-related stuff, you can basically study anything. But both ways didn't sound appealing to me. It never seemed right. I neither had the courage or confidence, nor the time (that's how I felt) to study my ass off for 5 years or to dare to go the wild way.

The scary part is that once you enter a way, you hardly can escape. Doing a training once already means that you are most likely to stay where you are. Even the magazine said that personell managers rarely accept people who completely changed their vocational identity. I'm afraid of being unhappy whatever I do. If I'm not happy, I might not be able to get a job in a different field.

Somehow I feel left out again when I read this. It's like everyone can just listen to the inner voice, but I can't because life just doesn't work that way. I can't just do a job training as "millionaire" or "music star" because this doesn't work. I also can't just go to a video game company and say "you know what, let me take over from here". And you know, whatever you do, you always need skills that I don't have. If you get involved with video games, you need to do programming, which I suck at. If you want to study music, you need to learn all the tiring details about classical composing, and I don't have the nerves for that. And this is how the list goes on. I even gave up once and said to myself that I will go for foreign languages instead, because at least I was good at school in English. But what is the next shock? There are practically no jobs that are only foreign language and have a good perspective for the future. One reason: There are always better-educated people who know more languages and have even studied (!). Another reason: Languages alone don't get you anywhere. You either combine them with other stuff (tourism, economy) or you let it go.

So in the end I went a way that now, I rather doubt was good. First I went to a school that trained both foreign language and business-related stuff. After one year I stopped. Now I do a training that's totally business-related, and the only way it relates to what I actually wanted is that foreign language skills are helpful. But it's not even the case that they are a primary function of the job. They are only one side skill. It's like becoming a psychatrist when you're actually into religion. It helps but it's only one part of it.

It was always hard for me to imagine being happy in a job. This idea of going to work in the morning and coming back when the bones and mind feel tired. I have nothing against temporary work like this, when I know I can expect something better, but this is just where I'm not sure. I don't know how often I have to switch companies, countries, sectors before I end up in a good job. I don't even know what I'd enjoy. Somehow I enjoy working with people, but on the other hand I also shy away from others and my social skills go to zero. Another example of two factors eliminating each other. See, I have lots of them. I am not at all a complete person.

They also showed two pictures in this magazine of what characteristics a complete, integrated person and an incomplete person have. It discouraged me because I am the epitome of the incomplete person. Mistrust, fear, insecurity, hesitancy. All traits of the incomplete person. I could basically recognize -ALL- the character traits in me. The only positive side I could see was the inner calmness I often try to achieve.

Somehow I feel sorry about my self. Yes, not about myself, about my self. I'm sorry I can't reach the part of me I need to be one with. I'm not sure how to reach the happy child that turned into something else. I am left with a lot of question marks, and when I look over to the other side of the soul river, I can only shrug because as both of us can see, there is no way I can do a social job if I am not a social person, I can not do video games if I can't do programming, I can't do music if I don't study painful theory, I can't do director if I don't dedicate my whole life to it, I can't be a writer if I don't study a thousand books. There is nothing I can be except for a mediocre person who is glad to live. I do realise there was once so much that I wanted. And I realise how I can't be happy only creating music that a handful of people listen (and the same goes for other things I do).

I want to do more. But how... and how with the little self confidence?

Only one hope was in this whole article in the newspaper. One scientist says that a love relationship is one very good road on the way of becoming yourself. You grow towards the "I" in the presence of a "you", so to speak. And I get that, because it's where you can be yourself and don't have to act. Maybe private life is and was always my last hope anyway. Miserable working life, happy private life. Let's hope for that.

"Ich warte schon so lange auf den einen Moment
Ich bin auf der Suche nach 100 Prozent"

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

A rant about stupid people

How could 4 weeks pass since my last blog entry? I wanted to update a while ago already. But it's okay, I like it when time passes by quickly when I work.

Today there was another incident on the bus. As it turned out afterwards, 5 people left the bus at a bus stop. The funny thing was, none of them felt responsible for pressing the stop button in time. One person pressed it eventually, but that was so late that the driver just managed to brake and come to a halt several meters after the bus stop. I know drivers who would not have cared. And in that case, the others either go silent in shame or they start screaming in panic. What makes me feel astonished is this lack of awareness or responsibility. As if everyone is either dreaming or relying on someone else.

