Saturday, August 30, 2008


Welcome to my 100th post! I will make it quick.

The following typos or mistakes were commited by my favourite website for spelling mistakes:

1. In an article about the weather, an expert said that as long as the days are longer than the nights, there is still hope for summer weather. In German, it would have been "Solange die Tage noch länger sind als die Nächte...". But instead, it said "Nächste", which means "next". But that doesn't make any sense at all, it's just a complete mistake. It's not even a typo because the letter "s" is not anywhere near the letters used for that word. That means that the writer was simply asleep or already with his brain on the way home.

2. A German football goalkeeper working in Austria was injured by fireworks during a match. In one article, he was called a former "Bundesligatrainer" instead of "Bundesligatorwart". So they made a former coach out of him instead of a former goalkeeper of the German first league. This time, it's again not a typo but another mindless mistake. A similar sounding word is used because the author only uses half of his brain to complete the article.

3. Another football-related article. A player has collapsed and almost died, and the comrades (Kameraden) achieve a victory in his name in the very same match. The only problem: The author of the article badly misspells "Kameraden" and turns it into "Kammerraden". Double "m" and double "r". This word makes no sense at all. I would like to assume that two keys got stuck on the keyboard at the same time, but that would be too nice. In this case it is simply a very, very bad understanding of our language. How can you even get a hold of such a job if you don't know how to spell such a word? I mean, one mistake in the word would be okay, but two mistakes make the word already so optically wrong that you -have to- realise that it's wrong. Didn't he struggle when typing the word? Was he in such a hurry?

Now I want to come back to the letter I mentioned the other day. You remember, I intended to write to my neighbours who like to have sex and arguments in the middle of the night with half-closed windows. Here is the letter (translated), I will just get straight the point:

Dear neighbours,

we are sorry to let you know that the standard of living has drastically changed since your arrival. [This place] is usually a relatively quiet area. However, it can lately be heard clearly how you argue loudly and then, also well-audibly, "exchange caresses", to put it mildly.

All of this happens in the middle of the night, sometimes in the evening, in any case easy to hear since your windows are half-open.

Now, unfortunately some people have to get up early in the morning. That is of course a little unusual to think of at first glance, but the reason is that these people have to work for their money. Apart from that, many people also have their windows open due to the summer-like temperatures, which is a right to everyone.

In your case you will have to keep the windows shut, at least for your nocturnal activities. However, we additionally ask you to be a little more quiet, because with the sound level up to now, not even double bullet-proof glass could prevent us from waking up.

Maybe all of this will even be to your advantage. Because when you tell your partner that you are angry, you can save yourself a lot of screaming around for the rest of the conversation. That gives the vocal cords a rest and makes it possible to concentrate on solving problems rather than throwing things at each other, only to drown them in a a five-minute mini orgy afterwards.

We expect that sensibility and discretion will win and hope for a good neighbourhood. Thank you very much and all the best!

Your sleepless neighbours

Note: Since I put the letter at their door in the middle of a night, it has been more quiet. They still like to make kitchen noise, but at least I don't hear any grunting or any more or arguments. But my personal theory is that habit makes people forget things easily. Habit is stronger than anything else.

There are more things to mention, especially stories on the bus, but I don't know how to put all of this in one entry and I fear that the number of readers decreases dramatically if I do. I will save it for later then. I would have liked a more glorious 100th post, maybe also with private greetings, but it has to be okay like this. I will collect more stupidity in the future. Farewell.

Friday, August 08, 2008

They did it again

Last night my neighbours repeated the same things they did the other day. First there was a huge argument, 5 minutes after midnight, that ended in shattered dishes. While they were arguing, their windows were open and they didn't seem to care that the rest of the world was listening.

When it stopped, I could not sleep for more than an hour. I was half angry, half shocked, half unbelieving that people so stupid can even exist. And I also expected them to have their typical make up sex that always seems to come after an argument. And yes, that happened, too. Not one hour, but 1 hour and 45 minutes later. This time it almost seemed that their windows were closed, but I could still hear all the noises. Again, it didn't last long, only ridiculous 5 minutes or less.

I don't know how to describe how they make me feel. Somehow I am shocked and disgusted that this is how a relationship sometimes works. They argue like crazy, all the time, then they have their standardised 5 minutes sex, then the world is okay again. And one or two nights later, it all starts again. A relationship as grey and full of routine as the most boring job in the world.

I will write a letter to them. I figured that it's useless to make it sound angry, and it's useless to make it sound threatening. Both will be ignored. I think I will write it in a satirical way so that I can still smile about it in a while, and it's also nice to pay back for all the shit they put me through. You have to keep in mind, it was Friday, and I have to go to work, dammit! Maybe they don't have to go to work because the state feeds them, but I have to get up early, yeah.

I also bought a book today. The title is "Generation doof" which would translate "Generation dumb" and it's a very nice book so far full of anecdotes of people who are just totally stupid. It describes the whole generation of people who were badly raised, who don't know anything, and who do the weirdest things that are so damn stupid. It's great.

So I guess my next entry will be this letter. We will see. In any case it will be the 100th post of this blog, a blog that has turned into a site that fights against the stupidity in this world. Never stop complaining because the worst is yet to come.

Sunday, August 03, 2008

My neighbours had sex

This is the second post within 24 hours, and I actually wanted to write this in the middle of last night already.

