Stuck in limbo

Man, life is really annoying right now.

I notice that something is wrong with my neurotransmitters. I'm constantly unhappy, easily angry, often stressed out and never satisfied. At the same time, I'm trying to lose weight, which seemed so much easier a couple of months ago.

When I go home from work everyday at 11:30 (I'm a part time worker), people say "man, wish I had your life". Then I wonder: why is it that everyone feels this way but I can't even be happy about it, even though I KNOW that I'm lucky?

I'm walking through a goal-less and meaningless life right now. I make video game achievements and saving money my priorities so that I have anything to live for. The bad thing is that the video game achievements are shallow and without long-term reward, and saving money doesn't work because life always takes money away anyway. Crazy dentist costs, unexpected bills, being screwed over financially, wasting money because you can't find time to look for cheaper contracts. Whatever I do, I've been stuck at my current balance for a year now.

I would like to be happier. I don't want to say "I'll be happy later" or "I'll be happy as soon as X happens". I know it doesn't work that way.

Other people seem to be happy. At least they have this ability of laughing when small things are good, pleasing or funny. It takes me more things to enjoy myself.

I still get thoughts like "I'm falling back into a depression" sometimes. I can't escape it completely, I guess.

Sometimes I keep a "to do" list, but I can't work all these things off because I'm suffocating with the daily tasks. Too much time is wasted doing housework or paperwork or paying off another bill and stuff.

I also waste too much time with the cheap thrills I need. I need youtube and video games. No longer do I have a hobby. I'm tired all the time and not interested in doing anything. My weekends are so boring that I do housework to keep myself busy and get the workload done for the week. I would rather do housework on weekends because I'm bored and I prefer having more time to myself when I get home from work.

What would have to change to make things better?

• I need to go to a doctor and get my amino acids checked. More money down the drain, but I'm tired of conventional "take this pill" medicine. It's on my list of things to do, but I lack courage to explain myself.
• I need to get some long-term "things to do" done so that I can return to a life where I don't stand in my own way.
• I need to lose weight to the point where I can finally focus on healthy nutrition without having to constantly anger myself over too little weight loss
• I need balance... just don't know how to feel more balanced. But I've been wanting to really be alone for a couple of weeks. When people speak of this "lonely island" and what to take there, it always sounds like an emergency situation. But I really want to go there.

The only good thing I take from my current situation is a very strong confirmation that having kids is not ever going to work for me. I'm too overwhelmed with life as it is. I'm not even that much attached to life. Even though I might be pessimistic about my parenting abilities, and can't speak of experience, I know in my heart that not ever having kids is the right thing, the "rightest" thing to do. It really, really wouldn't be a good idea otherwise. But it still makes me furious to imagine that I would have to justify myself in front of family members.

Unbelievable coincidences

I have a tendency to be paranoid. Sometimes I think that things that happen to me are so unlikely that, if I was insane, it would be understandable if I really believed that someone is setting me up.

I know that it's not real. There isn't REALLY someone trying to mess with me, like a Truman Show or something. But I keep making these sarcastic remarks about when weird stuff happens because it IS really weird.

In short, unlikely and unbelievable things happen that just seem as if they are there to annoy and outrage me.

For example: Today, I wanted to write in my other blog. For each blog post, I need a picture, and I already had a picture in my phone. The thing is: In order to move that picture from my phone to my PC, I have to do all sorts of things. I could either use a cable (but before that, I need to remove the outer casing etc.), or I could send the picture to myself from my email and then access the picture from my email again on the PC.

It sounds like a stone age way of accessing a picture, and that's because it is. My PC doesn't have blue tooth and all that shit. I think there should be an easy way nowadays, but apparantly, not yet.

Well, let's fast forward a little: Usually, sending myself a picture like that is possible, even though it's tedious and annoying. But today, it got worse. I sent myself the picture without a problem: I opened my yahoo mail app, sent the picture to the same yahoo mail account, then opened yahoo mail on my PC's internet. The email arrived with the attachment, but yahoo mail is so slow that it simply didn't open the mail.

I thought: "Hmmm... maybe the internet connection is weak". But no, the internet on other pages worked fine. I googled the problem and found out that many people have problems with yahoo mail because "yahoo mail has 1000 scripts running in the background". I agree with that assumption because I noticed this before. The problem is: I have many important things running on yahoo mail. Not only all of my private and professional contacts, also some of my accounts like Amazon run with this email. So in order to change my email address, not only would I have to let everyone know, I would have to make sure I also change my email account with all the logins I have for other websites!

Back to the main issue: I tried sending the picture to myself on ANOTHER email account I have, this time with Gmail. Gmail is totally different, loads quickly and doesn't take ages. The problem here was that when I tried to download the picture on my PC, the download only STARTED, but NEVER completed. It was at one point stuck at 1,7 MB out of 2,3 MB, another time at 2,0 MB out of 2,3 MB. Whenever I tried, the download always "got stuck" at some point and I had to cancel.

So, let's recap: 

• Because my technology is super old, I have to resort to ridiculous means of tranferring a picture from my phone to my PC, both of which are centimeters apart from each other
• Using a cable is too difficult because my phone has protective casing around it, I can't remove the card, I can promise you that I would scratch the phone screen to death
• Sending an email to myself is the only option, however...
• 2 SEPARATE email accounts fail to provide me with the file because either, the mails can't be opened or the download doesn't work in the most "almost there" way possible
• We are talking about 2,3 MB!!! In the year 2017!!! That is so embarrassing that I even blush and feel ashamed for my own PC.

This drives me insane, especially when you consider that getting that picture is just a very small part of writing that blog post. It's not even worth mentioning. It's as if I want to leave a house, drive a car to the petrol station and refuel it, but when I try to leave the house, I get stuck in the doorway because.... some technicality... Some urgent repair in the stairway or something. Then I try to jump out the window, but the window won't open, even though it used to open just fine. And the same with all the windows.

Yeah... that kind of analogy. Oh yeah, and one of the windows ALMOST opens, but just to the point where I can't squeeze through.

So... yeah, I get the idea, if I really believe that someone wants to annoy me, I can go straight to the mental hospital. But at the same time, I have to somehow be content with the fact that this is just a REALLLLLY strange way of life that I have with REALLLLLY strange and unusual things that keep on happening again and again. I could write a book with all the strange, unusual, unfair and unbelievable things that happen.

And I'm not talking about things that just happen without a reason and don't ask for suspicion. For example, on the way to Singapore, I missed the connecting flight and was stuck in Switzerland. The consequences were unpleasent. I lost the seat reservation for the next flight, was stuck in the middle seat, couldn't sit next to my wife, had to stay at a hotel, didn't sleep much. But here is the thing: I ACCEPT that this is a normal incident. It's not extremely unusual. Some things happen. Missing a flight, or missing the bus, or having ONE thing at a time go wrong, doesn't make me paranoid. What MAKES me paranoid is when several things happen at the same time that LOOK LIKE they are scripted reality. When things that go wrong look orchestrated... to the point where, even if I try different things, it's NOT SUPPOSED to work out for me.

Just to make it clear: I don't mind bad luck once in a while. But it should be realistic. Singular occurences, not chain reactions of things going as if to screw over my plans. It's really a bad sign when I think about my own life as "this is unrealistic".

Today, the message was: YOU DO NOT WRITE THAT BLOG ARTICLE. I got it... and gave up for today.

Escalator People

When you find yourself on the magically moving stairs of an escalator, you don't want the situation to escalate (get it? escalate? because it's an escalator? Lol... I'm so awesome).

However, here are some idiots you will encounter in real life who turn your relaxing times of effortless movement into some serious stair wars.

Escalator People

#1 The Sneeze Master


The bible said it best when it said "may he who is free of sneezing cast the first stone". People everywhere sneeze, especially in the western world where everyone has to be clean and germ-free, and as soon as germs appear, everyone's defense is totally down and unprepared.

The sneeze master is a person who will sneeze in all directions while standing on the escalator stairs. What is the worst scenario for you? Slowly drifting into the sneeze cloud a person in front of you created, or not knowing whether someone from behind sneezed onto you or held his hand in front of his face. Either way, you will spend the next hours of your life wondering if your head is full of crap (not from the inside, on the outside) - until you find a sink to wash your whole head.

#2 The complete moron

This is the kind of person who always stands on the wrong side of the escalator. In most civilized countries, there will be a side for people standing and a side for people walking along the escalator. If the escalator is crowded, no problem. If you can't move, you can't move. But some people seem to make it their hobby to just stand there, wrong side of the escalator, and chill.

These people are dreamers who are completely carefree of everything that happens around them. There is only one excuse, although this excuse applies only to some people...it's the...

#3 The Traveller

The traveller has an excuse for standing on the wrong side of the escalator stairs. He or she is used to standing on the other side. It's the same as with road traffic. Some cars drive on the right side, some on the left (also known as the wrong side, because it's the opposite of the right side).

Escalator people who would like to just stand are supposed to stand on the normal driving side. It's just the general side of all traffic, whether it's by car or by foot. If you drive on the left side of the road, you also walk or cycle on the left side, and if you're slow, you stay on that side and let others overtake on the other side.

Travellers are not complete morons (see item #2). The main difference between complete morons and travellers is that travellers cause stress to themselves more than anything else. They will often recognize their mistake, turn red and explode with embarrassment, while complete morons just don't care.

#4 The Safety Fanatic

Do you ever notice how some people get on the stairs of the escalator, but their movement is as clumsy and careful as you'd imagine an elephant getting on the escalator for the first time?

It looks like this: Foot reaches out for stairs, then pulls back, then goes back out again, then the rest of the body follows in a very hectic and unbalanced fashion.

The safety fanatic looks like a village person who has never been on a train, car or plane before. The worst part is that they disrupt the flow. And they confuse you. If you think the person in front of you is taking the usual step forward, you might even bump into them because they like to leave an EXTRA space in front of them free. Extra extra, not just one empty step in between them and the person in front of them. No. Two empty steps.

#5 The Creep

The creep is a person who doesn't leave ANY space free. He or she (no, actually mostly he) will enter the escalator so damn close to you that you can usually feel his facial textures on your butt. It also raises your pickpocket alarm because their body parts will be all over your belongings because they are just standing so close to you that everything you OWN is in some way being touched by this person.

On another note, you can sense their breath, smell, obesity, whatever else there is.

#6 The Inseparable Couple

When I talk about people in public, I often refer to some kind of "blood clot", and this one is certainly the one in terms of escalator people. An inseparable couple is when a man and woman (boy and girl, girl and girl, boy and boy, transgender and nongender, bla bla bla) are standing next to each other.

Standing next to each other on an escalator is not a bad thing as long as one of the following criteria are met:

• The escalator is crowded anyway
• The person standing on the "no standing" side is staying alert and moving out of the way if necessary
• The escalator is situated in a place that doesn't need people to be in a hurry

Usually, however, the typical scenario is that the couple doesn't care. The two people are either so much in love, or so involved in a conversation, or so self-centered that they just accept that blocking other people's way is part of life. And I hate them.


#7 The Awkward Companion


Sometimes, when the escalator is crowded, people stand next to each other. Usually, that's tolerable, but sometimes, the escalator isn't even fully crowded and still, strange people are standing next to you. A catholic nun might be standing next to a punk rocker, a pedophile priest might be standing next to a little child, a drunk football fan might be standing next to a millionaire golfer, and so on.

