Sorry for not updating. Did I lose all my readers?
March is over. It was supposed to be the month of organizing,the month after which a lot more things are clear. The basic things are clear now,not all but what matters is clear. Only death or disease can keep me from going to my destination this summer. A holiday of 4 weeks in a country far,far away. A country unknown to some people. Like one of my colleagues says "Have fun in Sri Lanka". I told her my vacation will be this summer and not during easter. Well,and after guessing Shanghai and other places starting with "S", i'm wondering what will be next. Simbabwe? Senegal? Slovenia? Well,the second letter is an "i".
It was an interesting month. Also one of the longest months when it comes to working. 23 work days i think. From now on it will be different. I will only have 8 regular work days in april. 5 days of seminar. And the rest is holidays. Ahh...wonderful. The last holidays until the most important holidays of my life. Sorry, Marit ;)
And now it's also spring time. Not bad actually. I want to enjoy the mild breeze outside,and be happy that there are no wasps or other annoying creatures out there yet. Strange how I see myself enjoying the season. Probably it's the case because I'm thankful in general. I could even be thankful that I live in the 21st century,that there are toilets, that there is a tv. Haha. Wow. But in the first place I'm grateful for what I call "the gift of love". I'm very lucky. And I really didn't think I would be able to find someone who understands me and has enough patience to tolerate me. But miracles happen and I'm going to give back what i get. I could go on for a while, but it's not easy to understand anyway. This whole story isn't even believable for me. It's just out of this earth. I won't ever get how it got this far,and how all these little coincidences made it happen.
April is supposed to be a good month. I want to make it a good one. But now I have to go to bed and cuddle with the blanket. *sighs*
Friday, March 31, 2006
Monday, March 13, 2006
Coming close to the ides of march
It's the middle of march already. Strange how fast everything goes. Yesterday was october....always remember october...
I'm in this strange situation where everything seems to work. The warning signs always go up when that happens. Like the silence before the storm. But I have faith in the things that happen right now. At the moment I book my journey for this summer,and everything looks good so far. I don't want to suspect anything bad,the people at the travel agency know what they're doing and i know what i want. The last months showed that from one day to the next,a lot of information can fall down on someone. It changes a lot of things. Somehow I just want to get everything ready for now and then i can't make a move back. There is some kind of risk,but i wouldn't call it risk. It's more like half a commitment,half a sacrifice. A chance to make something work,with money,time,investing feelings and lots of other things. If I get it all back the way i wish it would,then it's worth it. And i think that it can happen...it's not too much asked and i'm not naive. But of course i do expect something and I'm never quite sure if expecting something from someone else is always right. Life taught me to not leave things to other people,or at least to keep feelings or expectations low until i know i can dive into it with all the trust and faith needed. In this case, it's already too late to hold anything back. Can I ask for this to work or would it be foolish? Was I good enough or will I be punished for bad things i did? Can I just close my eyes and run into this no matter how i feel about it and just wish and pray it will go well? Not sure what the right attitude is,but it's like it doesn't make a difference whether i go about it and say "it's already clear,i'm the king of the world and i will get it all" or if i say "i'm so doubtful i don't know what will happen". Whatever i do,i know that i'm depending on this in the same way. This venture will change my life. To those of you who don't know what I'm talking about,you will know about it this summer... and it will leave its traces in my life forever.
Sounds like a good way to end this entry. But i need to add some things. I'm working on another blog project and i'll mention it soon. The other thing is,I highly recommend Marit's new album. Marit Larsen- Under the surface. So far only available in norway or online via credit card,but she's a great musician and if you don't agree then...then you just don't know her well enough. Haha.
I'm in this strange situation where everything seems to work. The warning signs always go up when that happens. Like the silence before the storm. But I have faith in the things that happen right now. At the moment I book my journey for this summer,and everything looks good so far. I don't want to suspect anything bad,the people at the travel agency know what they're doing and i know what i want. The last months showed that from one day to the next,a lot of information can fall down on someone. It changes a lot of things. Somehow I just want to get everything ready for now and then i can't make a move back. There is some kind of risk,but i wouldn't call it risk. It's more like half a commitment,half a sacrifice. A chance to make something work,with money,time,investing feelings and lots of other things. If I get it all back the way i wish it would,then it's worth it. And i think that it can happen...it's not too much asked and i'm not naive. But of course i do expect something and I'm never quite sure if expecting something from someone else is always right. Life taught me to not leave things to other people,or at least to keep feelings or expectations low until i know i can dive into it with all the trust and faith needed. In this case, it's already too late to hold anything back. Can I ask for this to work or would it be foolish? Was I good enough or will I be punished for bad things i did? Can I just close my eyes and run into this no matter how i feel about it and just wish and pray it will go well? Not sure what the right attitude is,but it's like it doesn't make a difference whether i go about it and say "it's already clear,i'm the king of the world and i will get it all" or if i say "i'm so doubtful i don't know what will happen". Whatever i do,i know that i'm depending on this in the same way. This venture will change my life. To those of you who don't know what I'm talking about,you will know about it this summer... and it will leave its traces in my life forever.
Sounds like a good way to end this entry. But i need to add some things. I'm working on another blog project and i'll mention it soon. The other thing is,I highly recommend Marit's new album. Marit Larsen- Under the surface. So far only available in norway or online via credit card,but she's a great musician and if you don't agree then...then you just don't know her well enough. Haha.
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