What happened last night was outrageous and something that can only happen nowadays. Not in the 80s, not in the 90s, no, it happens these days now that people who were raised in the worst way are old enough to live in an apartment of their own.

Last night I woke up for the first time when it was about half past 1am. My window was half open, so I could hear what was going on outside. I heard a couple arguing in a very loud way. It was totally clear, so I could easily notice that their windows must have been open or half open too. It took a while, but a long while, until they finally stopped arguing. This was the second time at least that I noticed that, but the first time in the damn middle of the night.

The worst was yet to come. Because I woke up about one hour later, and while I woke up from strange dreams, I was already thinking "what am I dreaming here?". But I was not dreaming, it was the noise from outside again! And I can tell you, what I heard was even too much for me. All this moaning and screaming in a pleasent way. But it was not pleasent for me, rather "pukative" to describe how it made me feel awkward. Okay, they had sex, very loud sex. And it only lasted for about a pathetic 5 minutes. But again it was outrageous how they have sex at quarter to three in the night with windows open.

It makes me feel sick. I even had a bad feeling when I imagined what such a marriage must be like. Uoorgh! Disgusting. Can't they at least keep all the stuff that goes on inside their house? Do I have to hear all that?

This morning my mum told me that it's not the first time they had sex that was clearly hearable. It even happens in the evening sometimes, when people still walk around outside. They obviously have sex about three times a week. And there are also times when this woman has guests and she laughs all over the city with her crazy laughter. I don't know what these people look like but I bet they are the most typical, stereotypical people.

There are only two logical conclusions to be made about them. Either: They do not care the slightest bit about being heard when they argue or have wild, crazy sex. Or: They are totally clueless and brain-amputated about the fact that they -CAN- be heard. Which one is more likely?

Do you realise the strange resemblance? The deja vu? Yes, I actually talked about these kind of people before. They either don't give a damn or they have no idea. It goes for people who drive cars, parents who don't care about their children, people on the bus, people on the street, everyone! And it's a whole generation of badly-raised idiots! One day there will be so many of them that the ones who are now right will not be right any more, instead they will be a minority that will be considered "stuck up and nerdy". Or something like that.

I hope that it will stop some day. It is summer now, so I have no desire to not open the window at night, because I need fresh air. But one thing I promise is that I will not argue or have wild sex with open doors, unless I live in a big, big villa far away from the rest of the world. And I'm not going to live in such a place. These idiots neither, unless they win the lottery. With their low IQ nothing else can make them rich.

Wow... can't believe it has to come this far. Up to now, I have only complained about stuff that's rather usual. But this is not normal any more. Do I really have to discuss the sexual life of other people now just to get my deserved sleep? How do I make them stop? Do I really have to talk to them? We don't even know how they are called, where their door is or where to place a letter for them. Can they even read? Which words do I use? Coitus? No... too intellectual. I have to write it down in a very straight forward way if I do. n a house next door, they don't live in the very same building that we live in! Can you imagine how many buildings are capable of receiving these noises?

And just to make it clear: They don't live in our house, they live next door. In a different building. And it can be heard from all the buildings around.

Well anyway, just to let you know: I had to live here for 12 years to ever experience that!

Saturday, August 02, 2008


When I came home from my first day of the new job training, something embarrassing happened that was just a typical bus story again.

I had not been on this bus line before, at least not since ages ago. When the bus arrived where I wanted to get off, there were three possible areas where it could stop. And that was the problem because it's not possible to tell which bus stop is the right one, so you basically wait until the bus stops and try to hit the "open" button.
The bus came to a halt and one person entered the bus already, so I figured that this would be the right moment to get off. Two people (a couple) were in front of me, holding on to the pole where the "open" button is. I thought they either don't want to get off or they are too stupid to push the damn button, so I walked around them, squeezed myself between them and the door and pushed the button like crazy. Only after nothing happened and I asked them like an idiot "doesn't it usually stop here?" they told me that this is not where the bus stops. The only reason the bus stopped was because the driver welcomed another driver to the bus!

Yeah... how could I have known that? I mean, it already happens to people when the bus stops in the middle of the road just because of a red traffic light. But this WAS a bus stop, AND someone even entered the bus there! So I had enough clues to think that the driver just didn't open the damn door. I'm just so happy I didn't scream "HELLLOOOO!" all over the bus.

You see how embarrassing it can get. And "Hello!" is just the right introduction of the old topic again. People who can't stop saying "Hello" everywhere. Sometimes people greet each other on the street, but who they greet is someone walking directly behind you! So someone you totally don't know walks at you, looks into your eyes and says "what? you here? Hiiiii!" and you are already starting to talk to them, putting your arms up or something like that. Then you find out they are referring to someone behind you. Ouch!

Or on the bus. You are daydreaming, possibly thinking about the day of work that's ahead of you, and some idiot walks by you and screams "HELLLLOOOOO!" or "Hello? Hello?". And THEN you find out they are talking into a cell phone. Argh!

The most amazing thing again is the ignorance of those who are in the center of the world in that moment. Not the slightest imagination of how other people might feel bothered. And the ones who don't even want to have anything to do with it, they have to duck and hope afterwards that nobody saw them when they made an idiot of themselves by responding in any way.