It's just awkward when people stop walking and decide to wait NEXT TO YOU on an otherwise relatively empty escalator. I guess some people just enjoy the awkward company.

#8 The Wrong-Way Walker

Believe it or not, there are people who decide to walk up a down-moving escalator. In about 90 per cent of the cases, it's children who think they're really smart.

Sometimes, it's grown adults. Once at an airport, where the escalators are flat, there was a grown woman coming towards me, and I was wondering why. I was really, really wondering why. It was so damn obvious that my feet were not moving, yet she was totally focussed on getting on the escalator line that I was moving on towards her. It was only when her feet already touched the line that she realised that this was a worse idea than moonwalking the floor next to the machinery. So she eventually got it and walked past on the normal floor.

#9 The Staircase Competitor

This one isn't especially annoying, but I'll include him anyway. Some people are so much in a hurry that they would rather take the stairs because it's quicker than taking the escalator next to it.

While this is often the case, it's also relatively funny to see someone struggle so hard to get up the stairs, yet when we both arrive on the next level, we're still next to each other and the other person is out of breath. Pretty, pointless, huh?

#10 The Irresponsible Acrobatic

One of my favorites. This person likes to use things that are forbidden on an elevator. Like bycicles, or especially lovely, a pram with a baby in it. Lovely. Then they have to keep the balance and perform all kinds of acrobatics. The great thing is that, while it goes well most of the time, there is probably a certain percentage of fatal freak accidents every year, but I don't really wanna know.


So...which idiotic escalator person are you?

Total Confusion

Currently my life is a mess. I have lost track of almost everything that is important. I have two bank accounts, one of which I need to close, and in order to do so, I need to move all the in and outs of the account into the other. I also need to change the PIN because I can't remember two PINs.

I have lots of documents lying around. I can't remember how to log into the online banking because of the two accounts. I'm so confused with passwords and PINs I think I might need a PIN for my passport.

Then there is shit I wanted to do a year ago, like open a message board for my commercial blog. Haven't done that and all the comments from half a year ago until now are unprocessed (not public, not denied, nothing) so people must be wondering what's wrong.

I've lost track of everything to the point where I might even forget very important things. Even to-do lists keep piling up.

The problem is: I can't breathe. I'm so stuck with everyday housework like ironing that I can't get the "one time tasks" done.

It's not that I don't have time. I have plenty of it. But I'm exhausted to the point where I don't WANT to do anything any more. When I get home (which is around 1pm already), I can be glad if I can get ONE small thing done, like taking out the trash.

I don't know what exactly the problem is. It started getting impossible about a year ago when we had a water leak in our house and we were moving from one place to another at the same time. It was just too much stress, and since then I've always been in the "just get me out of here" mode. Not referring to the place. I'm referring to the situation of wanting to be past something... getting it behind me without having to do anything anymore.

It's like I have a mountain to climb, but I don't even know where to start. I also notice a phenomenon called "vom Hundertsten ins Tausendste kommen", which roughly means that when you say or do something, you divert or digress into smaller and smaller things.

A fictional example to explain this: I want to take out the trash. A task so simple. But then, I notice that I'm out of bags. So I need to go to the grocery where they sell bags. But then it rains and I need to spend 10 minutes looking for an umbrella. Then I notice I'm out of money and need to withdraw cash. Then I notice the ATM broke down. Etc. etc.

This is what life feels like. It is especially terrible when I want to cook, because then I need to clean stuff, find stuff, sort stuff, and then I can basically tear my own stomach out before I can eat.

Going on vacation only temporarily helps... in fact, I think the whole planning makes things worse, because you find yourself doing more and more paperwork, tasks and chores.

Bye.

10 Reasons Why The Moon Religion Is Not Compatible With Western Societies

The following article is about a fictitious religion. Any similarities with real religions are purely coincidental. Don't come to my house to kill me.

The moon religion and its prophet Moe [insert redundant phrase of respect] are well known throughout the world. In recent years, moonists have been placed in a victim role after terrorist acts commited by moonists caused lots of resentments and hate of non-moonists towards moonists in general. This automatism has spread to the point that whenever a moonist terrorist attack occurs, the first thing politicians do is make sure that people "do not generalize/discriminate against moonists". It's not even about the dead people any more, it's first and foremost about the feelings and the peace of mind of members of the religion in whose name the attack is carried out.

But let's not talk about the bad T-word (terrorism). There are plenty of reasons apart from this very controversial subject why the moon religion is not compatible with western values. It is important to point out these problems because if we only think about terrorism, all moonists have to do is claim that "this has nothing to do with moonism" and quickly all critizism can be discarded. Which is what the media are trying to do!

Here are 10 reasons why we shouldn't let moonism off the hook:

Hate towards the Star Religion

Of the three major (fictitious!) religions we are often talking about, the star religion has a lot of problems with the moon religion, not so much with the cross religion.

Many moonists hate the starists. They say that the starists deserved to die in the holocube when the evil moustache man came and gassed them. They say they are greedy people who can't even share their home land with moonists who claim its their home land. The world is just too small for some people to live together.
It's a very complicated subject and it would be wrong to come to much too quick conclusions. But the main point is that in the name of religion, people will always kill each other, even over a piece of "sacred" land.

Anyway, even though this is a regional conflict, moonists all over the world like to show very openly that they are star haters. And in a western society, that's unacceptable. That's why we have laws against hate towards moonists, or any religion for that matter. However, it's hard for crossists to point out the hate that moonists have, especially when the crossists feel guilty about the holocube and think they shouldn't be the ones judging over right and wrong... because they did things so horrible they never deserve to speak up again. Ever!

Hate towards homosexuals

Religions are very clear on the topic of homosexuality. That's why none of the major religions welcome any homosexuals. And homosexuals who think they can live in accordance with religion are just delusional. But that doesn't mean that they don't have the right to live freely. It's up to them what they do in their free time, as long as they don't disturb other people.

At least that's what we believe in the West. The problem is, what do we do if, say, a million moonists enter the country within a couple of months and bring their values with them? What if they suddenly don't like to see same-sex people kissing in the streets? Well, one thing is for sure, there is a lot of potential for trouble there.

On a different note: Pity those poor people who happen to be born into the moon religion and turn out to be gay, only to be stuck between being gay and being an acceptable believer in the eyes of the family.

Hate towards people leaving the religion

Just like other items on this list, moonism technically has a death sentence for apostacy. The death penalty is only not carried out in some societies because of (secular) laws made by non-moonist governments. We can be happy for that. But it's not necessary to kill someone over leaving the religion anyway. Most people who have found out that moonism isn't for them aren't going to leave the religion with a bang anyway.

The consequences would be dire. Being disowned, never speaking to your family ever again, being outcast. There are enough ways to make people just...fit in and pretend.

However, if people ever make a big deal out of leaving the religion, it can cause severe problems. That's another reason why moonism is not compatible with western societies. Because western societies have freedom of religion and freedom of speech, and that implies that you are free to say what you believe in and what you no longer believe in.

No individualism

This one is a little more abstract, and not everyone notices it. But it's a major point and a big difference between crossism and moonism. The big prophet and saviour of the cross religion, his name is Jay Jay, said something along the lines of: "You can only go to heaven through me, and it's something between you and me only, yo!".

Crossists believe not only in a personal relationship between them and the supernatural, they also think it's a one-on-one thing. It's only each person indiviudally. In moonism, however, it's always a clan thing or a family thing. You are responsible for your children, for their deeds, their sins. Or if you see a brother, sister (member of your faith) do wrong, you must correct them or you are also sinful.

This clashes heavily with individualism in the west. We believe that everyone is responsible for their own actions, and we also accept that anyone could be right or wrong about their religion. But moonists constantly feel like they need to correct everyone's behaviour and put a stop to whatever is wrong. Constant nagging, constant facebook posts about who is more righteous, yada yada.

I know someone from another country who kissed a girl (girl-on-girl action) and a moonist came by and called the police over it. Luckily they lived in a free western country, but you see what these moonists are capable of when they believe they are right...even in a western country!

Just imagine what else they are capable of!

No marriage between moonists and non-believers

A marriage or even a relationship between a moonist and a non-moonist is forbidden. As we have seen before, it doesn't matter if the moonist is actually practising their religion, because leaving the religion is forbidden. So if you're born a moonist (especially a female one), you can neither leave the religion without punishment nor marry someone outside your religion.

If you still stay in a relationship, you face the same consequences as the apostates, the other option is for the non-believer to join the religion, even against his will. In any case, this clashes with freedom of religion, freedom of speech and other things.

But when people love each other, sometimes they have to pick their poison.

Missing sense of democracy

Another big flaw in the moon religion is the missing ability to have a democratic society or to join one. Moonists have a very theocratic understanding of the world. The reason behind that is that, because they are so restrictive towards people leaving the religion, marrying outside religion or generally accepting people of other religions, they have a strongly embedded idea that "Elly knows best". Elly is their god, by the way.

This way of thinking usually translates into "we don't need people's opinions, god has already decided what is right". This leads to everything being carried out in the name of their religion, while other opinions, especially the ones disagreeing, are neglected or punished.

If a democracy is infiltrated by people who believe their god knows everything and should decide on everything, chaos follows. Sadly, you can't just "explain" why democracy is so important, because moonists usually don't know what it's like to suffer from surpression. Here are some examples: They don't know what its' like for moonist to be forced to join a different religion to get married to someone they love, because only they force it on other people. They don't know what it's like to get killed because you are a starist (because they aren't), they don't get punished for leaving their religion because they wouldn't even dream of it, and so on.

Democracy is the certainty that your values will be respected individually. However, if a large portion of people believe that your values don't matter because of a diety, then you can just forget about yourself.

Exploiting the trust of gullible crossists

Especially in the wake of refugee / migrant crisis, there is a very nasty, ugly face showing up. It's the face of moonists simply abusing the help of crossists. Crossists, who suffer from a double guilt complex due to the death of Jay Jay and the events of the holocube, will try to help everyone in need. They are masochistic in a way, doing everything they can to help other people to feel good about it, even if the helpees will spit in their faces afterwards.

The thing about moonism is, it says somewhere in the holy scripture that you should lie to, abuse and eploit the non-believers (called Coffee-r) whenever you can. Non-believers, the text goes on to say, are worth less than pigs.

What the crossists usually don't know is that the text actually says these things, and that the moonists in fact don't have a very positive opinion about their hosts. They just laugh at them and reap the (unemployment) benefits.

The drive for the afterlife

Crossists think of themselves as people who should serve others in order to come closer to Jay Jay, the prime example of a loving hippie. Starists believe in financial and other business-related success and diligence in order to do well for their society and make their god proud. Moonists...well...just want to die basically. Okay, that's a little exaggerated maybe. But their only purpose in life, it seems, is to bring as many babies into the world as possible, and everything else is just in god's hands anyway.

Are you going to be a successful person? Don't know, god will handle it. Will you be rich? Who cares, it's not up to me anyway. Will I be a respectable person or a criminal? Well, only God knows.

There is a reason why many moonists have poor education where I live. And no, it has nothing to do with genetics, that would be racist to think. But the upbringing of those people, along with the Koffee-r exploitation, goes a long way.

In the end, this life isn't good enough. They only care about the next life, so they take the victim role and get comfortable with it.

The bad position of the woman

If you read up on the literal texts of the main religions, they all don't seem to get along with women. However, it's not all about the texts, it's about how much people follow these texts. Sadly, when it comes to moonism, believers are still caught in the dark ages.

