Monday, October 17, 2005

New beginning with zerø creativity

I thought about some things that might help me solve the problem. But it's not certain if it will really be helpful. The first thing is,i have to stop writing lyrics until i have the feeling i really have an idea. Then there are other ways to go about it. I can take someone else's lyrics and try to make a song out of it,and then replace the lyrics by my own when i know the melody (makes it easier to write). Or i take a couple of chords and try to sing a melody out of it,which makes me avoid the melody problem, coz i've been hitting the same notes on the keyboard when i tried to write melodies. Writing melodies on the guitar won't work,i suck at the guitar. The fact that i have a dust-collecting guitar since 2002 doesn't excuse this. I really can't do anything with a guitar.

What else is possible...
-Buy a new instrument
-Try to get inspired in my dreams
-Get drugs (i won't)
-Get drunk (i won't)
-Travel (not yet,no money)
-Get out,meet friends, get involved into social life,do crazy things (that's not me)
-Frame Marit's autograph and put it on the wall,in hopeful awaiting of inspiration coming from the words and the paper touched by Marit (possible but not probable)

If it makes me angry to write a song,then i will throw everything away and do something more enjoyable but less meaningful. I know how to waste my life,i'm an expert at this. My life requires new methods,and the golden rule is,when life is good,then you're in a creative crisis. When you're in a midlife or quarterlife crises, you are a genius at music.

Okay. So i'm too happy. I won't complain.

What else is there to report. Nothing i suppose. I don't have to talk about my walk in the woods that i did the other day. Nothing happened. And i don't have to talk about what happened with my online friends,you can read it in their blogs. And i don't have to talk about anything else either,nothing big seems to happen. The only thing i can say now is,life can be so boring that the ticking of the new clock i got is so penetrating it feels like an earthquake. So this is how it feels. It's good that i have to go to work again tomorrow,my ass hurts and i think it will have to be amputated if nothing happens soon. Now you see how exciting my life really is.

And just so you know,yesterday i was depressed just because of this songwriting and the following chain reaction. I get too much into thinking,and the result isn't good at all. But I must say it's nice to get some encouragement from ppl. Of course only useful encouragement.

What i have to do in the next days and week is to find a way out of my stagnation at a high level. Ahhh... i don't know how to make useful sentences any more. I will quickly press the button to publish this before i delete it all. *Sighs*


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Baya said...

If writing a song demands oh so much trouble, why doing it? Do you really think the profies need to think so hard on where to start a song?

If it makes me angry to write a song,then i will throw everything away and do something more enjoyable but less meaningful.

Oh my. Do you really think music is a meaningful thing and nothing else is? Do you really think there's nothing as meaningful? Hm.

You talk about depressions way too much. You should get rid of that. Otherwise you'll never be happy. Trust me, i know a guy who's 36, and still so very messed up. Being a wuss and doing constant self pittying is hard and demands a lot from you. You're still young, don't let it happen.

Face your fears. Accept the life's rules- life is hard, you gotta work hard to get where you need to. Nothing will just fall on you. You gotta earn it. And you gotta think positive. Not hanging on something and when that falls through, get all weak and depressed. That isn't the way to hapiness.

Mighty Mike said...

I never said that writing songs is the ONLY meaningful thing,did I? I only said that, when i stop writing songs,i don't do anything meaningful coz the other things i do are just time-killers.
And you also have to know that i'm not as depressed as you might think. I don't self-pity myself all day. My only problem is that i think a lot...i wouldn't even say that i think too much. I have more doubts about life,yeah. But the only logical consequence for me is to sort everything out. I don't want to be someone who doesn't care,or someone who just says "it's gonna be alright" and then runs into the next disaster. I'm a realist more than a pessimist. Maybe you don't understand that, but I am how i am. And you really get a wrong image by my posts i assume,so that's not your fault. I write things down that worry me,and i don't write about things that are great...they don't have to be discussed in my blog. I'm a lot happier than i used to, that's for sure. For me,happiness comes when i don't only feel that something is right,but i also know that something is right. Before that happens,i have to deal with the bad things...and sometimes get angry about something too.