Idealism, Identity And Purpose In Life

I just came to the realisation last night that there are a couple of things that define a person. Yes, this is another of my philosophical posts...

Usually, we live our lives in a seemingly stable way. It doesn't really seem like taking away or adding a few things might change a lot. We think we are strong and have a lot to live for.

But the question occured to me last night: How much does it really take to change a meaningful life to a meaningless life? Let's assume, for instance, that the three (four, five) most important things of my life were taken away from me - how much would this affect me?

• To some people, their profession means everything to them
• To some people, their relationship means everything to them
• To some people, their religion means everything to them
• To some people, their ideals and values mean everything to them
• To some people, their wealth means everything to them
• The list goes on...

And of course there are things in between. Some people will go into deep depression if a spouse or other family member dies, while there is still a perceived "10%" left somewhere else, for example in money or religion or perhaps another family member or friend. It could be anything.

The vast majority of people will not depend 100% on one thing. But it is likely that most of us, I assume, will depend on perhaps three or four things. If you take these away, suddenly life is not worth living any more, you might be surprised to find out. The house of cards collapses.

Right now, this is just a theory, but the thought has occured to me that I might be right about it.

If I had to define what the most important things in my life were, it's not even an easy question to answer. Not only do I have to define what means a lot to me, but also how I would react IF these things were taken away from me, to which I might actually react differently than I think I would.

But anyway, just for the sake of curiousity, let's assume that these are my three "things":

• My love relationship
• My ideals, the moral values that define me
• My financial security and accomodation

If you need one more thing, add health. Because you would be surprised how much things change for you when your health declines seriously.

The interesting thing about my life is that it doesn't need to feel special and still feels worth living. For example, I've been playing the same video game since 2010 although it's pretty pointless. But still, there are things that make me want to live. Just to give you an idea that my priorities and demands are not too extreme.

So let's assume that I lose my most important things... how will this affect me?

To be honest, I think that there isn't a lot that would keep me strong. In other words, I might lose my will to live.

Then again, if I only lose ONE of these things, does that mean that everything is still okay? No, I might be one third dead, for example. And losing two of three things makes you more dead than alive, I guess.

So recently, there has been a thing that's been bothering me. I would rather not mention it here because it's a forbidden topic, but it has to do with "my ideals, the moral values that define me".

I am not one of the people who define themselves mainly through their work, and I can also stay home most of the time and not lose my life's meaning at all. But when it comes to my values, I take much more pride in them than most people would be able to understand. I'm very idealistic deep inside and I can accept that nobody gets this.

At the moment, my values are under siege by a very dark force. It's trying to corrupt what I stand for. The dilemma is that I can't just defend the attack without losing something else in return. So whatever I do, there is a risk I lose something.

If I "sell" my values and make a joke out of myself, I will not be the same person any more.
It's ironic that "changing your name" is sometimes both a metaphor for and an actual part of losing your identity, but I digress...
Integrity is important to me: to not only believe, but to act according to my beliefs. When I watch the news, I want to be able to have my own opinion about the news and at the same time know that I LIVE my opinion, too.

We are not mere animals. Animals just live, follow their instincts, and do what is necessary to protect themselves and their species. They don't require a deeper meaning or agenda for their existence. But I do.

I have values. And if I give up my values, what am I then but an empty shell? Yes, I would still have a heartbeat, and I could still silently whisper to myself what I think, but I would know deep inside that I never even stood for my beliefs. And every time something unjust happened in this world, I would know that I couldn't be the one to make claims, because hey, I can't even follow the rules I set for myself.

My ideals define my identity. It's what makes me "me". I decided not to live for my job, not for a child, not for my country. But at least I want to be able to have my freedom and take pride in it.

If I lose my ideals, then I'm wondering what's even good enough any more. THIS is the reason why I can't sleep well at night.

This is a principle that people should be able to relate to. Here are examples for this:

• Why play a game that's so easy it bores you?
• Why turn on the computer if it only crashes?
• Why care for a pet that only bites you, is afraid of you and will never build a relationship with you?
• Why keep a job that only frustrates you?

I'm scratching the surface of some of these questions. I don't feel obliged to keep my empty shell functioning if it's only for the sake of other people - to make them believe I'm still okay, still a normal person, still willing to live.

Don't get me wrong: I CAN sell my values at a nice price. But there is a reason why there is the term "selling your soul". It really means something, and I don't even mean that in a religious sense.

Bus Driver People

Every once in a while, on February 1st, I come up with a "people list". This is a list of different persons that are, in some way, stereotypical. See my other lists: Bus People and Grocery People.

This year, it's again about bus people, but more specifically about bus drivers. Here are the stereotypes I have noticed in my years as a person using public transport.

1. The Asshole

Let's start off with the most charming of them all, the asshole. This guy is uniquely evil. While other bus drivers may just make a bad impression by leaving people behind who are a little late at the bus stop, or who didn't press the "stop" button in time, the asshole is amazing by being just extremely evil for the sake of it.

This kind of guy does a couple of things that define him, including:

• using impolite language ("get the hell away from the door" or stuff like that)
• making people pick up trash they didn't put there in the first place
• asking you to give him coins YOU found lying on the floor
• Splashing water from the road onto pedestrians that are walking on the sidewalk (on purpose)

There are more examples and if you ever think to yourself "what an asshole", then you know which category the bus driver fits in.

2. The Fat Ass

This guy is a couch potato on wheels. And a fat one at that. This guy is so fat, it makes you wonder how he even fits into his driver seat. The guy is so morbidly obese that you get a very uneasy feeling entering the bus. After all, you are putting your life into the hands of a person who might suffer a heart attack any time.

3. The "Don't Give A Shit" Guy

This guy only drives around in a car because that's what he gets paid for. He doesn't identify with what he does for a living, he doesn't even look at you when you show him your bus ticket, and if there are dozens of people entering through the back door (when it's the policy of the bus company to not allow that), he doesn't give a shit at all.

Usually you would think that this is not such a big problem. But when you are used to showing bus drivers tickets, and some of them don't even care to look, it can make you feel stupid. Especially when some bus drivers, as you will see now, are the exact opposite.

4. The Super Nerd

This guy takes his job way too seriously. He will never allow people at the back to ENTER the bus, thus forcing people who want to get off the bus to stay inside until all the people who were trying to enter at the back actually realised they will only get on the bus by walking past the bus driver at the front.

If people ever manage to sneak in at the back door, the nerdy driver will use his microphone to scream and shout and order that person to report at the front door.

This kind of bus driver will also check bus tickets very thoroughly, even to the point where he argues about price policies and how readable your signature on the ticket looks, or how the ink looks bad and all that stuff. Hard to explain but if you have been there, you know what I mean.

5. Punctual, no matter what

This driver has some nerdiness in his genes. He will be punctual like crazy. Sometimes even over-punctual which means that you are going to miss your bus because you were not at the bus stop 1 or 2 minutes before the time the bus was supposed to be there. Congratulations.

The driver will also never stop his bus for people who are late and waving with their hands like crazy. Even when someone wants to enter at a red traffic light, the driver will not allow that, partly because "it's against the rules", but mostly because he doesn't want to risk anything.

6. Late and doesn't care

The opposite of #5 is this type of vehicle maneuverist (just trying to come up with another word for bus driver).

Do you know what it's like when your bus is definitly much too late and you're confronting the driver with this fact? If you do, then you know what the responses can be. Sometimes it's just shrugging, other times it's explainations like "tomorrow it's going to be the summer holidays anyway". Well, how does that help you when you have to go to work/school TODAY???

7. Losing his way

Despite driving around all day in a circle like a race driver, just much slower, some drivers actually manage to totally drive the wrong way. I've been in situations when it took passengers (!) to inform the bus driver that he was going the wrong way.

Sometimes the vehicle maneuverist is just too inexperienced, other times he is just a little asleep. But there is an even worse and more common way of being asleep.

8. Sleepyhead

When you want a bus door to open, you have to apply some sort of rocket science. First, you have to press the stop button anywhere inside the bus. Then, before the bus comes to a halt, you must press the corresponding "stop / open door" button at the door of your choice. Then, when the bus stopped, you must press that button repeatedly and rapidly until the bus driver opens the door. Yes, this is how I learned it.

There are bus drivers, however, who can't even master simple tasks like opening doors for passengers.