There is another example of this attitude. One of our neighbours is a woman we can't stand. She is, as far as I know, some kind of teacher, maybe preschool teacher, and she is the perfect example of what's wrong in society at the moment. The way she raises her children is just.... argh!
Okay, let me explain it this way:"You will PLEASE not do that. That is NOT NICE. No, you PLEASE don't do that."
And the child says:"Oh yes! I will!"

And it goes on like that basically. It's not only how she talks, it's also how the children act. They don't feel that their mother is an authority to them. Once our cat walked near these children, and one of them had a stick in his hand, and he made this throwing movement as if he was going to hit or throw the stick after our cat. And this boy is only 6-8 years old, I guess. What makes children only think of causing trouble and aggression? I feel it has to do with the lack of limits. They want to be treated as children, but the parents abuse them as equal partners, asking for love and recognition and treating them like they are already adults.
I am not making this up, by the way, I read this in an article in a newspaper. It is true.

Well, this woman also has this strange behaviour. It's the carelessness in her, she not only doesn't really care how provoking her own children are, she also doesn't care at all what the neighbours think. Basically all year long, she has something standing around in the stairway. It's either a stroller or bikes of her children. Now, of course nobody can protest against these things. They are basically not okay, but who would go against a mother like that? Nobody will. Just because people would think of you as a Nazi or some other kind of unworthy being immediately. "Worse than Hitler", in other words. Haha. But the crazy thing now is, she even put her OWN bike there. And that's a huge lady's bike. How can she dare to do that? If everyone did that, the whole stairway would be full of bikes, wheelchairs, motorcycles and paragliders (okay, you recognize the exaggeration).

At least they are moving out. But I know that, where ever they go, they will never learn their lesson. And you know what I also know? IF, IF, IF I ever did what she does, I would hear a lot of bad things from my neighbours. Then I would be the bad guy. It always hits you, but it never hits the others.

Having children is a perfect alibi. When you have a child, you have an excuse for everything. It already starts on the bus. You have a child, so yeah, it cries like crazy and nobody can say anything. You can't turn off the child. So that's where it begins... and I think that's where some women realise that they can use this everywhere.
When you have a child, you have an excuse for not working, you have an excuse for skipping some people in a cue, you have an excuse for being treated politely, for being offered a seat, and so on, and so on.
I have no problem with most of these things, but I would at least appreciate if these mothers acted with a lot of respect and awareness of the things around them. It often feels like they lose the ground beneath their feet and feel like the world belongs to them. It's an overkill of female emotions.... oh no, I can't believe I'm going there again.

Well, it's true. First you get fed this shit about "the goddess in you", then you go through "the miracle of birth", which already makes you better than any man because they can only watch in awe how you go through pain they could not survive, then you become the mother goddess, the lion mother with her children who protects them with her life. Yeah. Of course that's how some women feel. And they also serve their country, keep the economy alive, they are the real heros. And men, they are so useless. Wow....

Some women are okay because they don't get carried away. They still scream at their child in a moderate way when it really does shit, and they also say "step aside" in the supermarket when someone wants to go by and the lousy child is standing in the way, staring somewhere with its mouth drooling and a finger in its nose. They also tell their children to get THE HELL AWAY FROM THE ROAD. Yes... I'm sometimes also astonished how much faith parents have in the car drivers. It's like the WHOLE damn society is thinking:"Can't someone else pay attention for me?"

And this is where it goes back to the beginning of my entry. People here are depending on each other. People on the bus depend on each other by not pressing the button. Mothers depend on other people to not kill their children while they don't even protect them, drivers who drive like crazy depend on other drivers who, if they drove the same crazy way, would collide with them, and everyone just depends on everyone else. The world belongs to those who take the lead. Or those who live according to the rules.
I know that so many bad things would happen if I was one of these careless people. The bus would keep going, I would drive the children to death, I would get into accidents, and I'd make all my neighbours so damn angry. I have had these situations, don't think I haven't. Yes, for example I almost drove some children to death, but luckily I'm someone who pays A LOT of attention. I don't want to imagine being some techno-listening-punk idiot who drives these children to death with 50 km/h on a parking lot.

The absence of mothers in life-threatening situations is inversely proportional to their unjustified feeling of superiority.