The problem with names! (part 3)

When there is a headline like the one to above this text (the red arrow pointing at it), you assume that it has to do with Michael Schumacher, because his nickname is visible there. This line says "Glock meets Schumi at the police (station)". Glock is another F1 driver, in case you have no clue what I'm talking about. So two formula one drivers meet at the police station. What did they do? What happened? I am curious to find out.

But before we click on the article, let's think about it... what could be wrong or misleading... hm... one option is that it's not Michael Schumacher but some other Schumacher, for example the guy who rides bikes for a living or Ralf Schumacher, Michael's brother whom we all know and love for his boring news. But one thing is clear, it really is a celebrity Schumacher, one that the media like to call "Schumi". If it was in any way not the real one, they would not address the person like that but use these things here: "..."
So in this line, it should say "Glock meets "Schumi" at police station" instead. Then you notice "okay, so it somehow has to do with Schumi, but it's not actually him, maybe this is still interesting to read". There would have been enough space for that.
But no, as professionals they can't take a risk here. So the real Glock is meeting the real Schumi at the police station, maybe for dangerous driving? Who knows. Let's click on it and...???
No... we got fucked again. Glock was real, the other one was just a police officer whose name is Michael Schumacher. What a poor guy. I mean, being called Michael as a first name is already difficult. Anyone who has that name and has to go to German schools for more than 10 years knows that. But that's just a stupid article I have to say. I mean, somehow it's funny because both Glock and """"Schumacher"""" thought that the other one was playing a stupid joke on them, but that's already okay that way and doesn't require us to read the article thinking it's the real Schumacher.


"Look, let me explain something to you. I'm not Mr. Lebowski. You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. That or His Dudeness... Duder... or El Duderino, if, you know, you're not into the whole brevity thing."

Happy without mathematics - is that possible?

Spelling and grammar are not T-online.de's best friends. And it's no surprise that mathematics are also not among the skills of the author of "Happy without sex - is that possible?", an article there.

How else could it be that this survey here says that, of all the people asked if they can imagine an affectionate relationship that involves cuddling but not sex, "more than a third (32.6 %)" answered accordingly?

You know, if 32.6 per cent is already "more than a third", then I seriously think they didn't ask everyone :p

Needless to say that t-online.de claims that all these people actually live without sex regardless of their answer that they could imagine living without sex - no specification about how long or under which circumstances, age group, gender, anything.

Ralf Schumacher and other stuff

The above picture has text next to it that is supposed to translate to "nobody believed me". But instead, it means "nobody believed with". It's just because of one tiny typo. Next time someone should read the shit again before letting millions of people read it. It's not a blog where they put it, it's one of the most visited pages in Germany.

And oh, yes... again news about Ralf Schumacher. Will he return to formula 1? Will he? I don't think so.

There was another article about him. What does it say? Well, it says some things, but none of them sound promising at all. He is in contact with a team called Stefan GP. But you know what the downside is? That team isn't even listed as one of the competitors of the 2010 season! It's one of the teams on a waiting list in case another team leaves for financial reasons. That's so poor and doesn't sound like a return to F1 at all. The last time I read about Ralf, it sounded like he had even turned down an offer from an active team, and was still bargaining with other teams.

Wow... let me just say this: Either the media or Ralf lie like idiots, or Ralf has the worst skills dealing with other teams, trying to get a contract. No idea how he can fuck up this hard. But what's even more annoying is that he now suddenly says that F1 is not a priority for him any more. Oh? Well, dear Ralf... if that's how you think about it, I don't see any reason why a team would accept you, unsuccessful brother of a legend, long retired driver in your mid 30s. Get out of the headlines!

It should also be noted that only 4 seats are available at this point. And only one of these seats belongs to an established team, the others are new teams still looking for drivers. And the new teams are desperate for drivers who not only don't cost money but also bring money into the team (sponsors). A russian driver who is also at least moderately competitive even offered 15 million dollars for entering F1. I would suggest that's another seat gone. Three seats left, and I don't see any of them being occupied by Ralf. What did I say the first time the topic came up? Yes... Ralf is not returning to F1, end of the story.