Either they won't even stop at the bus stop because they were daydreaming, or they will stop but not open the door you're trying to use as an exit. Then you have to shout all across the aisle for the driver to notice - in time - that you want to leave.

I have a lot of respect for people in difficult jobs, like surgeons, astronauts and engineers. But being a bus driver can't be so difficult, right? Drive without accidents, stop at the bus stop, open doors, and repeat. But still, it's a task many drivers are not able to handle.

9. Corruptible

This kind of bus driver makes his choices based on the people he meets. He can be an asshole around old an ugly people, and he will be extremely kind towards other people.

Some bus drivers I know even let young female students ride on the bus without a ticket when they say they "forgot" that ticket or some kind of bad shit happened to them, whatever it may be.

But don't think these drivers will do anything for anyone. They need a needy smile from an attractive person in order to give in. The same kind of behaviour applies to situations when

• Someone is late at the bus stop
• Someone wants to enter at a red traffic light (not a bus stop)
• Someone wants to leave the bus though they just entered at the same bus stop (yeah, just go with it)

And other stituations. What it comes down to: the driver will only act like a nice person if the passenger is smoking hot or very sweet.

10. The Entertainer

Some bus drivers were actually born to be entertainers, but their lack of talent and qualification brought them to the public transport scene.

These bus drivers are very relaxed and agree to weird things like young pupils asking the driver to play pop music on the bus.

Most of the time though, the bus driver will make speeches via microphone in which he pathetically says goodbye to everyone leaving the bus (after only a short trip). He will also talk about his life, his career, his company and how they are getting better, or why he had to honk and that he's sorry about that, and how much he wishes you will come back again some day. That kind of stuff. It's a little over the top, but at least it's a nice guy.

11. The Math Genius

It's okay not to be good at certain things, like talking, calculating or other things. I mean, you're just supposed to drive the damn bus and that's it. However, most jobs nowadays ask for a variety of skills, and for bus drivers, basic math is one of them.

The math genius has an interesting way of coping with the lack of skill. He solves the problem by just shoving all the coins you give him into the cash box. Then, when all the coins are inside and indistinguishable from the rest, he will tell you that you've paid him 50 cents less than needed. Well, you have been waiting at the bus stop for 10 minutes, counting coins for so long that you know exactly you had all the money with you. But the math genius is in charge and he will not hit the pedal until you give him more money.

My piece of advice: Count the money for him aloud. Maybe then he'll just go with it next time.

12. The Exotic One

Every bus company has at least one driver who looks different from all the other drivers. In Germany, a black driver is unusual, although he will of course be treated like everyone else. Then again, probably less than 1 per cent of the population is black, so it's strange that the one black person you see happens to be a bus driver, not just a pedestrian you come across by accident.

Even women are exotic in this kind of business. While it's perfectly normal to come across black people or, god forbid, a woman on the streets, seeing a woman behind a steering wheel on a bus is so strange that it's weird. I mean, it's always this "ohh... didn't see this coming" kind of reaction. That's like seeing a car and then saying "oh... a car... wow!". Just weird.

13. The Creepy Friendly Guy

In Germany, whether it's on the bus or in groceries, for example, you're used to very bad service. Everyone is unfriendly most of the time, so when you meet someone who is not just friendly, but extremely friendly, it gets creepy.

Germans are so not used to friendly service people that it freaks them out. Suddenly there is this bus driver who says "good morning" not just in a muffled voice, but very clearly. It makes you wonder whether there might be something sarcastic in the voice, but then you realise he is sincere about it. It's so surprising that you might walk past the driver without giving a response, because your brain was too busy processing all the information.

When a bus driver is this friendly, it's kind of creepy, simply because you're not used to that kind of service standard. And you're even wondering why he is so friendly... did someone force him to be friendly? Isn't it weird that we have to think that way, just because we're used to bad service?

14. The Idiot

Being an asshole is one thing, but being an idiot is yet another thing. The idiotic bus driver is famous for one thing: Driving like an idiot. Not especially fast, not especially slow, but always in a way that makes you call him a bloody idiot.

Idiots drive like this: They accelerate until old people who just entered the bus fall to their (near) deaths. On other occassions, you see that a traffic light has turned from green to red. Five seconds later, the bus driver reacts with a braking maneuver that is so abrupt that your brain wants to escape your skull. It takes a lot of physical strength to actually stay in one piece when such a driver is at the wheel. Especially when you're not sitting but standing!

These guys never learned to drive. It's sad but true. Who ever said you need a real driver's licence in order to drive a bus? Ah... fuck that shit.

Why Terrorism Is Islam's Least Problem

We just entered the year 2015 and already some idiots had to come up with new terrorist attacks.

I don't need to mention what happened in Paris regarding Charlie Hebdo. You already know the story.

What I want to talk about today is more than just terrorism. I want to talk about why islamic terrorism is only the tip of the iceberg for Islam, and why this religion has other problems.

How many Muslims ignore the true problems

First of all, some of the reactions by muslims to the attacks are very telling. One guy on facebook immediately jumped to the conclusion that the terrorists must be members of the Israeli secret service, Mossad, on a mission to make Islam look bad.

This is a conspiracy theory. I'm not saying that all conspiracy theories are made up and have no basis, but when you look at a situation from a distance, in terms of probability, it's not wise to always jump to a convenient theory that eliminates you having to deal with black sheep in your religion.

And this is one of the ways in which Islam has a major problem. This problem deals not with terrorism, but something more general: The inability to deal with conflicts within the religion or with ciriticism from the outside.

What caricatures are for

I am not a big fan of the caricatures that were made against Islam. However, I personally defend the right of the cartoonists to come up with whatever bullshit they want to come up with (even Nazi caricatures against Germans like me, if they like). Freedom of speech in this way is important, not because it allows us to bash other people, but it helps to bring problems to people's conscience who would not be moved or impressed simply by written reports of, let's say, human rights violations. Because such a report can be a boring read!

Most muslims also don't understand what caricatures are for. They think they serve only the purpose to make something look bad. But when you look at the caricatures, you will always have either a hidden meaning, a hidden truth or at least a hidden message. Something debatable.

In this is where serious problems arise.

How religious people justify immoral religious content

See, muslims, like all religious people, including christians, are perfect at reverse engineering. What I mean with this? The art of thinking backwards from a given statement in order to justify it.

For example:

The normal world: If a man who is 54 years old has sex with a 9 year old, you don't question the background. You simply say he is sick and a pedophile and belongs in jail. This is a great example of how our moral senses alert us without us having to think too hard. It's a gut feeling!

In Islam: The prophet Mohammed was 54 years old when he had sex with Aisha, who was 9 years old. This is an accepted fact for muslims. What they now do is that they take this fact, which they cannot change, and reverse engineer themselves out of the moral dilemma BECAUSE anything that the prophet did MUST have been morally right. Here are some explanations they come up with:

• It was normal at the time, everyone did it
• Mohammed only married Aisha because he wanted to protect her
• Aisha was totally okay with it (seriously?)

Now don't get me wrong on one thing: I would even be willing to give the prophet the benefit of the doubt if Aisha had been, let's say, 15 years old. I mean, age limits like 18 years or 21 years are just arbitrary. But a 9 year old? Any of you who has a younger sister or a daughter knows how a 9 year old compares to a man who is more than 50 years old.

If you can't imagine what a 9 year old compared to an adult male looks like, check out the size comparison and the other text in this article.

You can also think the other way around: We know that Mohammed was not in favour of homosexuals. We know that islamic clerics have all kinds of theories and explanations why homosexuality is wrong. But you can bet your ass that muslims would be among the foremost front of throwing gay parties, marching on parades and defending gay rights IF ONLY the prophet Mohammed had said that being gay was okay.

The logic of muslims

The sexual relationship between Mohammed and Aisha is not the only morally difficult situation Islam has to deal with (but doesn't). You have to acknowledge that the Quran was written in a time when things were still different from now: Slavery, even in the bible, was still okay, women were seen as not quite as worthy as men (one male witness is worth as much as - and in case of doubt even more than - two female witnesses), and it was okay to use violence to spread a religion.

As an objective person, and even as a person defending the Islamic history, you could now argue that it may sound horrible today, but then, standards were different. However, this is not what Islam does. It's simply what Christianity does, because Christians decided that many of the things in the bible aren't so good after all and that women deserve the right to vote, to be taken seriously, and to pursue a career, for example.

