I'm careful with expectations for 2006. Anything could happen,for best to worst. I know very well that it depends on what I do. It's my responsibility. If I make myself guilty of a crime,then I might get a punishment that I even deserve.
This will confuse some people now. But it's something I had to learn. A lesson. There is something I did that was against my own values. I hid behind the values of others who would say that it's perfectly normal. But as soon as I act against my own morals,I already sin. Then I can't justify what I did in front of another person coz I would lie.
I'm not sure what the punishment is for my crime. The laws aren't written down for this delict. I only hope my judge will be merciful.
a perfect transition to Kafka. I read "the trial" and it was interesting. A young man gets accused of a crime that he doesn't know of,and he doesn't feel guilty. He tries to get a hang of the court, the offices that have to do with his case,the judges,lawyers and advisors,everyone who has to do with it. He tries to understand what everything is about-and before he knows what he is accused of,he gets executed. Typically bizarre,typical for Kafka.
The next story by him that I read is "in the penal colony". It's about a terrible machine that is used to execute prisoners in the most cruel way imaginable. The first pages already show the hopelessness. A traveller becomes the visitor of such an execution,and he doesn't feel good about what he sees. He feels like he should protest against the execution of a man,but at the same time he doesn't feel allowed to interfere,coz he's a stranger,comes from a different country,is totally new,has no right to critisize the conditions. Whatever he does or not does can only be wrong.
And here we are in my situation again. At least I have a way out...or not?
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