Women are exactly worth half as much as men. When a woman is in court, her testimony is only with 50 per cent of that of a man. If a woman is raped, she needs several male witnesses to confirm that a rape took place, if that's not followed then she is a whore. Sorry, just telling what it says there.

Now, in real life, it's often a lot more subtle. A woman should always follow her man, obey her man, little things like that. What it boils down to is that the woman is always the #2 person in the relationship. In western societies, that's not acceptable, but as long as women are stupid enough to let this happen to themselves, and as long as men can cite religious texts to validate that their violence against women is justified, everything is cool for moonists... at least the men.

The bottom line: No acceptance of western values

The bottom line of all my points is: Moonists can't live in the west unless they totally adapt. Even if we cross out terrorism, there are more than enough problems. Moonists, true moonists, don't accept western values. Freedom of speech, equality of men and women, freedom of religion, freedom of sexuality, all these things don't matter.

Those moonists who are tolerating towards other people are only tolerant to the extent in which they are forced to tolerate. Did you ever ask yourself how tolerant your moonist mother/father/cousin would actually be if they were tested? If they had one of their children leave the religion of the moon, marry outside the religion, become openly gay etc.?

I believe that you are either a moonist deep down or you're actually not a moonist at all. You're either a hardcore follower or you actually don't really believe these things, you just follow a rough guideline of what you think gives your life some sort of structure, but in reality you have long discarded everything that doesn't work with your sense of morality , even though it is written in the text.

But hey... I'm only talking fiction here. It's all cool.

Underworld Football Manager: Bessere Spieler

Ein deutscher Guide für Underworld Football Manager (Stand: März 2017)

Vorwort

Diese Anleitung soll euch helfen, sehr starke Spieler zu kriegen. Ich bin ein erfahrener Manager bei Underworld Football Manager, und ich war auch schon mal 4. in Liga A, weiß also, wovon ich rede.

Der Trick, um starke Spieler zu bekommen, ist, sie jung und auf niedrigem Level zu bekommen und dann schnell und radikal hochzuleveln!

Warum das so wichtig ist und wie alles funktioniert, seht ihr jetzt:

Wie man sehr gute Spieler bekommt

Damit ihr richtig starke Spieler bekommt (nicht nur vom Level her, sondern von den tatsächlichen Werten, z.B. Schusstechnik), müsst ihr die Spieler von Grund auf hoch trainieren!

Es hat sich gezeigt, dass es besser ist, Spieler mit niedrigem Level hoch zu pushen, als Spieler zu nehmen, die schon von Anfang an Level 25-30 sind.

Gleichzeitig sollen die Spieler so jung wie möglich sein. Am besten 17 Jahre alt, aber auch 18 und 19 ist noch okay.

Es gibt zwei Wege, um an solche Spieler zu kommen: Auktionshaus (da gibt es welche ab Level 10 bis 14, die sich lohnen) und auf dem Bolzplatz (da schon ab Level 1). Egal, wofür ihr euch entscheidet: Nehmt nicht die Spieler mit sehr hohem Level. Spieler größer als ca. Level 18 lohnen sich kaum, weil sie nicht optimiert sind. Mit anderen Worten: Hättet ihr die Spieler schon auf Level 1, 5 oder 10 bekommen, hätte ihr sie viel besser (=viel spezialisierter) trainieren können.

Welche Faktoren sind wichtig?

Früher war es wichtig, Spieler zu bekommen, die silber oder sogar gold waren... jetzt nicht mehr.

Wichtig ist nicht, ob ein Spieler Bronze, Silber, Gold oder so ist... sogar ohne Färbung können sie gut sein. Ihr könnt auch "schwache Spieler" nehmen und ihnen Items geben, damit sie Talent, Spielverständnis etc. bekommen. Folgende Faktoren spielen beim Hochleveln eine Rolle:

• Talent: Sehr wichtiger Wert. Entscheidet darüber, wie lange es dauert, bis ein Spieler zur Aufwertung braucht. Ich habe schon Talent 100 gesehen, aber alles größer als 50 ist ein guter Start.
• Labor: Genau dasselbe wie Talent, nur eben als allgemeines Gebäude, welches für alle Spieler gilt. Gutes Talent eines Spielers und guter Level eines Labors bedeutet maximale Geschwindigkeit beim Hochleveln
• Die Fähigkeit "Einzeltrainer" (Universität): Ein sehr wichtiger Faktor. Benutzt eure Fähigkeitspunkte in der Uni hierfür! Dadurch werden Spieler beim Hochleveln noch stärker, und das werdet ihr bei Level 30-40 ganz besonders brauchen!
• Alter: Je jünger ein Spieler ist, desto häufiger könnt ihr ihn hochleveln, bevor er älter und schwächer wird, was ab dem Alter von 30 Jahren leider passiert. Bei manchen Spielern lohnt es sich nicht, sie auf Level 40 zu bringen, wenn sie vorher schon zu alt werden! Denkt auch daran: Es gibt jetzt das Item "künstliches Herz", was ihr benutzen solltet, um sehr starke Spieler bei unter 30 Jahren zu halten (kann man aber nur zwei Mal pro Spieler machen)
• Bolzplatz-Level: Je höher euer Gebäudelevel beim Bolzplatz, desto mehr Talent haben die Spieler im Durchschnitt.

Wie bekomme ich die Spieler?

Früher war der effektivste Weg eine gute Agentur beim Bolzplatz. Damals konnte man noch Einfluss darauf nehmen, welchen Level die Spieler haben. Das ist jetzt nicht mehr so. Zwar geben die teuren Agenturen dort mehr Spieler, die silber oder gold sind, aber diese Spieler haben leider oft einen zu hohen Start-Level, so dass ich diese Agenturen überhaupt nicht mehr benutze. Sonst bringt es nichts, weil die Werte sehr schlecht sind im Vergleich zu selbst trainierten Spielern.

Ich bin inzwischen so weit, dass ich nur die billigsten 4-5 Agenturen im Bolzplatz benutze. Die Spieler dort haben bei mir zwar nur manchmal ein Talent von 45-65, aber damit kann ich gut arbeiten, wenn ich z.B. das Item "Ideenhut" aus dem Pfandleihhaus benutze. Diese Spieler kann ich schon auf Level 1 bekommen! Wichtig: Wenn ihr solche Items benutzt, dann gleich am Anfang, denn Items wie "Ideenhut" steigern den Wert am Anfang mehr (wenn die Spieler "braun" sind. Bei Bronze, Silber und Gold ist die Steigerung nur minimal).

Das Auktionshaus ist auch eine Möglichkeit. Man kann zwar keine Spieler ab Level 1-9 bekommen, sondern nur ab Level 10, aber manche dieser Spieler haben dann auch ein Talent von über 70, was schon sehr gut ist. Auch dir übrigen mentalen Werte sind sehr solide und es gibt mindestens Silber-Spieler.

Wichtig ist, dass ihr immer junge Spieler nimmt, also am besten 17-19 Jahre alt. Und bei der Auktion müsst ihr viel Geduld haben! Bietet nur mit, wenn ihr euch sicher seid, dass ihr genug Marken und genug Geld habt und dass ihr den Spieler wirklich wollt!

Was mache ich ganz konkret mit den Spielern?

Jetzt kommt der wichtigste Teil. Ihr müsst die Spieler zunächst spielen lassen. Am Anfang dauert es bei manchen Spielern nur ein einziges Spiel, bis sie bereit sind zum Level Up (Aufwertung). Je höher der Level wird, umso mehr Spiele muss ein Spieler dann machen.

WICHTIG: Bei jedem Spieler müsst ihr euch für einen Zielwert entscheiden, also ein Wert, den ihr IMMER erhöhen werdet. In Liga A wird dies meistens so umgesetzt:

• Torhüter werden IMMER in "Torwart" gestärkt
• Verteidiger werden IMMER in "Zweikampf" gestärkt
• Mittelfeldspieler und Stürmer werden IMMER in "Schusstechnik" gestärkt

Natürlich kann man auch andere Werte wählen (aber dann bitte konsequent dabei bleiben). Interessant ist auch, dass ihr zum Beispiel "Passen" noch stärker verbessern könnt, wenn ihr "Verteidigung" + "Strategie" kombiniert.

Wenn ihr also beim Aufwerten eurer Spieler die Fähigkeiten wählt, dann wählt zuerst die, die ihr IMMER nehmen wollt, und dann noch restliche Fähigkeiten, am besten so, dass die mentalen Werte (Fitness, Loyalität etc.) gleichmäßig hinterherkommen.

Warum ist es so wichtig, sich auf einen Wert zu konzentrieren?

Dafür gibt es zwei Gründe: 

1. Exponentielle Steigerung der Fähigkeiten, wenn die Spieler höhere Level erreichen (der Wert wird jedes Mal deutlich stärker als beim Level davor)

2. Die Gegenstände, die die Spieler tragen, steigern einzelne Werte um beispielsweise 30%. Es ist besser, einen GIGANTISCHEN Wert zu haben, und den um 6x30% zu steigern, als mehrere Schrottwerte mittelmäßig zu steigern. Vertraut mir einfach!

Es ist wichtig, weil die Werte immer exponentieller steigen. Am Anfang habt ihr vielleicht nur "+400", aber später wird daraus mal "+100.000" oder mehr. Das klappt aber nur dann gut, wenn ihr bei JEDEM Level-Up auf EINEN Wert setzt, der IMMER erhöht wird. IMMER!

Dazu kommt, dass der Wert, den ihr wählt, auch das passende Item haben muss. Wenn ihr Schusstechnik erhöhen wollt, dann sollte euer Spieler sehr viele Raketenschuhe tragen. Denn diese Items bringen eine prozentuale Verstärkung auf euren Basiswert!

Wie klappt das Hochleveln am schnellsten?

Wie schon gesagt, sind ein einigermaßen hohes Talent und ein gutes Labor hilfreich. Geht auf den Testspielplatz und spielt viele Spiele, wenn es nötig ist. Schaut euch auch viele Videos an, wenn ihr das müsst. Und wenn ihr keine Videos mehr gucken könnt, könnt ihr Gold einsetzen, damit ihr wieder Spiele habt. Der Trick hier: Wenn ihr nur 5 Testspielpunkte braucht, um die Testspielpunkte voll zu kriegen, kostet das nur 1 Gold!

Was ebenfalls hilft: Ihr könnt eure Spieler selber verletzen (mit einer LEICHTEN Verletzung), damit sie sich nicht schwer verletzen können. Dann können sie in dieser Zeit nicht ausfallen.

Wenn die Entwicklung im Labor läuft, überlegt euch, ob ihr Gold verwenden wollt, um die Entwicklung zu beschleunigen. Das lohnt sich aber nur manchmal, also seid clever!

Beispiel: Ihr wollt bald ins Bett gehen, der Spieler wäre in zwei Stunden bereit, um wieder zu spielen. Das Beschleunigen der Aufwertung kostet 2 Gold. Wenn ihr jetzt Gold einsetzt, könnt ihr schnell noch ein Level-Up schaffen. Während ihr schlaft, kann der Spieler also wieder stundenlang hochleveln!

Wie viele Spiele dauert es?

Ihr wollt wissen, wie viele Spiele euer Spieler braucht, bis er endlich wieder aufgewertet werden kann? Schaut euch den Ergebnisbildschirm eines Spiels an. Wenn ihr nach rechts wischt, könnt ihr weitere Bildschirme sehen, darunter auch einen, wo steht, wie viel Prozent der Spieler an Erfahrung bekommen hat.