The problem in Islam is that it has this absolutistic "once right, always right" attitude. Because muslims believe that the Quran was not made up by men, but by a god that is all-knowing, all-powerful and has "written" these texts not in spite of future times, but in FULL knowledge of what the world would look like in 2015.

So whatever has been said about women, about gay people and about everything else still holds true to this day.

A modern conflict: Human rights versus the truth of God

This is where another issue comes in. Many people, from both sides, don't understand how westeners and muslims think different. People in the west have a very individualistic approach: Anyone can be right, anyone can be wrong, there is no way to know the truth, so let everybody go about their own ways.

In Islam, the thinking is very different, especially in countries where Islam is the national religion. Since Islam is so powerful there, people believe they already know the truth, and it's coming from God. So when someone shows homosexual behaviour, it's clear this deserves the death penalty, because God has made the rules clear.

Muslims can't think in abstract terms like "what if the other person is as passionate about their religion as I am about mine?". They never learnt that because of indoctrination, and it goes not only for muslims but also christians, only with the difference that some lucid minds actually established societies where there is room for another opinion besides the one of God.

The problem is that human rights are often perceived to be correct and good, and even many muslims thankfully embrace human rights. However, things often just don't fit so well. The freedom of expression and the right to live without having to fear violence can clash dramatically with Islam.

There are even human rights issues where the violation of a right is borderline present. You can sense that bad things could happen, so the psychological pressure might make a muslim individual NOT do something that they would do if muslims wouldn't be standing behind one's back.

Here are a couple of examples:

• Muslims wanting to leave the religion of Islam but won't because it's better just to pretend to be a muslim (this is one reason why Islam calls itself the fastest growing religion)
• Muslim women wanting to marry a man outside the religion, with the man being "forced" to convert (allwoing violation of freedom of religion in favor of keeping the family peace together)
• Not questioning or openly critizising inner-islamic problems because of fear that they will be called "doubtful" or "against Islam" or "influenced by the devil".

I believe that there are many muslims in this world who can see the moral issues that Islam has in a very modern society. However, they are facing so much resistance that they would rather not speak up, or step in one of the mentioned landmines, in order to avoid harsh consequences, involving even death in some countries (not only islamic countries - honour killings are common in Germany and they ARE often religiously motivated).

Another thing that really hurts our fight against barbaric acts of violence is that the media and many politicians now jump on the "political correctness" train. Terrorism is bad while Islam is perfectly peaceful. That's too easy and too black and white. Islam does have its problems and just excluding terrorism from Islam doesn't make the whole of Islam look astonishingly good and beautiful. Most people don't get fooled. Also, there would be less islamophobic movement going on now if we actually FACED these problems instead of outsourcing terrorism into the world of madness and pretending that everything else about Islam was modern and in accordance with human rights. Islam is not in accordance with human rights!

You disagree with me? Look at this chain of logic:

Muslim girl wants to marry Christian guy. Christian guy does not want to convert. Muslim girl still loves him.

• If Muslim girl marries him, she deserves to die for marrying outside the religion
• If she leaves Islam to rid herself of the rules, she also deserves to die (apostasy)
• If the guy converts against his will only to keep the peace, it's a violation of his freedom of religion
• Advising both persons simply not to get married is not only a cruel suggestion, but a violation against article 16 of the human rights.

Some people will argue that the man, by actually converting, is not acting against his will. However, facing possible fanatism by the parents in law and the possibility they might take things serious enough to kill her, one might rethink that. Also, many men will refrain from "causing" their wives misery as the woman would most certainly lose contact with her family forever and become expulsed from the family.

Alas, many muslims won't bother with this logic simply for the reason that they know God hates interfaith marriages. There can only be one truth, right?

What should muslims do?

One thing they already did, and they did it quite well: Unlike what happened in 9/11 days, there are already muslims who PROTEST against islamic terrorism. This is a humble but powerful beginning. It's good that muslims show their true colours and fight for a society where everyone can live freely.

Another step would be for muslims to actually REFORM Islam. I know it sounds bad at first, because Islam is supposedly right and needs no changes. But I'm not saying you should CHANGE Islam, just look at it and think about how to interpret it. Because there are people in this world who want you to think that there is no interpreting involved. This is wrong. Many of these people are very powerful and afraid that you will take away their power that they derive from so-called "religious authority". Who says they should tell YOU what is right and wrong when only God can do this?

It's up to you what you want to believe. Listen to your inner voice and ask yourself what you PERSONALLY believe in regards to women's rights, violence, freedom of choice in so many ways. Then ask yourself if your God must have really meant what most people think was said in the Quran.

I'm not very hopeful, and that's because people rarely think for themselves and simply defend what they were indoctrinated with. If you're born in Indonesia, you're most likely to be a muslim. If you're born in the USA, you're most likely a christian. If you're born in Israel, you're most likely a jew.

If only THAT people would understand, they might understand that everyone's facing the same situation: they all love what they were taught from their parents. And there is no way for them to tell which religion is right but from what they personally perceive as convincing "evidence".

What The Hell Is He Doing?

I don't consider myself Christian any more but I still take offense when Christians themselves make the religion look unnecessarily stupid.

Like the pope does. Don't get me wrong… I have respect for catholics as humans, although it's difficult for me to respect catholicism as a religion. I mean, catholicism to me is the most visible form of christianity gone wrong. All of this praying to Mary, praying to Saint Somebody and using all kinds of religious "devices" like rosaries and statues and what they may be called… it's the closest it can get to polytheism and paganism the way people in the bible have warned us of.

I mean… catholic practices are so deviant from what's actually written in the bible, it's just amazing. Where in the bible does it actually say that Mary is the MOTHER OF GOD? Literally…Mother of an immortal being that never began to exist but always existed? Blows my mind.

The whole trinity thing is already a very far-fetched idea. Turning Mary and some so-called Saints into pray-worthy individuals makes the whole idea go too crazy and kills off all credibility. After that, christianity as a whole looks completely stupid in the eyes of muslims and other religious people. In a similar fashion that muslims look stupid because of the 9/11 pilots (making a whole religion look bad because of individual beliefs that may not reflect the entirety of the respective religion).

Back to our beloved pope (may peace be upon him…I guess? Oh no, wait. This is not an islamic text so I can cut all the bullshit). For all non-christians, remember that the pope only represents about half of christianity. Protestants don't "believe" in him. And even he is almost pray-worthy. They (catholics) call him a representative of god. Wow. A very bold job description.

Whatever you may think about him… what the hell is he doing in this picture? He is kissing a statue (which equals a pagan idol to me, a clear violation of one of the 10 commandments), but even worse is how he kisses it… This gives the old sterotype of the pedophile catholic cleric a whole new dimension.

Okay, I get it… it's not meant the way it looks. But if other religions made as much fun of christianity as people make fun of them, then christianity would be the laughing stock of the universe.

Again, no offense, but clearly none of that shit is written in the bible. Merry Christmas! Let's celebrate the birth of Santa Clause and the Sun God.

Another End Of Year Post

Here we are again. Another year is over. This time it's 2014.

I'm starting to realize how time passes more quickly the older you get. I heard this from my dad many years ago, and I believe it's true. When I read about people born in the year 2000, I think they're babies, but they're not. They are teenagers right now.

Many years ago, the year 2000 seemed futuristic. Now we're in the year 2014 and 2000 seems like some laughable period of time when cell phones still looked relatively gigantic and the internet was still in its baby shoes.

Back to 2014. What was it like for me? Well, it started of quite bad in terms of work, I was not working because of stress and had to make a recovery in order to get back to work. Then that's what I did and my contract is going to run out in February and I'm going to leave my employer of more than 6 years. Big change.

What I can say about 2014 is that it was not a year full of extreme changes. But the years 2013 and 2015 are going to be such years. In 2013, I got into a new position / job that made me break down. In 2014, I returned to a job I can handle, but 2015 will have lots of uncertainty to deal with.

At the same time, there is still some sense of hope left. If there is one powerful thing in life that I always get to notice, it's the amazing experience of realizing what an entire year includes. Think back to one year ago and consider all the changes... 365 days of change.

