Tuesday, March 11, 2008

A story about God - by me

When God created humanity, He thought:"I will keep this simple". So he gave Adam and Eve a nice garden to hang around, and told them that they can pretty much do whatever they like."Just don't eat from that forbidden tree, yo! You hear me?"

It didn't work...they fucked up.

Then He thought:"Okay, what they need is clear guidelines". So He brought them the 10 commandments and hundreds of other rules, and told His followers to live a life according to all these rules. But in the end, it also didn't work out. They fucked up again.

Some years later, God thought:"I will try the nice way, since they seem to be a little annoyed and confused about all the rules. So I will just send some guy who is nice and has charisma, and also abolish some of the old rules. But I'll make it look like they are not abolished, but like they are just 'fulfilled' by how that dude does things differently". So he sent a guy called Jesus to bring the people a lot of friendship, peace and hippie love. They were supposed to become good believers by not following 'orders', but by being nice to each other and having a really good time.

Well... guess what? It didn't work, they even became worse, didn't follow any rules at all and felt totally free of any obligations because it was all about love and friendship anyway.... and who doesn't love his wife and his family?

So God became desperate and said:"Okay, they just wouldn't listen. This time I will let some guy do it the hard way. He will conquer the territory all over the place and kill everyone who doesn't believe in me. Then he will establish a state with me as the leader. They are asking for it". And so it happened. A lot of new rules were brought into place, strangely some of the old rules seemed to come back, while others didn't seem to have anything in common with any of the stuff that had been there before. The hippe days were also outdated and forgotten. But at least, there was some order and some people actually started to pay more attention to God (whether it's by free will or not depends on the person).

In the end, it also didn't really work so perfectly because some people took the whole thing much too seriously and ended up using violence all the time, forgetting about the fact that God had just been in a bad mood when He decided to do it this way. Things got much worse again. So God gave up. Legend has it that He still accepts people, but the problem is He doesn't show which way is the right one. For some reason, only really weird people claim to have talked to Him in person nowadays. Not like back then, when everyone who claimed this had a book written about himself.

What's going to happen next?