Wenn er 50% bekommen hat, dauert es zwei Spiele bis zum Level Up. Wenn er 10% bekommen hat, 10 Spiele, wenn er 2% bekommt, ca. 50 Spiele. Daran könnt ihr in etwa abschätzen, wie bald das Level Up kommt.

Die 2. Mannschaft (B-Team) einsetzen

Es gibt in Underworld Football Manager ein Gebäude namens "2. Mannschaft" (B-Team), welches ihr benutzen könnt, um Spieler 24 Stunden lang wegzuschicken. Sie spielen dann im Hintergrund eine bestimmte Menge an spielen und sammeln Erfahrung.

Dieses Gebäude lohnt sich für euch im späteren Verlauf, wenn ihr eure jungen Spieler noch weiter fördern wollt. Irgendwo ab Level 25 (kann bei euch früher sein) dauert es extrem lange, bis ein Spieler hochgelevelt werden kann.

Die Faustformel ist: Wenn es länger dauert, die Spiele selbst zu spielen, die ein Spieler braucht, dann lieber das B-Team einsetzen. Wenn ihr also meint, es dauert euch mehr als 24 Stunden, dann schickt den Spieler einfach ins B-Team. Ihr könnt diese Strategie auch benutzen, wenn ihr wenig Zeit zum Spielen habt (Schule, Termine, etc.).

In Kombination mit dem vorherigen Tipp (ausrechnen, wie viele Spiele man braucht) kann man gut abschätzen, ob man selber spielen will oder den Spieler im B-Team lässt.

Was kann ich erwarten?

Schaut euch mal die Leute aus Liga A an. Achtet auf ihre Werte. Da kann Schusstechnik schon mal 100 Millionen haben. Euer Zeil sollte es sein, Spieler zu schaffen, die im Alter von Mitte 20 schon sehr hohe Werte haben, die in die Millionen gehen. Wenn eure Spieler dann noch auf Level 40 kommen, falls ihr so viel Geld habt, um das zu leisten, dann habt ihr bald ein richtig gutes Team!

Verschwendet euer Geld nicht auf Spieler, die zu alt ihre Karriere beginnen oder die nicht mehr lange gut spielen werden.

Ihr müsst auf jeden Fall die Zeit gut nutzen. Hochleveln, hochleveln, hochleveln. Wenn es geht, mehrmals täglich, später einmal täglich, und wenn es mit dem Hochleveln sehr lange dauert, ist euer Spieler hoffentlich schon da angelangt, wo ihr ihn haben sollt... im Bereich von Level 30-40, bevor er alt wird. Macht dies mit mehreren Spielern gleichzeitig und synchronisiert deren Fortschritte, so dass sie alle die Spiele gemeinsam nutzen können.

Es gibt sicher noch viele Tricks, die man hier nennen könnte, aber wenn ihr diese Tips hier beherzigt, seid ihr bald besser als die meisten in euer Liga.

Ein weiterer Tipp: Schaut mal auf mein Gelände (Kaiser Hannover) und schaut euch meine Anzeigetafel an. Ich spiele meine Testspiele immer gegen F.C. UGAO. Das ist ein menschlicher Spieler auf Level 209, der nicht mehr mitspielt. Die Spieler bekommen etwas mehr Erfahrung, als wenn man gegen Computer vom gleichen Level spielt. Es ist ein kleiner Unterschied, der aber auf Dauer viel ausmachen kann. Also wenn ihr ihn besiegen könnt, dann spielt gegen ihn.

Everything is out of control (life at the train station / headless chicken syndrome)

Yesterday I learned that the folks at the train station have less order and organisation than a pile of headless chickens.

I was waiting for my train. Usually, I'm there very early because the train stops at my station for a long time (it's both the end and starting point of the train route). To my surprise, the train didn't show up. It was very cold and I was freezing. Then, after the train was already supposed to leave the station again, but had not shown up at all, there was an announcement that the train would be "45 minutes" late!

Do you notice what's wrong here?

Imagine you are waiting at a train station for a train that usually shows up 20 minutes before its scheduled departure time. Imagine that train doesn't show up until the point when it's supposed to leave for the next station. Now consider that it takes the personell of the train station until AFTER the train is supposed to go to informer customers that it will be 45 minutes late, and consider how much ahead of time they must have known this... I mean.... 45 minutes!

So I had wasted about 20 minutes of my life waiting for a train that, when I got to the station, was already hopelessly late. It was so late that it could have been brought to my attention the very second I set foot on the platform. But nope. Who cares about the fucking customer, right?

Then, all hell broke lose down at the main hall of the train station. The display boards were going crazy. Various trains had different delays, and my train had displays on that went from "30 minutes delay" to "70 minutes delay" to "45 minutes delay" to "train service ceased" in that order. Nobody knew what was happening, appearently. Everything is crazy.

At that point, I decided not to put any trust in trains on that day, because if the service people at the train station can't decide whether there will even be a train or not, I don't think they have the competence needed to bring me home.

So I went to the bus station and luckily found a bus that was going the right way. It only took me more than an hour extra to get home compared to what I had planned to take to get home. But hey, at least I didn't have to get a room in this crazy city to spend the night.

It is actually amazing to believe that people whose job it is to deal with delays are acting like headless chickens when things don't go as planned. I mean, all I need is a clear statement. Train is coming, yes or no, and if yes, when. If no, fine, I'll take the shitty bus home. Just don't make it a wheel of fortune kind of thing. It's not my job to find out IF I'm going to make it home, it's yours. You stupid massafassas....

Trump Is President And Everyone Loses Their Mind

Donald Trump is now officially president of the USA. And everyone here in Europe, especially in Germany, is losing their mind.

I can only laugh about it. When I compare Trump to the spineless politicians in Europe, people who can't even say a single sentence in proper English without embarrassing themselves to death, Trump looks way better because he knows he can speak with confidence and doesn't have to be afraid.

Politicians here come up with their conclusions of what "can't be done", and America isolating itself is one of the things that supposedly "can't be done". Well, first of all, why are you so sure it can't be done, and secondly, why do you keep insisting that it's bad for America, but you as Europeans are the ones that are shitting their pants?

Could it be that EUROPE is afraid of disadvantages, and that AMERICA might be the one to benefit from harsh trading laws?

See, I'm wondering who's in charge here. From what I hear, this whole "fear" is just an attempt to manipulate people's opinion. Because politicians here are scared that Europe will lose out on a lot of money, goods etc.

On another note, I would like to state clearly that Trump is not going to install death camps, create a nazi army or any bullshit like that. It's all hype. Even a considerable number of latinos voted for him, and why? Because they, of course, don't like to be associated with illegal immigrants.

This is the thing I keep thinking: Xenophobia only becomes a problem when immigrants as a whole are seen as a bad thing. This also happens in Germany. We have a lot of problems with so called refugees, but everyone who looks different has to suffer now. If you're a black university professor from Britain, people will look down on you because all they see is another guy who might rape a woman or scream "Allahu Fuck Y'all" and blow shit up.

I'm actually glad that Trump is president now. He may not be a good president, who knows, but at least he stands for a lot of values that are dying now. He is NOT politically correct, he does NOT want to shut his mouth about the dangers of religion X, and he does not want to tiptoe around topics of illegal immigration, terrorism etc.

In Germany, the taboo-isation is so complete that you're already a nazi if you talk about "terrorist X came as a refugee".

We can't have that any more. Germany is at the brink of disaster, and the reason is that they are so traumatised about their own history that they would rather run blindly into becoming an islamic state one day than to even slightly risk becoming a nazi empire (lol) again (despite being totally brainwashed into guilt in school). I'm not saying that either of these things is happening in the next couple of years, but the birth rates of immigrants of a certain religious background and all other people in Germany are speaking volumes... and birth rates go hand in hand with the education and indoctrination those kids get from their parents.

At least emigration is still an option 10 to 30 years down the road. But I don't expect to be welcomed with open arms like Germans welcomed those people.

Also: I remember being a child 20 years ago. And back then, it was all TOTALLY different. I know how fast society can change.

End Of Year Post 2016

2016 was not the worst year, but maybe the most tiring year I've had so far.

I'm at home now lying on the couch, and I feel completely tired, even though I have to pack some stuff for a trip.

I'm emotionally and mentally drained. I don't feel "christmassy" at all, not only because a stupid muslim terrorist killed people at a christmas market the other day.

I actually don't look forward to the next few trips. I'm wondering why I agreed to travel. It felt like a good idea, but now the last thing I just googled was about being married and having a solo trip, just wondering if that's a thing people do sometimes.

2016 was very exhausting because we moved from one city to another. It should not have been a big deal, but it turned out to be one.

Not only did moving remove me from the environment I was used to, which is okay, it also killed my passion for blogging. It doesn't feel like I have enough space, enough room, even though I have a room of my own now that I haven't used a single time so far!

I don't have the energy to finish setting up the new place. I'd rather just lie down. I'm very, very tired.

There are ideas in my head of things I could do if I had more energy. But I don't have that energy. What's even worse is that I have negative expectations. I expect to be scolded for "only" lying around and not doing housework. I don't expect understanding for why I feel so drained.

The weird thing is that I barely have any memories of the year 2016. I remember that I was in Singapore, although it feels like it could have been 2015 (which it was, as I was there last year too). Then I remember I was also in a couple of other cities, and my memories of these places are mixed. There were conflicts. Not everything was great.
But for the most part, a large chunk of 2016 was just bitten off my memory, and that's the time somewhere between May and November, when all these crazy things occurred that had to do with us moving from one place to the other. Because we had a water leak and the whole new apartment was flooded, it ruined the whole year. Not only did it cause a lot of work and stress, the stress led to bad feelings, anger and hurt.

So, 2016 was a year that only really had about 5 real months in it, the rest was only hard work and lots of energy drainage.

I'm very unhappy about life right now. And I can't get back on my feet. This is how 2016 ends for me.

Ultra Private Blogging

After years of blogging on this platform in a half-private, yet heavily censored way, I've come to the conclusion the I desperately need an ultra private blog.

There is no online aspect needed, but still it's a simple way and easier than the old-fashioned diary. I once got a diary as a gift when I was a boy, with a lock and all, but I just never started writing down thoughts, and I've often regretted that.

I'm this guy who needs to look back a lot and analyze what kind of thoughts were going through my head years ago. Not just to help my own memory, but also because scientists confirmed that memories are heavily distorted over time.

I'm also not happy about Going Home as a blog. I see it as a blog that's there for entertainment purposes. Some deep thoughts are in there somewhere, but I mostly look at the blog to laugh my ass off over funny things I wrote. But there were times when I was angry I couldn't just write down all the thoughts I had. Somehow, there has been self-censorship going on, mainly because there are people out there who might read this blog and I don't want them to, even though I'm keeping this platform open. There are especially critical thoughts on religion, for example, that I had to hold back. If certain people knew about these things, I might get a modern day version of being crucified.

As you can imagine, there are some much more personal thoughts than only religion. And when it comes to those, I don't just write them all down for everyone to read either. But I need a place where I can, because without such a place, it's all stored in the subconscious mind like a garage full of crap. And then, half a year after having a certain thought, experience or idea, I don't even remember if that happened, how it happened or if I'm just making things up.

Right now, my frustration level is very high. The only comforting thing is knowing that it's actually pretty normal for a guy in my situation to feel this way. The set of circumstances could be better, but the way things are now, my reaction is normal.