I'll give you one example. Not even one year ago, in January, I thought to myself that it would be a good start to earn 10 Euros a month with a blog. That I could go on to earn 100 Euros at an unspecified moment in time, whenever it works. Now, I can look back and say that 300 euros a month with a blog is not a totally uncommon thing (taxes not yet taken into account), and there is more to be done and more to achieve.

What amazes me is the scale of events... how quickly things can change.

At the beginning of 2005 for example, I didn't yet know I was going to meet Marit Larsen in a private situation as if we're just friends hanging out.

I also never believed I would just make several hundred Euros on a lucky day at the stock market as if I'm a professional. Just like that (just to note: I also lost money on other days).

[enter any other year with a special event]

And this is how things sometimes just fall into place. This is why it's important for me to look back on a year that's over and appreciate how things have just changed very rapidly. Not all things, just some.

Of course, I know that sometimes things can go in the wrong direction. But at the same time all I can do is try to be positive and look for chances instead of things to go desperate about. Because if we don't try to look for good things in life, why are we here anyway?

I'm probably more of a Darwinian than ever before, and I believe that the meaning of life can be found in life itself and not somewhere outside, in another life, another world and so on. If we want to be happy, we can try to be happy now. If we're just drawn into depression, then living itself becomes useless because why even bother to stay alive?

See this as a positive message. As long as 51% of a day is good enough to make the other 49% tolerable, then life is worth it. And our eagerness should be to get as much of the 100% of life to feel good.

So, 2014 was a year full of learning, there was definitely a lot of personal development involved, and in other areas of life, not so much changed. Somehow though, I'm actually glad that all the things that went bad didn't turn me into a pessimistic person. The opposite is the case, which is almost a little scary because I don't want to trust it. But then again, I'm good at careful calculations and my idea is that, if only some of the things I hope for work out, then it should be okay. My considerations largely revolve around finances, but that's because I'm very pragmatic. If finances work, life is less complicated and I'm sure I'll find enough things to enjoy. I'm actually one of the people who believe that money -does- make you happy... or in other words, if money isn't the problem, there certainly are enough other things to focus on.

So, next year I need to look for a new job, but it doesn't have to be the biggest, best job ever, and not even well-paid. Just good enough so that I'm okay. And I wouldn't even mind if it is part time because then I can work from home. And if it's not part time, that means that I earn more. So either way there should be something positive, right?

Deserved Death

A couple of days ago, I read an online article about a tragic accident. A woman had taken a wrong turn with her car, drove into the incoming traffic on a highway, and caused the deaths of a man and his daughters.

She, who survived, was sentenced to two years of probation. But that's only half of the story.

The other half of the story is that none of the dead wore any seatbelts, and that experts stated that seatbelts would have saved everyone's lives.

Also, the wife of the dead man and mother to his children was left behind, possibly with other children, we don't know that.

What shocks me about this: The carelessness of a man, and probably bad parenthood, lead to this disaster. I can understand if one person in the car forgets the seatbelt. I mean, it can happen to any parent that they don't check on their children wearing the belts. But all of them at the same time, including the father? That's carelessness.

And thus, he made his wife a widow. And took her children away from her. How fitting.

To be honest, this event calls for a Darwin Award. Think about it:

• Reproduction: He erased himself (and his offspring) from the genetic pool. Check.
• Excellence: Astounding misapplication of judgement. He didn't put the seatbelt on and didn't care about his daughters' lives either. Fantastic misjudgement indeed.
• Self-Selection: Cause of one's own demise... well, this one is debatable. But driving on a highway without a seatbelt qualifies in my opinion.
• Maturity: Definitely the case. He was old enough to know that seatbelts are important.
• Veracity: The event must be true. I guess it is.

So, although he did not cause the accident, it was his actions (or lack thereof), that resulted in the deaths. To me, this is a Darwin Award winner.

I believe it is a fitting punishment for all involved. The woman who drove the wrong way, instead of just stopping her car, got what she deserved. It may sound harsh, but you can't tell me that anyone can be so stupid. To clarify things, she was driving for quite some time, other cars were already honking and making visual signs that she was on the wrong side of the track. Now she has to live with the consequences.

And the man and his daughters? Well, death was the only option. I can't get over the fact that they didn't wear seatbelts. On a German highway, it is normal to drive at a speed of between 90 and 180 kilometers per hour. What exactly is the problem with seatbelts then? Too cool to apply one? Too relaxed to be one of the nerds who use one?

This simply can't be an act of "forgetting" something. This is a systematic wrongful behaviour that resulted in death.

People out there, listen to me: Don't make these stupid mistakes.

A Society Of Sociopaths

Since I like watching documentaries about crime, I sometimes get to learn a couple of things about psychology and behaviour.

Then, when I notice the same patterns in the society I live in, it strikes me that maybe a lot of people are pathological in how they act.

For example: Sociopaths. These people are defined as individuals who lack the sense of empathy and understanding other people's emotions, fail to conform to social norms, lie and deceive, act recklessly, irresponsibly and in an impulsive manner, and show no remorse for their actions (among other symptoms).

Although it's stupid of me to assume I can tell a sociopath from a normal person without being a proper psychologist, there are instances when I just notice how egoistic and careless people are.

• A woman stops her car because of a red traffic light, but the car is standing right in the way of all the pedestrians who want to cross the street. All of these conformists need to walk around the car. What does that woman do? Having a nice conversation and laughing her ass off. No remorse, no empathy, no shame or embarrassment.
• A woman is sitting down on the bench at the bus stop where my lady and me are already sitting, waiting for the bus. She takes a seat right next to us and starts smoking a cigarette. No compassion, no remorse, no attempt to imagine how we might feel about it.
• People on the bus hearing loud music or screaming into their phones, or having irritating ringtones that keep ringing every 2 minutes.

These are only examples. There are many more cases like these.

What I notice again and again are these things:

• I can't recall our society having been that way when I was a child
• From my own upbringing, I would rather be swallowed by a big hole in the ground than to cause other people this kind of discomfort
• I am too adepted to being a good citizen than to speak up for myself, so I keep quiet and rather escape these situations than to confront the people who should adept better to us
• The more I see how this world is changing, the more I feel totally turned off by the idea of putting little babies into this world to suffer the cruelties that exist nowadays.

This world is harsh. The anti-social behaviour is getting worse and worse. Maybe I was brought up in a save environment and that's why I didn't notice these things before. But something DID change. For example, unemployment benefits. When I was young, receiving these benefits was an exception and you had to feel grateful to be saved from being a homeless person.

Nowadays, not only do people take long-term benefits for granted, they heavily insist on their rights and how people in the job agencies should not make demands. The turned around completely, from being grateful receivers to being demanding...bosses? As unemployed people?

This society, the German society, is going into the wrong direction. I never thought I would become one of the people who said we need stricter rules for foreigners, stricter rules for unemployed people and so on... because I was once naive and believed that being too strict will harm those who try to be good people but are just unlucky... unlucky to be war refugees from other countries, unlucky to be poor, unlucky to be unemployed.

But nowadays, these people are the minority. Those who cheat the system, exploit legal loop holes and insist on their rights (which are too many), are the majority. And we, the common people who were raised to be good citizens, have to pay the price... taxes and other social contributions. We carry the load so they can live a luxorious life.

It sickens me. And back to topic: They are sociopaths. No regrets, no remorse, no guilt, no shame, instead lots of lying, not caring about others and feeling good about it.

This has even corrupted me. I no longer care about how I could help our society. As long as -I- am okay, as long as -I- can increase my income, that's all I'm asking for. I have no desire to be a teacher, a helper, a social worker or anything like that. And maybe that's because playing fair holds no rewards. If you want to be on the winning team, you've got to be a cheater.

Smokers Are Weird People...

Perhaps smoking is the most perfect example to show how inconsistent and contradictory human beings are.

Before I elaborate, let me share this experience with you from some days ago...

I was just exiting the main door of my house one morning when a man ran past me at full speed. He wanted to catch the same bus I was going to catch. So he ran towards the bus stop like crazy, knowing it would be a close call. As soon as he arrived, he lit a cigar, smoked for 10 seconds, then the bus came and he threw his almost unused cigar to the ground.

This is the event that inspired me to write about smokers. To this day, smoking has always been a mystery to me. I understand the basic principle: You want to try it because it's something interesting, something only "cool" people do, right? Then, you get addicted, and then you can't stop. Or, as smokers would put it, they "don't want to stop, but I could if I wanted to".

