Thursday, May 15, 2008

Human behaviour

In the last two or three days, it happened several times...

The bus has been at the bus stop for several minutes and is getting ready to leave the place. Suddenly a girl or woman jumps up and screams:"Sorry? Can you open the door? Can I get out?"

Looks like female impulsive behaviour. The female subject has noticed has noticed a fellow female and now has decided from one second to the next that it has to leave the bus immediately, though there has been enough time to get off the bus during the normal stoppage time.

So what's typical for male individuals? Maybe this: Two guys are on the bus talking like they are the only ones, suddenly one of them screams:"HELLLOOOOOO!!! We wanted to get off!" The bus driver screams back:"Also HELLO!" and stops the bus immediately to let them out. Either the bus driver was in a coma vigil and didn't notice he should have let them out or the guys were so busy talking that they didn't hit the push button. In any case, it means unnecessary stress to the conspecifics.

I think there is no better way of demonstrating and analysing the human nature than the everyday life events on a bus. Being on the bus is like being in the jungle. This is the real place. You can't be closer to the real action. You see all the behaviour, matching, fights, conversations, body language.

It's always great to see what's special about females and males. Of course, I can't go around the fact that guys sit like they are giving birth. That's just true and I don't know why it happens this way. Maybe they sit in an unhealthy position when they are somewhere else so they squeeze their testicles, so they need to give them extra space on the bus. But I don't think so, it's just a very strange kind of sitting position. I wish I knew why they have to sit this way, I know it's comfortable but there are only few girls who sit like this. It's just like a guy seeing another guy and then wanting to get off the bus all of a sudden. It just doesn't happen!

Or going to the toilet in public places. Would you ever expect a guy to say:"Do you want me to come with you" when another one says he needs to go to the toilet? That would be more than awkward. But it's normal with girls.

Then there are also the psychological differences. Girls permanently consider themselves more ugly than they are in the eyes of the guys. They also constantly eat less than they should. I'm not sure what's the counterpart on the male side. Maybe the fact that they misinterpret everything. Guys see sexual messages in almost every kind of body language. Every look from a girl can mean a lot, and girls who just want to be friendly are mistaken as totally interested. This is based on the problem that guys are the ones who, as society wants it, are supposed to make the first move. If a guy can only guess and guess and guess, it's hard to say if he has chances, he can not expect a girl to go ahead and say that she is interested. At least that's the biological rule, it seems. And girls, they are programmed to only be looked at and being romanced, so they are in this passive situation where they need to look good, and good is never good enough. Hence the feeling of ugliness.

So many things would be better if people overcame their biology. Girls would have to become less dramatic, more sensible, logical, responsible, practical. Guys would have to open up and show feelings, not always play the hard ones, allow themselves to cry, and also not have this you-don't-understand-me-anyway-and-it-feels-good-this-way attitude.

I don't think we will get there so soon. This society is not ready anyway. It's still normal for a woman to have a part-time job all her life because she can "hide" behind her status as a mother. A guy will be laughed at for asking for such a thing. Guys need to be real men, they need to defend the family like wild lions, as if there is a need to display manhood. Man, they need to be so tough, if it gets even tougher they turn to stone.

There is also this tendency to go back to the roots. There is one author, a woman who made career in the showbusiness as a newswoman on tv, who promotes the "eve-principle". That means, going back to being a real woman, in the kitchen, with children. I have no problem with women being women and men being men. It's very rare that men get pregnant, so there's always a point where men will be men and women will be women. But you don't have to overdo it.

Okay, now the quote of the day for each of them:

Men: *Rooaaaar* Be a man, man!
Women: Discover the goddess in you.

No, don't ask me what it means. This is the only bullshit I remember from tv advertisements.

1 comment:

Ira Roslan said...

Just thought I should leave an opinion here. Men and women are programmed to be the way they are when they were created, we're really not too different but no doubt there is always going to be a the huge difference.

Neither one is above the other because if it wasn't for men, women can never bear children. And if it wasn't for women, children (male included) can never be born hence a man's biological purpose would be useless. But then again it's 'just biological'.
We have here more attitude problems than biological.

Biologically it explains why guys see sexual messages a lot because this is their nature. No going against that.
And it's also why women prefer men who can provide. Not men who run and hide.
Men are attracted to women who are like goddesses (and can give them beautiful/healthy children) and women are attracted to men who display their masculinity (not childishness or immaturity).

Unless we are in a genderless world where 'reproduction' is something that doesn't exist, this is the kind of issues we will usually face. Like I said, as long as men and women have each other we'll never run out of problems. We always want to look each other in the eye and say "I am better than you. You should be more like me."

I don't think there's such a thing as 'being a real man' or 'being a real woman', because you can't be more or less than what you already are. Just follow through because chances are you won't go wrong.
And there's also no such thing as one is better or more sane than the other because for every quality there is a flaw.

I'm not sure if it's possible to get over something that's biological.
If women were to come up to par with men, then we wouldn't need men because we can do everything ourselves. And if men were to get to the same level as women and be masculine and feminine at the same time, then women wouldn't have been a child of the universe either in the first place.

We know that a man's responsibility is hard - to be the breadwinner of the family. But do men really think that a woman's responsibilities are any easier?
No, it's just as tough. Add to that the kind of prejudice we get from society and religion. What good is there to be portrayed as the weaker sex? To be made fun of for fun? I don't believe in such things. That is what has to change in society. We can't be feeding a man's ego all the time because for women there is such a thing as pride and reputation too. It's called dignity.

I think men and women can get over our own attitude towards each another. Not try to want to be like each other, because it's kind of not possible. It's about being a man if you're a man, and being a woman if you're a woman.
The difference between them is only by one Y chromosome. Yet it makes this big of an impact as to how each gender deals with many things, like pain, or hormones, just to name a few. Despite having this permanent difference, it's never been a foundation for any superiority/inferiority relationship between the two.

So a simple understanding would probably go a long away. It's not about who's better, I would lose respect for anyone who puts emphasis on that. But in this world we are constantly wanting (or hoping, rather) that one be like the other. It's a shame but I think it is unlikely to ever change.

But yeah, it's too irresistable an issue not to have addressed.

"If you ever get close to a human
and human behaviour
Be ready to get confused
There's definitely no logic
to human behaviour
But yet so irresistible"
- Björk