When I start private blogging, I'm going to set the blog to total privacy. On top of that, I'm going to register the blog somewhere totally different and not use any previously used email or anything like that. I can't let any paranoia get in the way now. I need to write down every detail of how I feel and what's on my mind. Even the stuff that "shouldn't" be there and that's disappointing for me to accept.

It's no different from having a real book as a diary, but typing is easier than writing and I also don't want these things to be restricted to a specific computer that might break down and lose all data. So why not a blog?

I might still dump a few crappy and useless thoughts on this unread blog here, too. But I won't bother putting content here that is cut in half due to concerns over who is reading this, or writing down things I have to modify to be not too revealing.

So... yeah. I guess I'll end this blog post with the most useful word in the english language: Whatever.

"Without further ado" IS further ado!

Do you notice when people, especially on Youtube, say "so without further ado, let's head right in..."?

They use that expression after a long introduction into their topic, as if to say that they are going to start talking about the REAL stuff finally.

Well, guess what? When you say "without further ado", that's already a filler I don't need! Instead, shut up and begin your topic already!

It's as if I gave you a long speech about what I'm going to discuss next, and then I say:

"...So without further ado, without torturing your nerves any more, without challenging your patience any longer, without driving you totally nuts about me prolonging this wonderful topic any longer, let me now, at this very, very wondrous moment, in which so many beautiful and exciting other things might occur, slowly, but very very surely, with total determination and extreme prejudice, move, walk, almost run towards this issue, this very issue I have been introducing you to, this issue that I want to now talk to you about, let it be here, let it be now, let it be this very time and place... here we go...yes... really" and then you start fucking talking.

Underworld Football Manager: Don't Be A Bidding Idiot

My guide for Underworld Football Manager has been a huge success. Today, I want to talk about the Talent Agency, especially why you should not be a "bidding idiot". I'll explain that in a moment. First, let's get some basics out of the way.

What is the Talent Agency good for?

The Talent Agency in Underworld Football Manager is a place where you can literally buy players. There are two things you need to be successful:

• You need enough money to buy a player
• You need enough bidding tokens to be the last bidder in the auction

There is no way of knowing how much money and how many tokens will be needed, as this is purely determined by how much a player is wanted by the people playing the game. If you're lucky (like I was once), you can get a nice silver player with one bidding if everyone else is asleep. But most of the time, you will be in a bidding war. During an auction, every token you use is gone, so be aware of that!

Should I use Talent Agency or Community Pitch?

This question depends on your preferences, but one thing can be clearly said: At some point in the game, you will have collected so many bidding tokens that it would simply be thrown away currency not to use them. Let's say you have never bidded before, and now you have 150 to 300 tokens, it's about time to use them! At the same time, if you also have 2 million dollars or more in your bank account, there is a decent chance you can get the player you want.

As for the Community Pitch: The good thing about it is that you don't have to fear competition. The players there will be only for you to sign. However, there are some things to consider:

• You will get random players for random positions
• You will have "misses" (agencies used with no player you want to sign at all)
• You will need the best and most expensive agencies if you want to be successful in the long run
• You have to keep using these agencies day in and day out and be willing to spend millions along the way

I think that the community pitch (especially with the final agency there) is a great tool. It's a bag of surprises, but once in a while you even get a gold player! You should use the Community Pitch when you want to sign good players in general, and not just one specific player for one specific position.

Now, let's focus on the Talent Agency, because at some point, you need a specific player!

Which player should I bid for?

One thing you should remember is that you can choose the exact player type and position that you want. Any position you want is okay. I personally like to buy players that are used for a large variety of formations, such as Central Forwards, Central Midfielders and Central Defenders.

I don't like buying Wing Strikers, as they only work for some formations, but that's my personal choice. You can stick to your 3-4-3 system if you like.

Here are some other factors to keep in mind:

• Talent: This value determines how quickly your player reaches a level up. If you combine this with a nicely developed Sports Lab, your player will boost through the levels like crazy as long as you have the money and budget points needed
• Loyalty: Especially when you approach Leagues D to A, you need loyalty. You can still develop that value over time, but if it's very low, you will not get it into the needed range (80 and beyond) to be safe from bribes
• Age: Don't underestimate the age of a player. A player at the age of 25 doesn't have a lot of time to level up. At age 30, he will become weak again already. Try to go as low as possible. I usually don't bid for players that are older than 20 years old. 19 is good, 18 is great, and 17 is just perfect!
• Starting level: You might think that a high level is good. But it depends. A high starting level is great if the stats are all nice, but it's also possible to get a high-talent, super young level 10 player. If he is silver, he still gets +2 stats for loyalty and other special values for each level up, so you can shape him any way you like and he will grow fast. Also, low level players sell at cheaper prices
• Gold or Silver: You have to choose whether you want to bid for ultra rare gold players or less rare but still special silver players. If you bid for gold players, the demand will be high and a gold player will cost millions of dollars. You must be sure that you actually CAN get the player, and many strong managers will bid against you! Silver players can still turn into gold players later in their career, so keep that in mind.

Now that we know these things, let's talk about the basic bidding process...

How does bidding work?

I roughly distinguish between three phases of bidding:

1. Orientation phase

In this phase, you bid for the player to "mark" it, so that you will see this player coloured in red or green whenever you enter the Talent Agency. You will be able to look at the player and see who else is interested. This phase is useful to get some information on the other people who want that player. Which level are they? Do they look rich? Which facilities do they have, especially Tournament Arena and Finance HQ, as they are a good sign of wealth. Use this phase to get an idea whether you even have a chance to win!

2. The "serious business" phase

This is the phase of bidding after the timer has initially run out. It is the time when everyone who has not bidded in the final minute or so is eliminated and only the final bidders are left. They can be three bidders, 5 bidders, maybe even 10 bidders or more.

This phase is extremely crucial. Up to this point, you should have spent only about 2 tokens, which is okay. Now, you can see who is serious about buying the player. Keep in mind: If there is a manager with a much higher level (20+ above yours), just give up! He is probably much richer and has more tokens!
If you are determined to stay in the bidding process, bid once per round so that you are qualified to the next round. Don't bid too often as you would waste tokens. If you are qualified, that's all you need to do. No need to be constantly in first position! Keep this up until there is only one opponent left.

3. The final phase

This is the phase when it's only you and one other person. There is one thing that's very important here, and I really wish more people would consider this: For some reason, all people I play against in this phase keep waiting until the end of each bidding round and only bid once per round. To me, that's bullshit! If it's only you and another player, you are not wasting any tokens if you just keep bidding against each other.

My advice here: Keep bidding against each other! It's already clear that both of you want the player, so just keep bidding back and forth between you two, that way it will be clear who is out of money / tokens after only some minutes. If you do this so slowly, it will take 45 minutes or more until one of you runs out! Ignore the rounds, just bid if you're not the highest bidder.

Don't be an idiot!

If you keep anything from this article in mind at all, please let it be this! I beg you!

1. Don't bid against someone who is at a much higher level! I have had bidding wars for hours against people half my level! This is so unnecessary because it is totally clear that I have much more money and tokens. Please have the courtesy, respect and dignity to give up, because it only costs you the initial few tokens (up to the "serious business" phase) and not 100 tokens or more. Don't keep bidding if you have a clue that the opponent has more money (for example, he has a well-developed Tournament Arena and a big Finance HQ).

2. Don't be a slow-ass bidder. If it's only you against one other person, be so nice and just bid the hell out of each other. Why would you wait until the end of the round to bid again? Just bid whenever the other one has bidded, as this is only between you and him / her. Let this be over quickly! Whoever runs out of money or tokens, loses. No need to drag it on.

3. Be determined: If you know that you have a respectable manager level, enough money and tokens, you should pull through. Never go into the final bidding phase if you are not sure about the player you want and the money and tokens you have. If you bid, and the competition can be beaten, then you must be willing to use every last token and every last dollar. This is how it's done!

If you need more advice on the game, return to my tutorial / guide / walkthrough on Underworld Football Manager!

The Bus Driver Is Not Your Information Desk

Nowadays, all you have to do in order to find your way to a desired place is to take your mobile phone, literally ask it where to get somewhere, and it will give you the result. Going somewhere has never been so easy. No maps made of paper needed.

But still, we live in a time when people love to rely on other people. I have been noticing this a lot lately. When I'm on the bus, it often happens that people enter and immediately ask the bus driver for directions. Don't get me wrong:

1. They are not asking for directions and leaving. They are asking for directions with the desire of taking that bus.
2. They are not asking for GENERAL directions or checking for specific bus stops. They already have their final destinations in mind and expect the bus driver to know every store and every company.

So, what happens is that someone enters, asks the bus driver a very specific question, and the bus driver is supposed to figure out the following things:

1. Which street does the desired building / company / sight belong to?
2. Which part of the city is that place?
3. Which bus stop is that nearest to?
4. Which bus is the right one to get there?

I find this almost offensive, for two reasons. Reason number one, that's not the bus driver's job. I'm often not so easy on bus drivers and many of my posts reflect that. But I think you gotta let it go here. Bus drivers should only be asked for bus stops... if they know the area, that's an extra bonus, not something you should expect.
Reason number two is: You are actually taking time away from the people on the bus. You as the person asking for directions may not be in a hurry, but I for instance need to transfer to another bus every day of my work week. So I need the bus to be on time. But the people who are asking take their time, even when they eventually leave the bus! They just slowly wander off like little ballarinas. Fuck them.

So that's my piece of advice: Get informed beforehand. Don't just walk around and expect the bus driver to solve the problem for you. It's okay to ask someone if you already have a very good idea of where you want to go, but with all the technology available today, don't be such an idiot please.

German Service Culture: "I'm getting my paycheck anyway"

When you look at German businesses, whether they are private, public or somewhere in between, you notice a disconnection between the staff and the company.

In other countries, I suppose, there is a sense of identification. You know that you're part of the company, that you represent the company, that you ARE the company. In Germany... not so much.

The most common, yet unspoken truth is: "I'm getting my money anyway".

This applies to all workers who simply "do their job" and get paid. The problem is that their work is almost in no way related to the success or failure of the company.

• The shelves in the grocery are half empty and important items are missing? Not my problem!
• A bus driver got sick and nobody informed the passengers waiting at the bus stops? Not my problem!
• Customers are leaving your shop and checking out the competition because they feel treated badly? Not my problem!

The relationship between people and their work is kind of weird. With all the labour laws in favour of employees, it's like you're married to your job, but you're not loving it. At the same time, the employer can't divorce you unless you steal silverware or something. Basically, you're doing what is necessary to stay in the job, to not get fired. Not more.

It's mostly different if the person who is serving you is also the person owning the business. He is the one who has to take responsibility for his actions. He can make tons of money or lose his home. HE CARES. Most of the time... sometimes. But simple employees? They will get their paycheck anyway. They work per hour, not per happy customer, per sold item, per success.

As long as this attitude doesn't change, the german service culture will still be labelled a "service desert".

Muslims And Gays: A False Alliance

It's a bad idea to demonstrate for something that's out to kill you.

At least that's what comes to mind when deluded people protest against islamophobia and homophobia at the same time.

In the wake of the recent attacks on a gay club in the USA (ignore all the France attacks for a second), many gay people held marches against all kinds of discrimination. By doing so, they achieved two jaw-dropping things at the same time: They turned Islam, one main cause of the disaster, into a victim of the crime, and showcased their desire to protect muslims from "Islamophobia" in favour of a colourful, diverse society - a kind of service that would not be mutual in most muslim-dominated countries!