Now... if only smoking was a bad habit, we could end the post right there. But there is more to it than this. It's more than an annoying habit, and even more than an annoying habit connected to a fatal disease.

Here is what makes smokers so inconsistent: Even religious people do it. I have seen muslim women with scarves who smoked. And somehow, this is what I don't get.

You see, it's extremely clear that smoking is wrong. It's unhealthy, causes disease, and I believe that even the quran somewhere states something similar to the bible's "your body is a temple for God" or something like that.

The logic behind wearing a scarf, praying five times a day and STILL smoking cigarettes is: There were no Marlboro, no West and no John Player Special cigarettes back when Jesus, Mohammed and the rest of the gang were around.
So: No Marlboro, no "don't smoke Marlboro". What a nice logic.

I really don't like it when people just switch off their brains like that. I find it especially annoying when you can't have a sensible conversation with a religious person because of something that's "just the way it is" from a religious point of view, yet when I make a point in religious ways (your prophet would forbid it because it's clearly unhealthy), the defense is simply that there is no religious law against this and that.

This is how religious people always have a foolproof (fool proof!) way of going around things. They can just rely on what is clearly stated, never have to question why they do certain things, but never have to ask themselves whether what they are doing might be more sinful than just wearing too many or too few clothes, for instance.

What's even worse is when I see religious people who smoke AND have children with them. Isn't that extremely irresponsible? No... because there can't be a damage to kids when Marlboro doesn't exist in the bible or quran. And there also was no cancer research back then... but who am I to bring up research in connection with religion?

You know... if I was in charge of things, I would ban smoking without exceptions. Not because of intolerance, but for other reasons: I don't like to walk behind smokers who have no courtesy of me. So why would they have a right to complain that I don't show courtesy towards them by banning cigarettes? And secondly, I also pay taxes and health insurance for people who get cancer because of smoking.

One thing many people agree with is this: If nobody ever started smoking in the first place, they wouldn't feel any lack of cigarettes subsequently. It's only WHEN you've started smoking that you become a defender of cigarettes. And that's a fact... time to admit it, smokers.

Why People Who Don't Want Children Are Not Stupid

I recently read a book by Laura S. Scott about being childless by choice (Two is enough). It's a book for people who don't want to become parents or are at least thinking about that option.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / freedigitalphotos.net

This book offered an interesting view on the topic and also cleared up some misconceptions along the way. I could strongly relate to them and this is why I would like to adress them.

#1: Childless couples are selfish

I think this is just a stupid lie that comes from a very twisted logic. People who do have children have to sacrifice a lot of time, money and nerves to raise a child. So when other people choose not to do that, it's called being selfish?

That's like if a person who volunteers in an old people's home for 10 years calls a person who donates 50 bucks to charity selfish.

On the other hand... I actually believe that HAVING children is selfish. Why? Because although you make a lot of sacrifices as a parent, what reasons do you really come up with to become a parent?

I spent a lot of time thinking about this. Not just recently, even as a teenager. I came to the conclusion that there really doesn't seem to be a lot of reasons for having children that are NOT selfish. Let's look at them:

• I need someone to take care of me when I'm older - selfish
• God says we should have children so I'm covering my ass by having children - selfish
• My parents are pressuring me because they want to be grandparents and I'm tired of hearing it - selfish
• All of my friends are having their baby chats and I'm missing out on that - selfish
• I will regret not having children - selfish
• As a woman, what else am I supposed to do? - selfish
• I'm not a real man / woman without a child - selfish
• People would think I'm selfish if I don't have children - selfish
• I want a little copy of me and my partner - selfish
• It's so fulfilling for me! - selfish
• We need children to ensure the survival of our species / culture / national economy - selfish

If your child asked you why it existed, would you answer truthfully? How would your child feel?

There is just one argument I could come up with that would not be selfish, but it implies that you have a lot to offer to the child and also you can't mess up or else your good intentions will be useless:

• I want to offer a child a good life full of happiness and prosperity and possibly pass on my wealth (not just financially, also in terms of taught skills) to another generation to make the best out of it.

Strangely enough, I've never heard that argument from anyone...

Now let's look at childless people. They are portrayed as being selfish because they choose to have a good life without all the responsibility of raising a child. But is childlessness selfish just because of that? Let's take a closer look:

• Childless people take into consideration that they might not be good parents
• Childless people consider that, perhaps, today's world is too dangerous and morally corrupt to raise a child according to one's personal standards
• Childless people know that disabilities and suffering can happen to any child
• Childless people know that, by skipping the parenthood experience, they are missing out on something, yet they accept that.
• Childless people may consider that it's better for the environment to not contribute to overpopulation of the planet

These are just some of the arguments. In my opinion, it's better to be considerate of a child that doesn't exist than to be inconsiderate towards a child that's entering the world and never asked to be born in the first place.

And right there, we already have a dilemma. When you think hard about possible negative consequences of having a child, and then decide to remain childless.... society thinks you didn't save anyone because you are only talking about a fictional human being... but when people become parents, they are creating facts. And if things go wrong, you get a child that commits suicide or gets an overdose on drugs in the worst scenario.

#2 Childless people will regret their decision

This is another almost romanticised belief. People assume that childless people will always regret their childlessness eventually. Just like in a fairy tale, where the evil witch gets killed at the end, the bad people who never wanted children cry on their death beds about having been too bitter to have children.

Here are just two things I would like to say: First - a person who thinks very hard about childlessness knows from the very start that there will be things they can't experience. They know they will miss out on something, even if it's just the whole playground experience, going to Disneyland together or having laughs at the dinner table as a family.

Second thing: Regrets go both ways. Having or not having children are each one way roads. You can't have half a child. You either have children or you don't. And trust me, not having children offers benefits you will dearly miss if you decide to have children. So make up your mind and see which choice you like to live with. But don't assume that people who either don't like children, don't have a maternal instinct or who are simply not comfortable around children will regret not having children... because some people are just not MADE for having children.

#3 Childless by choice people are immature, lazy and hate responsibility

This may be true, but it doesn't have to be. There are, for example, nurses, nuns and teachers who are childless, but they carry a lot of responsibility, even for other people's children.

About being immature... isn't that also a good thing? To live life like a child, without worries, without planning ahead all the time? I wish I was more like a child and less like an adult. But I can only be that way if I'm not a parent.

Lazy? Well, yeah... I like sitting on the sofa and not getting up for a crying brat that just shit into its diapers. No thanks.

#4 Childless people hate children

Even a cynical person like me does not always hate children, although I sometimes do. There are times when I see a smiling baby and it touches my heart. But as soon as the thought comes "maybe being a parent isn't that bad if you are lucky", it only takes 5 minutes and the baby will cry for some reason.

And the main point is also: Childless people usually don't hate children in general, they just hate the idea that it's them who have to take care of their OWN offspring. They don't like that thought. But many people are fine with other people's kids... mostly because they will eventually go back home and leave them in peace.

#5 Childless people don't think much about having children and make it an easy decision

This is totally not true. It's the other way around. Having children is the easier decision because it's set as the default by our society. Having a child is the norm - not having children is abnormal.

I have spent so many years of my life pondering about the question whether to have children or not, and other people around me became mothers like one, two, three... it seems to me that they just took it for granted. They also don't understand my reservation on the topic.

And why is it a difficult decision for me? Well, because I once was a child and a teenager and I know some of these thoughts:

• I was never asked to be born and I would have said no if I had been asked
• I hate my life
• I wish I was dead
• Why was I born into this society / religion / social class?
• Why did my parents want to have a child?
• Why did my parents want a child if they messed up so badly and got divorced?
• Why are all parents stupid enough to assume that divorce and broken families only happen to other people?
• If my parents hadn't had me, they would have been happy and not so stressed until they broke up

See?

And now let me actually fire back. Here are my personal "misconceptions" about people who love to be parents... or are they perhaps no misconceptions at all?

#1 Some parents treat having children as a religion

I'm not talking about parents who have children BECAUSE of their religion. That's a no-brainer anyway. I'm talking about people who are in love with the idea of having children and develop a religious sense of fanatism over it. To the point where they believe that everyone else should share their enthusiasm.

