Then, when I notice the same patterns in the society I live in, it strikes me that maybe a lot of people are pathological in how they act.
For example: Sociopaths. These people are defined as individuals who lack the sense of empathy and understanding other people's emotions, fail to conform to social norms, lie and deceive, act recklessly, irresponsibly and in an impulsive manner, and show no remorse for their actions (among other symptoms).
Although it's stupid of me to assume I can tell a sociopath from a normal person without being a proper psychologist, there are instances when I just notice how egoistic and careless people are.
- A woman stops her car because of a red traffic light, but the car is standing right in the way of all the pedestrians who want to cross the street. All of these conformists need to walk around the car. What does that woman do? Having a nice conversation and laughing her ass off. No remorse, no empathy, no shame or embarrassment.
- A woman is sitting down on the bench at the bus stop where my lady and me are already sitting, waiting for the bus. She takes a seat right next to us and starts smoking a cigarette. No compassion, no remorse, no attempt to imagine how we might feel about it.
- People on the bus hearing loud music or screaming into their phones, or having irritating ringtones that keep ringing every 2 minutes.
These are only examples. There are many more cases like these.
What I notice again and again are these things:
- I can't recall our society having been that way when I was a child
- From my own upbringing, I would rather be swallowed by a big hole in the ground than to cause other people this kind of discomfort
- I am too adepted to being a good citizen than to speak up for myself, so I keep quiet and rather escape these situations than to confront the people who should adept better to us
- The more I see how this world is changing, the more I feel totally turned off by the idea of putting little babies into this world to suffer the cruelties that exist nowadays.
This world is harsh. The anti-social behaviour is getting worse and worse. Maybe I was brought up in a save environment and that's why I didn't notice these things before. But something DID change. For example, unemployment benefits. When I was young, receiving these benefits was an exception and you had to feel grateful to be saved from being a homeless person.
Nowadays, not only do people take long-term benefits for granted, they heavily insist on their rights and how people in the job agencies should not make demands. The turned around completely, from being grateful receivers to being demanding...bosses? As unemployed people?
This society, the German society, is going into the wrong direction. I never thought I would become one of the people who said we need stricter rules for foreigners, stricter rules for unemployed people and so on... because I was once naive and believed that being too strict will harm those who try to be good people but are just unlucky... unlucky to be war refugees from other countries, unlucky to be poor, unlucky to be unemployed.
But nowadays, these people are the minority. Those who cheat the system, exploit legal loop holes and insist on their rights (which are too many), are the majority. And we, the common people who were raised to be good citizens, have to pay the price... taxes and other social contributions. We carry the load so they can live a luxorious life.
It sickens me. And back to topic: They are sociopaths. No regrets, no remorse, no guilt, no shame, instead lots of lying, not caring about others and feeling good about it.
This has even corrupted me. I no longer care about how I could help our society. As long as -I- am okay, as long as -I- can increase my income, that's all I'm asking for. I have no desire to be a teacher, a helper, a social worker or anything like that. And maybe that's because playing fair holds no rewards. If you want to be on the winning team, you've got to be a cheater.