Here is my problem. On the one hand, you have this:

source

On the other hand, you have this:

Source

Let's avoid the obvious objection: Yes, I know that most muslims won't kill a gay person, and not all islamic countries kill gay people, but the list is long and you can definitely say that gays don't have a great reputation among muslims. If you're a muslim, ask yourself how your family and friends would react if you told them you were gay. Would you still feel safe? Would you still feel free?

The western world always gets things wrong about Islam. They think that muslims are a surpressed minority that just wants to live in peace, and that all acts of terrorism are just a big, nasty misunderstanding.

The truth is that Islam has a very, very dark side that most people ignore or aren't even informed about. And that's very easy to accomplish because when looking at all the terrorist attacks in the name of Islam, it's easy to just focus on them and ignore underlying problems.

The basic formula is:

• Terrorism is the only problem of Islam
• Most muslims don't commit terrorist acts
• Therefore, islamic terrorism is not truely islamic
• Therefore: Islam is a religion of peace

Case closed.

But here are some MORE problems and I won't get tired of mentioning them:

• Islam has a big problem with gay people (death penalty, prison sentences, illegal status of being gay etc.)
• Islam does not allow apostacy (leaving Islam)
• Islam does not allow a marriage between a non-muslim male and a muslim (born) woman (imagine what kind of danger for social peace this holds in a Christian society)
• Islam has a big problem with Israel and the Jews
• Islam does not allow reformations, reinterpretations and the like
• Women are still being held back (they should not travel alone, should always obey the husband, become a birth-giving machine etc.)
• Islamic countries don't get SHIT done. They blame other countries for exploiting them, but they don't develop unless financed by oil that happens to be underground. Muslims account for an extremely small number of nobel prize winners!

Where I live, nobody talks about these problems much. All the attention goes into the old mantra of "it has nothing to do with Islam"... speaking about terrorism.

I learned a long time ago that, if there is a god, it's not the God of the bible, the quran or any other book we know today. Because such a God would have to be perfect. But this God isn't. There are not only extreme scientific inaccuracies, God is also very angry, thirsty for revenge and doesn't even get ONE clear message across that is free from "misunderstandings".

You can't have it both ways. Either Islam is a perfect message from a perfect being that can't be misunderstood, or it IS being misunderstood by some muslims and therefore God fucked up / doesn't exist.

Another thing that brings my piss to a boil is the fact that many muslims don't acknowledge the reality of islamic terrorism. They will either say that the offender is not a true muslim, because "muslims don't kill" (yeah right), or that it's some Jewish Illuminati USA Nazi conspiracy, where the terrorist is actually a mossad agent who tries to give Islam a bad name. Right.

You know, the thing is, maybe it would be easier to overcome these problems if muslims actually dared to question their religion, not necessarily to the point of giving it up, but just by throwing some thoughts around, getting into discussions, talking among OTHER muslims what is actually wrong here. Because at the end of the day, you guys don't want us white people to tell you what's right and wrong, right? You don't want us to set you right about your mistakes as if we were better than you.

So deal with it and sort your problems out. I don't even need to hear about it. I've seen and felt enough Islam and I'm actually a little tired and want to move on with my life now. I don't need to hear any more "Allahu Akbar" from you. Not when someone blows themselves up and not when someone sneezes. How would you feel when a Christian / Agnostic / Atheist sneezed and uttered the same words as a guy who just blew up a mosque? Would you tolerate it because that's what your multicultural worldview is?

Underworld Football Manager Guide / Walkthrough

Underworld Football Manager is a nice game you can play on your phone or tablet. Although it has quite some depth and complexity, I have not seen any guide or walkthrough about the game yet. So I decided to go ahead and give you my tips and tricks on how to do well in the game.

List of contents:

• What is the game about?
• How does the game work?
• Currencies used in Underworld Football Manager
• List of buildings and how important they are
• List of skills and how useful they are
• Different strategies you can use
• My top tips and tricks for you

What is the Game about?

Underworld Football Manager

Underworld Football Manager is a strategy game much like other manager simulations, with one key difference. While you only control the team, transfers and training in most other games, here you can also bribe opponents, injure players or shut down enemy buildings. This adds a whole new level to simulation and tycoon games.

How does the game work?

You start off with a very weak team full of "level one" players. All your buildings are also very small and undeveloped. You then try to earn a lot of experience, money and other currencies so that you can hire better players, train your existing players, expand your facilities and learn new skills.

When it comes to the game of football itself you can:

• Play friendly matches (exhibition matches)
• Play in cups (tournaments)
• Play in leagues

The more developed your facilities are and the better you perform, the better the prize money, experience points and so on.

On top of that, several in-game characters will ask you to complete quests. These elements of the game are voluntary but very crucial. Completing quests will get you very far in the game! Quests pop up very couple of minutes or hours and may include "injure player X", "beat team Y" or "level up 6 players".

When you play matches, you will either face an A.I. player (the ones with the blank face for a profile picture) or real human players (shadowy picture or facebook account picture). The matches don't have any gameplay footage, just live text on what's going on.

In order to make it far in the game, you will have to get used to the different currencies in the game. Every currency is good for something, so it's best to understand what they are for.

Currencies used in Underworld Football Manager

Here are all the currencies used in Underworld Football Manager. Before I start: You can decide how often you want to upgrade a facility. When I say that building is not that much worth for leveling up, I mean it's not good to level it up very often or very intensively. That does not mean that you should keep these buildings at level one. Just be aware that it may be good to bring some facilities to level 9 quickly, while others can wait and maybe stay at level 3 for a while. But ultimately, it's up to you. You can even decide to level up all buildings one at a time and keep them all on the same level, although I believe that's not very useful.

Experience Points / XP

You gain experience points for almost every action you perform in the game, from bribing or injuring a player, playing a match, most of all from completing a quest, achievement or from finishing a tournament or league.

Experience points are basically your ticket for gaining a level as a manager. When you gain a level as a manager, you are rewarded very handsomely with money, budget points, gifts and, most importantly, skill points.

Experience points are only a small part of what matters in Underground Football Manager, but you'll be very happy to gain levels quickly, as you will soon find out.

Money

It should be very obvious that money matters very much in every game that deals with economic aspects. This game is no exception.

Money lets you do the following things: Buy items, upgrade buildings, buy talented players in bidding wars, ask an agency to look for talents in the community pitch, and bring players to new levels with training.

If you run out of money, it's very difficult to keep moving. So it's wise to have a constant flow of money. There are several different sources of income, the most known is a building called "Finance HQ". This building literally makes money by the minute. How much money it makes depends on the level of the building. So if you want more money, upgrade the Finance HQ.

Another way to earn money is to score good positions in tournaments or in the league. Completing quests also helps. Exhibition matches also produce income, although not enough to survive.

Gold

Gold is the rarest and most precious currency in Underworld Football Manager. You can either buy it with real money through a transaction, or you earn it very slowly. You can get it as a reward sometimes or by pure luck with the wheel of fortune. Do not spend gold lightly as it is so rare.

Gold basically speeds up a lot of processes. Here are some examples:

• Immediately finish the injury time of a player
• Fill up the available exhibition matches immediately
• Finish the upgrading process of a building
• Finish leveling up a player

Gold can sometimes be traded in for other currencies. Gold is your shortcut in many situations that would otherwise require you to play the game longer. If you are in a hurry, you can use this currency, but like I said, be very careful with it. If you haven't played the game so much yet, better save the gold and use it only when you have fully understood which situations require gold to be spent.

Budget Points / "Green Cheese"

It is not enough to have a lot of money. Even if you have all the money in the world, you can't upgrade your buildings, hire players or level up players, unless you have budget points.

Budget points are a way of the game to make sure you don't just buy your way up in the game. You need to prove that you have been successful enough to improve your team or your facilities.

You earn budget points, sometimes called "Green Cheese", by completing quests, leveling up yourself as a manager through XP, Competing in tournaments and the league, and by accomplishing achievements such as "win X games" or "buy Y items". We will come to that later.

Many people struggle with Green Cheese. If you are in the early stages of the game, you will often come accross this problem. One tip I can give you is: Hire a bunch of low level players (level 1 to 3), then focus on improving your really good players, and fire every player that you think is worthless. You will get a refund on all player you fire, not only the budget points the initially cost you, but also the budget points gained through a level up. So don't be afraid to fire a player, you will get all the budget points back.

Manager Skill Points

You can only view your manager skill points when you visit the "University" in the game. Skill points are what you get for leveling up as a manager through XP. It is also possible to get skill points by completing certain achievements, but that's a rather uncommon situation.

When you gain skill points, you can use them to improve yourself as manager in various ways. You can increase the number of exhibition matches you can play, increase your ability to injure other players, improve the performance of your training and so on. This is one of the most valuable tools in the game. Always strive to become a better manager and use the skill points to gain an advantage! I will talk about this a little more later.

Exhibition Tokens

When you play exhibition matches, or friendly matches as they are called in real life, you need tokens. It's not very complicated. You get a token every about 20 to 30 minutes, and once your token bar in the "Exhibition Grounds" is full, you no longer get them unless you play matches. This is just to limit the number of matches you can play. Nothing special and nothing to worry about too much. It's just the way it is.

Talent Agency Tokens

Later on in the game, it is possible to get highly talented players in some kind of auction house, the "Talent Agency". To get really good players, you will need lots of cash. But money alone won't help. The number of times you can place a bid is limited by tokens. You get these tokens from the fortune wheel, as daily rewards or by buying them with gold. My advice is: Don't engage in bidding wars too often, better focus on players you really, really want, and be prepared to spend hundres of thousand of dollars for a good player. If you lose a bidding war, it's a waste of tokens. Only bid if you are totally determined to pull through.

Read more about the Talent Agency and bidding in my article Don't Be A Bidding Idiot.

List of buildings and how important they are

Buildings, or facilities, are used as a base for your team. There is no building that is totally useless, so don't think that you should neglect any of them completely. However, there are some buildings that might be more useful to you than others.

Also, there is no such thing as "the number one most important building". It depends totally on your style of playing. If you are more the kind of guy who wants a high level manager, the university may be more important. If money matters for you and your goals, then the Finance HQ ist of relevance. If you just want to level up players as quickly as possible, it's the Sports Lab. Here are all the facilities in Underworld Football Manager and how important they are.

Finance HQ

Effect: Produces Income (Money)

Sooner or later, you will want to level this thing up as it is your #1 source of income (until your tournaments produce even more money). The more you upgrade it, the higher the amount of money per minute is. The downside of this is that you may have to spend a lot of time on your phone or tablet, because there is a maximum amount of money that the Finance HQ can save. You constantly have to withdraw that money. To avoid this problem, use manager skill points to increase the maximum amount of money that the Finance HQ can hold.

University

Effect: Increases the amount of Experience Points gained (XP)

This was the facility I personally focussed on when I started the game. I realised that I wanted to get a lot of experience points, because experience equals level ups, and level ups equal skill points that can be used in the University.
The downside of having a quick level up as a manager is that "teams of your level" will soon be teams that are actually stronger than you. The reason for this is that while you level up quickly as a manager, your players may not be able to catch up with that. Other human players may spend more time on one manager level and improve their team first. But that's okay, because in the long run, you will be better off with all your skill points.
Whenever you feel that you are running out of budget points, check for your University because an upgrade can get you out of trouble.