And then the statement "I love children, I must have children" becomes "I love children... everybody must have children". This sickens me and when you take a good look around yourself, where ever you live, you know that this is a reality.

#2 Parents accuse childless people of being selfish because they don't share the same sacrifices and hardships

When you are about to become a parent, you idealize that prospect. You think that it will be a rewarding experience... very, very rewarding. But what you inevitably receive is a mixed bag. You get a good deal of proud moments, but also stressful days and sleepless nights.

Then comes the moment when you see a childless couple, not even in their 20s, maybe even in their 30s or 40s and you think to yourself: How dare they not make the same sacrifices that I made? How can they just go around travelling the world, spending all the extra money they earn on themselves and not make any contribution to your society? That's selfish.

And this is the fatal flaw in the mindset. Don't we live in free countries by now? It's their choice, and believe it or not, you once had that choice, too.

So just because parenthood made you miserable, not everyone around you has to bear the same cross (or whatever it is that non-christans carry around all the time).

Accept that other people became perhaps even happier without children than you became WITH children. If it worked for them, then okay. The question you have to ask yourself is: Are you happy enough or do you have regrets? Because that's your problem after all.

#3 Parents don't think much about consequences

We are living in a world that has divorce rates of sometimes 30 to 50 per cent. Yet, having children is totally normal and the media portray our cultures as people who always want to have children of their own.

It's a sick view of our world.... supposedly, everyone loves to have children one day, but at the same time, it's also supposed to be normal that less and less of these children have a normal childhood without a parental divorce.

And don't ever tell me that a divorce is just an insignificant phase of a child's life that only concerns the partners who get divorced. I hope you know that many children ask themselves the question whether they are to blame for the divorce... and it's only children, so that means a lot.

So I believe that most parents just go with things and hope for the best. I understand that because firstly, they are totally in love, and secondly, it's not like they could ever foresee their possible divorce. On the other hand, would it hurt to just plan ahead a little more? For example, how about both partners have a good education and some work experience before they put "the bun into the oven"?

It's still a choice

Just thinking out loud here.

This is all I had to say... now go ahead, have your children, or don't. You make the choice. But I'll come over to your house and kick your ass if you ever claim you never had a choice to begin with.

White People Can Never Say "Nigga"

When a white person calls a black person "nigga", this is insulting and there is no question about it.

But what happens if the white person isn't trying to offend the black person and simply cites either a black person or references a song with the word "nigga" in it?

The answer came this year at the vienna opera ball in February. Kim Kardashian was a special guest there, invited by a millionaire for a large amount of money.

She met the German comedian Oliver Pocher there. In an interview, Pocher was asked whether he would dance at the ball.

His answer was: Yes, we are just waiting for the song "Niggas in Vienna".

For your information: He was referencing a song by Kanye West, Kardashian's boyfriend (!), who had made a song called "Niggas in Paris".

So clearly, Pocher only made a joke that was basically just the title of a song, just slightly changed to the location they were at: Vienna.

What was Kardashian's response? She and her mum were all grumpy and totally offended. Their first words to each other were: "He said nigga".

Let's recap:

1. Black person makes a song about "niggas in Paris", defining himself as one of these "niggas".
2. Girlfriend of black person (who obviously had no problem with prior statement) goes to Opera ball.
3. White guy references song, only calling it "Niggas in Vienna" instead.
4. Girlfriend is offended beyond belief. No more coolness, no more "me and my niggas" attitude.

Here is my complaint: When you're the girlfriend of a guy who likes to throw around the word "nigga", don't be insulted if other people use that word in satirical (not racist) ways.

I find it the biggest hippocrisy how all these gangstas and their girlfriends define themselves as "niggas" and then feel totally shocked and astonished when they hear the same word from a white person's mouth.

Now, let's fast forward to this year's football world cup. The black singer Rihanna, appearantly a big fan of the German national team, recently wrote about the (white) striker Miroslav Klose:

My nigga Klose.

She's a big fan of Klose. But now let me ask you: Am I even allowed to mention how she called him? Or will that cause black people to say: Damn.... he said "nigga"!!!

And until now, I always thought that only white people are so inhibited.

You Like These Football Players, Right? Then Buy Our Car!

I always find it weird how companies advertise their products either by throwing a familiar face into the TV screen with the person's name under it, or even more pathetic, with the name and description of who the person is (just to make sure everyone understands: this is a famous person, so buy the product!).

Then you read stuff like: Sebastian Vettel (Formula 1 World Champion)

First of all: Those who don't know the person probably won't care what your product is about. It's not like: "Damn! This famous person... so now I have to pay attention, right?"

In the case of the new Hyundai ad, it's kind of weird.

There is an advertisement spot, a TV ad that actually tells a little story about how three famous players ask statues (just go with it), bikers and other people to "get in" their car. So I get the message: It's a call to action and at the same time you see there is a lot of space in the car, presumably for about 20 people.

Okay, but the thing is: I have only seen this ad once and then forgotten about it. The only thing I see every day when I watch TV is the "the world cup is presented by Hyundai" and then the faces of the three players (picture above). That's right: They aren't even showing the ad at all! So much money down the drain.

Then it makes me think: Yeah, so what? There are 3 players. One was not even nominated for the world cup (Kaka), one is already out of the world cup (Casillas) and the other one is yet another brazilian besides Kaka (Oscar). Why did they choose three players who all appeal to the Spanish and South American Community? Why isn't there at least a French, German or English player and perhaps one from Asia or Africa?

It looks kind of lazy to show three famous football players smiling in a car. Of course they are smiling. They are getting paid for sitting in a car for 5 minutes. Hell, maybe they even GET the car for just sitting there with a camera pointing at them. It doesn't give any indication on the car's qualities that famous people are sitting at the steering wheel.

This is something I never understood about cars. I mean: I get it that fashion, perfumes or media products are sold on other people's popularity. It's quick, lazy and profitable for companies. It's lifestyle that's affordable for ordinary people. But a car? I mean, do people actually spend thousands of euros / dollars on something based on a gut feeling? Based on which footballer they like best?

So if you find a bunch of football players (most of whom will suck at the event you're presenting like several years ago), you can just promote your car, even if it's a family car that will probably take some discussion between the family members about financing, price, usefulness etc... well, to hell with a thorough marketing strategy!!!

So... let's pretend I'm the marketing director of a famous german car company. Who's going to promote the new Mercedes Benz?

• This Suarez guy seems promising. He won't bite the hand that feeds him and I heard he is very fair. This totally fits into the image of our company.
• We should also get this Cristiano Ronaldo. He shouldn't cost us too much money. He also stands for true sportsmanship and modesty. You know, just the average guy everyone can identify with. A common man.
• Okay, let's see... world cup 2014... think, goddammit, think.... oh yes, of course.... Maradona! Is he still in the world cup? No? He's fat and old? Argh... I don't care, still hire him. If the guys from Nike and Hyundai use players that aren't actually in the world cup, we can do so too!

As for the TV ad... just show the new Benz in black in front of a white background and these three guys smiling into the camera. The one in the middle should have a football under his foot. Classic! That's it. There's your marketing campaign. What? I'm fired?

The only difference between this little story and reality is that the marketing genius doesn't get fired. He probably gets an Oscar for it. And with that, I don't mean the football player "Oscar".

Making Money Blogging

I've spent the last couple of months blogging and I can now come up with my first personal results regarding the success of this little adventure. I have made 3 blogs, one of which is now more or less defunct but still online to generate a couple of cents a month, another one making 90 per cent of the money and a third one on the way to becoming my first real niche blog (Ginkgo Tabletten - just putting it here so that google will be more likely to crawl it regularly).

The first blog, called how to lose and win, was a blog written in english about weight loss. It was my very first consideration for a blog because nutrition and dieting is a field I am very familiar with. I wrote about 100 articles on that blog.

Only after a while did I realise what my first mistakes were. Not only did I target keywords that were hopelessly out of my range. Even the ones that I had a chance to rank for were still highly competitive compared to the same keywords in my native language, German.

So I realised that I was wasting my time. I could have kept on fighting, trying to rank for a term that has 10000 searches a month and 10 million results, instead of switching to German and competing for the same keyword (just different language) with 1000 searches and maybe 50000 websites going for it.

I dropped this first blog, the english one, pretty much immediately.