Sports Lab

Effect: Makes players gain experience faster

The Sports Lab is the place where you put your players to improve. When a player has played a number of games and is ready to level up (his background is totally blue and he has an arrow next to him), you can go here and get him to the next level. This may take some minutes or hours based on the level.
People who invest in a much-improved Sports Lab have the advantage that their players will get stronger and stronger very quickly. You may have level 20 players when other people still have level 15 players.

The downside of this strategy may be that you are only leveling up bad players without real talent. On the other hand, this is one of the safest, easiest and most rewarding strategies, so don't feel discouraged if this is your idea of playing the game.
Also, if you spend lots of budget points upgrading this thing, but you don't have enough budget points later to upgrade your players, then the speed of upgrading your players doesn't help you much, so keep a balance.

Training Grounds

Effect: Improves the stats of your team by a certain percentage

You can think of your Training Grounds as some sort of boost or buff that will make your team stronger. Let's say your team has an overall shooting ability of 20000 points. Your Training Grounds may double that amount if they are well developed!

Training Grounds are great if you want to crush your oponents with pure team strength. The stats of the whole team are multiplied with the training ability of your Traning Grounds and the Training Talents aquired in University. A deadly combination.

The downside of this strategy might be that it's a little shortsighted if this is your only approach. You should try to also focus on actually making your players better (Sports Lab) and finding young talents that deserve to play matches (Community Pitch). In my opinion, the Training Grounds are great for later in the game when you have build some of the most important buildings listed above.

Tournament Arena

Effect: Unlocks new tournaments


You can enter a new tournament every day, as it consists only of 7 matches, with a match played every 2 hours. The better the tournaments are, the better the rewards are. The first tournaments only yield a crappy 10000 bucks or so, but later you can earn ten times more and it doesn't stop there.

What I also noticed is that higher level tournaments may not even have that many human players involved. If you are really lucky like me, you get to play only against NPCs. These computer teams will not be able to stop you and you can easily get a hundred thousand dollars or more!

In my opinion, improving the Tournament Arena is very useful every once in a while. The way I did it is this: Whenever I won a tournament, I improved the facility, then waited to win the next tournament, and so on. That way, you don't have to upgrade the facility all the time, and your trophies will look nice next to each other. A great income source by the way!

Having played this game for a while now, I believe the tournament arena is one of the most important places! Try to get really high, at least level 10-14, this will get you lots of rewards and you have a higher chance of encountering only NPCs than at the lower levels.

Pawn Shop

Effect: Unlocks new an better items

The Pawn Shop is a facility in Underground Football Manager that is most useful when you have a lot of money, so I advise you to only upgrade it very much when you think that you are swimming in money. It can be very useful if you want to manipulate matches. Vandalizing enemy buildings, bribing players, injuring players or giving improvement items to your own players is a lot of fun.

Just imagine that you can give an enemy player a car so he will score an own goal in the match against you! Wow!

Here is the downside though: The Pawn Shop will eat away a lot of your money, and all the effects are only temporary. Every bribe, every injury, even improvement items will wear off. You are basically spending money on things that will not have a long term effect. Therefore, it is wise to also invest in buildings that bring long term effects, like Sports Lab, Finance HQ and the like.

But if you are close to being promoted in the league, or you need to beat your next opponent to win the cup, then a quick bribe or a mass killing (just kidding) of enemy players will give you the best results you can hope for.

Villa

Effect: Reduces time needed to improve facilities

The villa is one of the most simplistic but also most overlooked buildings in the game. It allows you to improve buildings more quickly. When you progress in the game, you will soon find that some buildings need several real time days (!) to be built. So you might decide on a friday that you want to improve your Sports Lab, but it will take until Sunday afternoon until your building is finished and you can go on with the next building (only one building at a time is allowed).

The villa is a very prudent investment for people who know the like Underworld Football Manager and want to keep playing it for a while. If you don't know what to build next, build your villa! Then every building after that will be built faster!

The best buildings to combine this with is Finance HQ and University. You will need a lot of money (Finance HQ) and Budget Points (from leveling up) to build lots of facilities when the time in between is shorter.

Stadium

Effect: Increases player loyalty

This building only becomes important at later stages, when bribery is at its highest. At the same time, it's up to you whether you use a lot of money to improve this building or simply improve your player's loyalty when leveling up. A stadium at around level 10 should be enough for most people.

Talent Agency

Effect: Produces bidding tokens

The Talent Agency is that "auction house" kind of place where you can get highly developed players for money. It is very useful if you need a really good player without having to bring someone all the way up from, let's say, level 5 up to level 25. Also, all the players in the Talent Agency are in one way or another above average. All of them are either silver or gold players, which means they are much better than other players at that level.

The Talent Agency was changed in a recent patch and now produces bidding tokens instead of opportunities to see hidden talents. It's still a building I don't like because auctions are hard to win.

Read more: Don't Be A Bidding Idiot.

League Facility

Effect: Gives you a stronger home advantage in the league

The league facility is the place where all your league games take place. If it is really big, your stats will be stronger when you are playing at home. This gives you a bigger chance to be promoted to the next league, because your team will even be able to beat otherwise stronger teams.

I find this update quite useful as it is not as expensive as one might think, and it also don't take so much time. At the same time, it's still not the most important thing, but try to level it up once in a while, at least in order to stay in the same league.

Community Pitch

Effect: Lets you find new players at higher levels

Think of the Community Pitch as a small suburban pitch where young kids are playing. You get to scout these new players and pick the ones you think are really talented and fitting for your team.

I have to admit that I underestimated this facility in Underground Football Manager. So as a part of my guide / walkthrough, I have to correct that mistake.

At first, I thought that it would be best to get players at really low levels and then level them up myself (I would get a bonus for leveling them up). However, when you get higher level players in the Community Pitch, it is easier to distinguish bad players from super talented ones. And if your Community Pitch matches the level of your team players, you can pick up a player and directly use him in your next match!

Also, but this may just be a theory, when you find players from level 1 to 20, there is probably more of a chance to get a silver or gold player than when you just look for players ranged level 1 to 10. What do you think?

Hospital

Effect: Reduces injury time

I haven't upgraded my hospital much because I just accepted that injuries are a part of the sport. Players get injured, so live with it, move on and use some other players in your team.

However, when you have very special players in your team, winning or losing may depend on whether they can play or not. So perhaps it is good to keep the hospital in good shape. I personally think that you don't need to level up the hospital so much in the beginning, but if you notice that you lose games constantly because your best guys are out of action from injury, then this is the place to go.

Exhibition Grounds

Effect: Let's you earn more money through friendly matches

It's nice to earn a thousand bucks for a single match that only takes some seconds. The Exhibition Grounds are a source of income, although not a very big one. I can imagine that you can earn a lot more if you level this place up.

However, the main source of income should already be your Finance HQ. This place lets you earn 300, 400, 500 dollars, depending on how much you level it up. Why would you instead level up the Exhibition Grounds, which only gives you money when you play matches? I think this is one of the least useful places, leave it behind and only level it up if you want the achievement for leveling up all facilities.

Prison

Effect: Reduces prison time

You will end up in prison a lot when you play this game! Whenever you do something illegal, there is a chance you will get caught and grounded in prison. Therefore, it may be useful to improve that prison. For some weird logic, this will reduce your prison sentence. Just go with it.

Although it may make sense to reduce prison time at a later stage, your prison doesn't need your imidiate attention at the beginning of the game. Besides, if you have friends in the game, you will often be released from prison very quickly.

Police Station

Effect: Protects buildings from vandalism

Another facility that can be useful, but it doesn't need to be on a high level. Policemen help you protect your buildings from attacks by other players. I have 12 police officers at the moment, and I think that's more or less enough.

There are some reasons why you should hire enough police:

• Your Training Ground affects your stats very much, so players in tournaments or the league will try to pull it down
• Your League Facility may be brought down to minimize your home advantage in the league
• You may get a quest that says one of your facilities will be attacked and you should protect it

So I suggest you get at least 12 policemen or a little more. But you don't need much more until later in the game when you have enough time and money.

Museum

Effect: None (just for viewing)

The only building in Underworld Football Manager that you can't upgrade. But at the same time, it is also one of the most overlooked places. Here is why:

The Museum lays out all of the achievements you can unlock and have unlocked. It also shows how many more things you need to do to unlock the next level. Let's say you have won 50 matches. Next up, you have to win 100 matches, and so on.

Every time you unlock an achievement, you get money, green cheese, sometimes even manager experience points. Some of the achievements are very easy, but most people never look into the museum and therefore fail to realize that they can get something for free very quickly!

For example, there are high level players out there who have never in their life injured their own players, or locked down (quarantined) a city. However, you should try to not only achieve every achievement, but achieve it multiple times! That's how you get very far in the game and have resources left!

I will give you a few tips on some of the achievements later on. Keep reading.

B-Team

Effect: Allows for a second set of players to get experience

This facility in Underworld Football Manager has recently been introduced. Here, you can let young players grow up as well as old players get experience to catch up with the best players. This is very useful to keep all players at a high level in case someone gets injured or too old.

It is very useful because of the common dilemma that a young, talented player at a lower level doesn't become strong so quickly while an old player may be very strong but loses his abilities when growing older and older.

Make use of the B-Team, but if you only have a handful of young, talented players, fill the empty slots with Level 1 players. That's a good option for you.

List of skills and how useful they are

In this guide / walkthrough, I am dedicating a whole chapter to the manager skill points in the University. You should be wise and make good use of them. Just as with the facilities, some skills may be more useful to you than others, it all depends on how you play the game.

Manager - Number of exhibition tokens

Let's say you wake up in the morning and want to play a couple of exhibition matches, either to bring your players closer to a level up, or to complete a quest, or just to have fun. You will have a number of exhibition tokens that you can use, and once they are used up, it can take hours before all of them are recovered.

If you level up the "Manager" skill, you will get more exhibition tokens. More matches means a little more flexibility to the above mentioned possibilities. My advice is: Use some, but don't overdo it. I'm currently at 9 tokens at the start of the day, and that's enough.

Tycoon - Maximum amount of money in Finance HQ

This one is very useful, especially if you have to work and can only look at your tablet or phone during lunch break.

If you earn a lot of money after improving the Finance HQ, or if you want to pick up a lot of money after a long night's sleep, then the "Tycoon" skill is for you. Instead of just 3000 dollars, how about you pick up 5000 or 10000 dollars at a time? It's much better than having to pick up 3000 dollars and then resetting the cycle.

I am currently at 10000 dollars maximum, and I will keep improving this in the near future.

Coach - Bonus for each traning block

If you are the kind of player who like to focus on stat improvements at the Traning Facility, then the "Coach" skill is really important for you.

For every training block there is (maybe 7, maybe 10, maybe more), you get a higher percentage of how much your team stats are boosted. It's really all about the combination of the level of the Training Grounds, your team levels (Sports Lab) and this Coach skill. It's a triangle of success for people who like to focus on sports and less on the dirty side of Underworld Football Manager.

Medic - Reduce injury chance

It's a great thing that the hospital can reduce the time a player is injured. The "Medic" skill can reduce the chance of getting injured in the first place. And we're talking about regular injuries in matches here, not attacks.

This skill is useful and, in its initial stages, cheap to get. When you have a few spare skill points, using them here won't be wrong.

Scholar - Increase skill points per level

This skill goes very well with the overall strategy of wanting to improve the manager level. When you invest a lot of money in the University, also use some skill points for "Scholar", as it will give you more skill points later on. In the long run, you will be more competitive, get more skills than other players quicker, and beat them that way.