I moved on to a new blog, this time a German version of the original english blog I had made, with the exact same design and overall layout, just a different title. It was difficult to start over. Only a fraction of the english posts could more or less be transformed into german posts (I had to rewrite everything). Most of the time, I found myself writing totally new articles.

While it was hard work, I realised pretty soon that I was about to have a lot more success having a german blog. There are many reasons for this. Germans are not "behind the moon", we do have cars, technology, computers. But we are also a little traditional in some ways and not up to date with certain things. For example, most people prefer a savings account with 2% interest rate over the slightest risk of going into the stock market.

And that mentality is carried over into many situations in life. It even goes deep into the German law. For example, we have mandatory health insurance. Usually, this is a good thing, as every employee will automatically be health insured, which is paid for by both the employer's and employee's contributions. But the downside is that if you are not employed (in other words: if nobody is your boss), you have to pay a lot of money to be insured.

This cements the attitude of Germans to always cling to their professions in an employee-employer relationship. It also has to do with the fact that the german education system is different from most of the world. In Germany, you need to learn a profession before you can start anything substantial. Want to work in the office? Must finish a 3 year job training first. Want to become a gardener? 3 years job training. Salesman? 3 years job training. Unless you are a mere factory worker or other "unskilled" jobs, you are going to spend 3 years of your life learning that profession, exams included.

All of this leads to a lifestyle of dependence on big companies. There are, of course, always exceptions, but these are usually people starting real, physical businesses, not online ventures.

Now back to blogging. I noticed that Germany was "behind the schedule" in some way. While the english-speaking market was full of American, English and even Indian people writing tons of articles that were useful and totally optimized to be on the number 1 spot on Google, I had not so much competition in Germany. And always bear in mind that this is how money is being made!

Eventually, I ended up writing another 100 blog posts, all in German. I got increasingly better at this, finding the right keywords to rank for, optimizing in terms of which topics could also generate income, and making the articles look more attractive.

At first, I was sceptical, but now I know that some money can be made. The only problem is that I would have to keep doing this for a long time before I can live like this only blogging and not working as an employee. I'd have to earn 20 times as much as I do now. Although this sounds like a lot, it should be worth mentioning that, right now, my blog is basically earning 5% of what I earn in a 40 hours a week job.

There are, of course, always downsides: I have to pay income tax as if this was a regular job. I have to register my blogging as a business, which will lead to additional costs in the end. There is a lot of bureaucracy involved. And if I decide to make it my only way of living, I have to pay for my own health insurance.

But for some reason this does not discourage me too much. And that is for several reasons:

• I am earning more than I expected I would earn after only 8 months.
• People on the internet were a lot more pessimistic towards "making money blogging" and claimed it's impossible.
• I am earning more money than over 50% of the bloggers do, according to statistics I found on the internet.
• Due to exponential growth and increasing improvements on my blogs, there is a rapid growth in earnings that is difficult to foresee but usually beats my estimations.
• I have only applied what I learned so far. There is still a steep learning curve ahead of me.
• I benefit from english-language experts because I can understand e-books and articles in english, and I can use that knowledge in a market where I am in a superior position compared to english blogs.
• I have only started and I can keep going like this forever if I have to. Right now, it's only 100 useful articles. I might as well write until I have 1000, including new blogs that open the doors for visitors of different niches.
• As a spouse of someone who is employed, I would be health-insured nevertheless. This is not the case right now but it might be, and that would save costs and I'd be on the safe side improving my websites over the course of years.

All of this combined leads me to believe that I might succeed. Right now, it's mostly about time and not even so much about money. Of course, I need to stay employed, which sucks because I would rather spend every day writing extensive articles on the internet. I would rather build empires of blogs now and benefit from them later. Because I realised: As an employee, you only work for the present moment. You give your work power to your employer, you're hired and "rent out" your working power. The results are always given to the employer. You don't benefit in the long run. You have to start over every month, repeat your workload every month, work each month for the current month, and keep repeating these steps. With blogging, it's different. Every blog post, every article adds up, goes on top of a pile of pieces of WORK that keep generating income. Some more, some less, but they STAY to work for you. Every hour of work, if invested well, brings returns in the form of money.

Sounds enthusiastic, doesn't it?

The only things that I found to be very important:

• Always save your work. If your blog host decides to delete your blog, you must move on to elsewhere but KEEP your intellectual property, which is your articles. 
• Don't mess with the terms of service of those advertising or affiliate companies you work with. Don't try to cheat or to beat the system.

To be very honest, I can imagine that this might work out for me. I definitely have the passion. I'm also, with all due modesty, quite a clever guy. I like analyzing things, and I'm ahead of my competition because there isn't that much of it. I can find my niches. And when I look at what American bloggers write, it amazes me because they are happy to have 500000 other websites competing for the same keyword, and that's not even a problem I have!

So now I've started a new niche blog about ginkgo, as I mentioned before. From what I've read, niche sites are interesting because they don't take much work, can go to the top spot of google easily, and if they succeed, you can transform them into authority blogs to give them more credibility. If they fail miserably, you just discard them. Simple.

So I'll see how that goes. If I duplicate my results another 19 times (or if all my blogs double in size, only 9 more to go), I'll be able to quit my job (unless my contract ends anyway, which is possible) and live like that. I also know that I'm quite familiar with the stock market, so I could expect some sort of income there, too, although I admit I don't like stressing myself out. It's a more intense way of earning money, but it includes stuff I like: analyzing.

All of the things that are happening right now sound a little too good to be true. And I suppose paying taxes will eventually bring me back to reality. On the other hand, if it turns out to become my only sources of income (earning money online), I'd have to pay less taxes anyway because I wouldn't have a normal job then. We will see. It's always been a dream for me and it's not just for the convenience of being a lazy stay at home guy. No... there is something else. The prospect of making more money out of what I do. This is what drives me. Not the idea that I'd stop in the very moment that I earn 1000 euros (or any other arbitrary number) a month. I'd like to see how far this can go.

I do admit that what I am earning right now is not THAT much. But I was able to grasp the potential that blogging offers. At least for the lucky people who are smart enough, love to read and read about it all the time and who don't need to blog in english. Because blogging in english is extremely hard to make money with. And of course, time and patience is needed.

If any of you who is reading this (probably nobody) is from a country where english is not the preferred source of getting information online, you might wanna check out if there are possibilities for you. I mean, my vision is that sooner or later all these countries are going to have their niches covered. Some smart companies will emerge that will fill all the blanks, stuff all the holes and answer every long tail question a google user can come up with. Whether it's about ginkgo, dieting, bodybuilding or other stuff. Right now, there is still a chance to succeed.

That spirit that is in the air right now... it's like the early 80s when many people started to realize you can only make a fortune if you invest in stocks like microsoft, IBM and the like. You know, I always wished to find that kind of opportunity where I can sense it's going to be profitable if I only know the secret trends. I feel I've found it with blogging. I mean, the internet is still relatively young, think ahead 50 years how different it's going to be.

End of the story.

PS: I got 10 times more pageviews with my successful blog in those 8 months than in 8 years of blogging in this private blog.

What To Do When Your Blogspot Blog Got Deleted By Google

"Help! My blogger blog was deleted by google"

This is what happened to me some days ago. I was just signing in to my google account to see how my blogs were doing. I have all my blogs on blogspot, also known as blogger, which all belongs to google.

The first thing that seemed strange was that they asked me when logging in what my phone number was, and they said that some "unusual activity" had occured. It was weird but I verified with my phone that I was not a robot.

Then, suddenly, without any warning, I noticed that one of my blogs was totally missing from the dashboard. At first, I thought that the "unusual activity" must have been that my account had been hijacked by some hacker in another country and that someone must have had his fun removing my blog.

Only a couple of heart attack seconds later, I realised that my blog was under the "deleted blogs". I was still convinced it was a hacker's fault. But then I checked my gmail account (the second thing I do after checking my blogger account) and found an email.

The email informed me that my blog had been deleted by the blogger team (or google) because of a spam suspicion. The automated system had found my blog to be spammy and therefore totally deleted it over night.

I was shocked. I knew that you could be banned from the google search engine if your blog was spammy, or that you could be thrown out of adsense. But I never even imagined they would delete my blog.

At this point in time, my situation was as follows:

• I had written almost 100 posts that I now no longer could access
• My blog seemed to have been lost forever
• I had worked hours and hours over more than half a year to write all these unique posts
• I felt totally innocent (trying hard to make a good website for my visitors) although I knew that humans make mistakes, and maybe a sloppy little mistake with affiliate links could have cost me months of work.

I spent the next hours trying to do two things: Finding out how to reverse the process of my blog being deleted, and trying to recover my blog posts.

Recovering the blog posts proved to be difficult. I had never exported my blog onto my computer (big mistake) so none of my posts were available offline. I didn't even remember all my 94 posts that I  had written. Also, my blog was deleted, therefore offline, and I could not even access my blog in the dashboard.

The first thing I did was to check my blogger profile again for posts that I had subscribed for (I had subscribed to my own feed, meaning I could see posts that had been put online by myself). Then, I had to open each link to each article, notice that each of my posts is offline, copy the url into the google search engine, right-click the corresponding result (luckily the result still displayed each time), open in cache, save the content of those pages offline (the safest way is to copy everything into a word file), and do this over and over again with every article that matters to you (if you can remember what they were called or you know the exact urls).

Regarding the deletion of my blog: I sent an appeal to google. It's the only thing you can do. You are then supposed to wait for up to 48 hours for something to happen. Only THEN are you allowed to / supposed to consult the google help forums.

So I sent an appeal. It's basically only an electronic message where you confirm with a captcha phrase that you are a real person. No need to justify yourself or write any text.

Luckily, on an early Monday morning, less than 24 hours after it had been deleted, my blog was put back to life and I received an apology by email. My blog had wrongfully been detected as spam, but a human being checked out my website to come to the conclusion that my blog is, in fact, okay and not meant to be spammy.

As far as I can tell, the only negative side effects on my blog's performance were that it cost me a whole day of people visiting (I got over 100 page views instead of possibly a thousand) and my income on adsense and amazon was brought to a halt (consider that it was a Sunday and people like to go shopping on amazon on Sundays).

When my blog was undeleted, it performed well again.

Here is what I advise people to do:

First of all, your situation should be like this:

• You have a blogspot / blogger account where your blog was
• Your blog was deleted by the blogger team / google, not by you accidentally
• The reason for your blog being deleted has been explained to you in an email
• You feel innocent because you had no bad intentions and didn't violate any terms of service (TOS) on purpose

In this case, my advice to you is: Send the appeal so that someone can look over the problem. Don't go too crazy over the fact that your blog has disappeared. Also don't send the appeal twice, and don't start a topic on google forums yet. You can try to recover your articles so that at least your material as a writer can be saved. Because, if the blog stays deleted, it helps to at least have your written articles somewhere in an MS word file. Then you could publish them again on a different blog (wordpress with paid hosting for example). I know, this would suck because you would have to start over in search engine rankings, but believe me, at least your work would be online again.

Apart from that, remember that you might be lucky and your blog will be restored. Don't think too far ahead if you haven't even received news from google / blogger team.

Why your blog may have gotten deleted

Here is the supposed reason why my blog was deleted, and this could have happened to you:

In my case, I never had bad intentions, but I did use the amazon affiliate program. This meant that I had links on my articles that led to amazon. Google recognizes these links, and if you put a whole bunch of them into one article, google will think you are a spammer.

In most websites that are not blogspot, this will only lead to a search engine penalty (your website will go from first in the search results to 200th position). But in blogspot, this can lead to the deletion of your blog!

HOWEVER: I didn't put a crazy amount of links into one article. But you know what my mistake was? While I only used between one and three amazon links in each article, I did not use a "jump break" in every article. The jump break is the little tool you can use (looks like a torn piece of paper) in your blog post instruments. When you are writing a post, you can see it: It's 9 items away to the right when you look at the "bold" button (the one that looks like this: B)

The purpose of the jump break is to shorten your articles as they appear on the home page of your blog. Then it says "read more" instead of showing the whole article.

As I hadn't used this enough, there were several articles on the "home" section of my blog, some of them were full-length articles including one or two or even three amazon links. And now consider several articles containing amazon links!

In total, I had 5 amazon links on my "home" page displayed, together with 3 standard google adsense ads. Now you can imagine: 8 ad scripts on a single page... that looks a lot like spam!

Be sure that your articles are cut short and no affiliate links are displayed in the shortened version of an article. And don't use 5 affiliate links on a single article that also has adsense ads on it. This might backfire heavily!

So this is what happened when google deleted my blogger blog. When your blogspot blog got deleted by the blogger team, now you know what you have to do. If it still seems like your blog will be deleted for all times, use the cache trick (right clicking on search results for your article urls in google) to try and save your content in a word file. Good luck.

By the way: I think it's really unfair the google deletes those blogs. Even if they were spammy, at least give a warning first. Apart from that: What about the intellectual property of the innocent ones who write articles worth hours of work? At least you should "give back" the contents to the bloggers if they request their content back.

Also, being informed by email that "your blog has been deleted" is a big shocker. My insides were turning when I read it. I strongly believe that customer service in google and facebook have a lot of improvements ahead of them if they want to be customer-friendly.

The Incredible Downfall Of A Video Game Series

I am talking about the FIFA Manager series. This is a video game by EA Sports. Back in the old days, in 1996 and 1997, I used to play Fifa Soccer Manager, one of the best manager games ever (read about it in my Video Games: Most Played article).

From there on, things went wrong. I still bought these games on a regular basis. A version I had around the year 2001 crashed very often and I barely played it. I thought back then that it was my computer's fault: That my computer couldn't handle it.

Later, I got the 2004 version. The game, the way I remember it, was pretty good and brought me a lot of fun for several years. There were youth players you could get from youth camps all over the world, you could even give your players direct orders (shoot, pass, etc.), which is unusual for a manager game.

But even in THAT game, I had terrible things to go through. After unsuccessfully playing the 2007 version, I decided to go back to 2004. I played the game and what happened? It crashed at a specific date in the game. Even after reloading an older safe data of the game, it again crashed on a specific date. This meant that several seasons of playing had gone down the drain... you know what I did? I broke the CD into pieces so that I would never feel tempted to play the game again.

I still feel "hurt" for breaking my own copy of the game, because I liked it. But on the other hand, breaking it prevented me from the feeling of disappointment after putting so many hours of my life into a game that just crashed anytime it wanted to.

But there is one thing that still bugged me for years:

Even years after I bought my last version of the game, the heavily bugged 2007 version, I still read reviews on Amazon where only few people complained. But they complained about bugs that had never been fixed, bugs that had even been carried over to newer versions, because each year's version of the game uses the same game code, and essentially, the same game with only a couple of updates (worth the price of a full new game!).

You know what I hated? The fact that the reviews, in total, were favourable of the game. Enough people got fooled. Year after year... but you know what? Something has changed about it. I checked the German Amazon page and compiled a list on how the games did in the past years, from 2007 up to 2014. And now just look for the average rating each game got. You will be surprised:

As you can see, in 2007 and 2008, the game had nearly 4 stars average, which reads to frequent Amazon customers as "there are a few grumblers, but the game is awesome". This is what I hated because I felt that people were deceived each year. But then, things have changed finally.

Now, in 2014, of the 235 reviews, a wopping 188 are 1 star reviews! That's an exact 80,00 % reviews of the very lowest rating! Bottom of the barrell.

Finally, people have caught up with the fraud that is Fifa Manager. For years, many of them have bought the game year after year like idiots, and well, that's how they financed the fraud. I mean, each year, I read people's reviews and they were like "I have been buying this game since the early 2000s and I'm not gonna buy it again". But then, what's the meaning of that when the next year, a hundred people are saying the exact same thing, and the year after? They're all a bunch of stupid idiots!

Keep buying that shit and you end up unhappy every freaking year.

You know when I'm gonna buy that kind of game again? When it has exactly ZERO negative reviews. I don't want to hear about bugs, about bug fixes, about how everything is going to be improved "in the next patch". No. Hell, I'd even go back to playing Fifa Soccer Manager from 1996 and play it with an updated database by fans, if there is any.

EA Sports made millions recycling a game and slapping the current year as a label on the package. Idiots buy shit because it says "2014". They say:"Huhuh... this is so 2014, I'm gonna buy it... huhuhh".

Goodbye, EA Sports. Burn in hell.