Hitman - Attack success chance

Many quests require you to attack an opponent. And this skill helps you succeed. You should invest some points here regularly, especially if you love the pawn shop and the idea of being a bad guy!

Guardian - Protect players and facilities from harm

If you are often under attack (players and buildings), use "Guardian" to reduce the chance of being successfully attacked. Bribes are not included here, though!

Although this skill is useful, I personally like to invest points in other things, but for the first few levels, if you have spare points, you can also use them here.

Merchant - Make items cheaper

Items are very expensive, especially the ones for bribery or long term injury. Some quests require bribery in Underworld Football Manager, injury is also often mentioned. It is clever to reduce the price of items in the Pawn Shop.

If you are a very frequent user of the shop, use this skill!

Tactician - Enable more styles

Maybe you are playing against a team that's hard to beat and you want to go full defense. Maybe you have a lot of strong midfielders and not many strikers. Maybe you want to injure enemy players during a match because you have already weakened the team with items before the match.

Tactician can be useful because it gives you more options in the game. My advice is: Go to the Stadium and check out the yet to unlock styles. Do you find them useful? If so, see when you want to unlock them. If you feel they don't help you at all, don't bother. It's not a must have.

Headhunter - Unlock agencies in the community pitch

If you are willing to find your own young players and turn them into stars, and if you have a lot of money, but you don't like bidding, then go to the community pitch. If you also like to hire players from there on a regular basis, it's good to use a "Headhunter" skill. More agencies means better agencies, some will even drop silver or gold players.

To unleash the full effect of this skill, I suggest you have a strong Finance HQ that you often withdraw money from, have a well developed Community Pitch and you have the skill "Scout" as well for better attributes of these players.

Scout - Better attributes in the Community Pitch

At the beginning of the game, the Community Pitch is just a mud pit for young boys to play. But later on, some really fine players can be found there. They will often surpass your original players if you just train them hard enough to reach the same level as your older guys.

In order to add on to that effect, get the "Scout" skill. Players in the Community Pitch will now be even stronger than before, and, when they are at the level of your best players, will be better compared to them.

Personal Trainer - Bonus when leveling up a player

If you are like me and you don't mind getting cheap low level players and spending a lot of time getting them in shape, this skill is for you. The skill is also for you if you are a big fan of the Sports Lab.

In other words, if you are a fan of the pure and honest sport, then use this skill. Whenever you level up a player, the stats improvement will be significantly higher than before.

Agent - Better chance to scout a star player

This skill increases the probability of getting bronze, silver and gold players in the community pitch agencies. For example, if your chance of gettinge a bronze player is "B", it will be "B+" after leveling up this skill several times. However, you have to invest a lot of points to see the effect. This skill is for you if community pitches are your preferred way of getting new players.

Different strategies you can use

Next up I want to talk about different approaches to the game in this walkthrough of Underworld Football Manager.

As you may have seen in this very long and complex article, there are many things you can do, so some people will ask me in this guide: How do I even start? What should I do first?

There is not one universal answer, but depending on what kind of person you are, here are some different paths you may want to take. The titles are made up and have no meaning in the game.

Quick learner

Your idea: Leveling up as a manager, earning lots of manager skill points, then pulling the other facilities after you.

Your main goal here is to level up your manager, yourself in other words. You do this by improving your University first. Bring it all the way up to, let's say, level 8, as quickly as possible. You will need a good Finance HQ too, because all of this will cost money.

You also have to complete many quests, because quests give the most XP. Also check your Museum for easy to reach achievements, as they may also get you further in the game. Soon, you will realise that your manager level is very high while your players are still very bad. Now is the right time to bring the rest of the buildings up. Go for the Sports Lab and the other buildings, but first: Improve your Villa! You have enough green cheese and money to reduce the improvement time to a minimum, and let your friends help you with the upgrading to reduce even more time!

Team builder

Your idea: You are a true sports fan, football means everything to you. You don't care about money or politics, you just want to boost your team and get the best results!

This approach lets you focus mainly on two things: Sports Lab and Training Ground. The Sports Lab gives you an advantage in leveling up the players with high speed, while the Training Ground maximizes your stats even further!

With this strategy, you will win matches very early, even tournaments, and exhibition matches will be easy as pie for you, even against teams of higher level players. In the long run, you will even win the league.

Just be sure you also invest in techniques that get you better players, like the Community Pitch or the Talent Agency. You need good people because your original players won't be as talented as you hope.

Capitalist

Your idea: You know that money rules the world. Money alone won't make you happy, but it can buy you things that other people can only dream of. You have access to lots of things once money comes pouring in.

As a capitalist, you focus on your Finance HQ as well as your "Tycoon" skill. You collect money like crazy and improve buildings whenever you can. The success of your team is of secondary concern, because first it's about the money. Later on in the game, you can buy your way out of the misery and get extremely good players both from the Community Pitch and the Talent Agency, because nobody can bid as high as you!

These are just some examples. My advice to you is: Always check what currency you are lacking. If you are out of budget, get your University up. If you are out of money, get your Finance HQ up. If your team sucks, use Training Ground or Sports Lab. Always see what's most urgent to improve.

My top tips and tricks for you

Here are some of the most important tips and tricks I can give you. If you follow them, you will be very successful in Underworld Football Manager.

Talent is the most important player stat

It does not matter how loyal a player is, how much leadership he has or how intelligent he is, if he isn't talented. The most important player value is talent. Talent is an unchangeable value, which means that it never changes. If your player has a low talent, then even the Sports Lab won't help much because he won't develop quickly. But if he has a high talent, he will level up very quickly. Talent determines the speed of how quickly a player earns experience.

Here is what I consider bad and good talent:

• 0-20: Total crap: Get rid of this player and use someone else in his position
• 30-40: Average. Try to find a great talent here and only fire this player once a more talented player has reached his level.
• 50-60: Good. You can rely on this player. He will give you good results on a long term basis.
• 70+: Super talented. These guys are jewels for your team. Let them play as many matches as possible, always level them up whenever you can, always push them further. They will overtake all the other players will lesser talent and soon be several levels above normal players.

Players can improve over time

If you treat your players well, they may end up as silver or gold players one day. From what I understand about Underworld Football Manager, a bronze, silver or gold player is simply a player that is "above average" compared to other players. Maybe your player is not above average at level 5, but maybe, using the "Personal Trainer" skill, he will be a silver player one day. Give your players time to develop and take a close look on how quickly they level up compared to other players.

The talent value will be hidden for a long time, but at some point you will be able to see it. Until then, be very aware of your player improvement and make quick judgements based on how quickly these players reach new levels.

Never forget your Museum

I always cringe when I see that someone has never bribed a player, or never injured 10 of his own players, to get some of the easiest achievements in the game.

Always ask yourself: What is the easiest to reach achievement today? Where is the green bar furthest to the right?

I always try to reach achievements over and over. This is how I got thousands of budget points. Leveling up, doing quests and reaching achievements. Many players don't care about the museum and leave out a lot of rewards.

How to lock down cities easily for the achievement "lock down x cities"

Note: The term "lock down" has been replaced by "quarantine" in game. Locking down a city is when you injure so many players that the team has less than 8 healthy players. Injured players include every injury, even the ones from bananas. Many people find it hard to lock any city down, because it's hard to find the right victim, someone who has few players and is an easy target, and can even be found once you leave his city.

There is one very easy way to lock down cities quickly. At the beginning of the game, you have someone in your friend list who is not really a player but an A.I. player, a computer. His name is Chris, and he is level 3. He is the only computer you can have as a friend and the only computer whose team you can visit.

Go to his place, then attack his players one by one. Start off by using items that keep players injured long, let's say 1-3 hours. Attack only as many players as you can attack without going to prison. Then let your heat (the amount of red stars, police awareness) go down. Go back and attack his players again. At some point, use items that have short recovery time, like the banana. Once you have attacked many players, the city will be in lock down and you get the message that you can't attack any more players.

Now wait and watch his Hospital. Wait for any player to recover, then go to the Stadium and attack him again. Every time you do this, the city will be in lockdown again, over and over. You can quickly get numerous lockdowns that way and reach the achievement "lock down 1 city, 3 cities etc." several times.

I have almost locked down 100 cities that way and I've soon going to stop... 100 is enough.

Watch the age of your players

This won't be a problem for you if you are a beginner, but at some point, players will get weaker when they approach the age of 30 and beyond. Therefore, it is useful to look for especially young players below 20 years. That way, you get the maximum development out of your players before they get old.

Of course, stats and talent still come first.

Stay flexible and think ahead of time

Don't complain if you have too little green cheese (budget points). Whenever you lack a currency in the game, it means that you are doing something wrong. Always check which facility or action will help you get more money, budget, skill points etc.

Then, do the necessary steps to ensure that you will get more of that currency in the future.

Also, don't focus too much on short term success. It's better to invest in buildings that will improve your team tomorrow than to buy expensive items or agency players that soon lose their effect.

Have reliable friends and share gifts

You can have up to 30 friends, after that all your friend requests will remain unanswered. Try to invite people as friends who play the game a lot, and send them gifts every day!

When you send a gift, it doesn't cost you anything, but you will often get something back from the other person. Do this every day, and if another player doesn't pick up his gift for 3 days, get him off your friends list!

The best gift to give in my opinion is XP. You can't buy XY, so give it and show the other people that this is what you want. You will often get the same gift back.

Change stupid quests

Quests are automatically given by the computer. Some of them are very unrealistic, like trying to bribe a player that you clearly can't bribe, or injuring a player that is impossible to injure due to items.

Instead of doing the impossible, change the quest. This can be done one hour after accepting the quest. Don't be afraid to change a quest you hate or that would cost too much money to complete. You must have the courage to change a quest or else you will feel annoyed a lot.

Completing quests is important, but a part of that process includes knowing when to say no.

Always be in a tournament

It's easy to forget that tournaments need registration every time one has ended. Make it a habit to register for a new tournament every time you get the information which position you scored in the last one. Always register, and always go for good tournaments that give high rewards.

Use players in positions they can play in, but don't be too strict

A player who is a left midfielder should play in exactly that position, but don't be afraid to use him in the central midfield. From what I understand, intelligence is a value that determines how well he plays in other positions. Better use a level 15 left midfielder in the central midfield than a level 7 central midfielder.

Become bribery-resistant

At the later stages of the game, it becomes vital to be immune to bribes. A single league game that's lost can make the difference between winning or losing the whole league. What's the point of having a strong team if they don't follow your commands?

Always complete quests and get daily rewards

You may not realize this in the beginning, but budget points will be a huge issue at some point. Even if you have millions of dollars, budget points will be rare, and the higher a player level goes, the more "green cheese" it costs. For example, getting a player from level 36 to 37 has cost me 1000 budget points or more. So: Do your quests as often as possible, even if it's just for 6 to 30 budget points per quest. The numbers will add up and you will be happy later when you reach manager level 100 and beyond.

Recently, daily rewards have been added to Underworld Football Manager - so use these special quests to get even more rewards, including budget points and the also rare manager skill points. We didn't have these special quests until the August of 2016!

More ideas?

I hope you liked this walkthrough and found it helpful. This guide was created to give you and idea how to play Underworld Football manager and become better at it. Remember that it's supposed to be fun.

If you have any hidden tricks or tips that have not been mentioned here, feel free to post a comment.