Holidays? No,thanks.

Only 11 days of work left. 11 times I have to go to my work place,unless i get sick again.
My main problem today: Too much time to kill. If I had holidays now,i would go crazy. Two days of staying at home due to sickness already shows me how fatal it can be.

I talked to some nice people on msn. And it was good that i did that. But after a while it gets too much,and you get sleepy in an unnatural way. And playing video games has the same effect,as well as watching tv.

It doesn't help to do too much of computering and tv. It seems as if you were killing time,but the time that seemingly gets killed will want you to spend it at the end of the day- when you are supposed to fall into dreams! But you can't sleep.

I'm thinking about this whole thing again...how i could USE my time instead of waste it. At some point i even got the crazy thought "I have to cook every day". Is this the beginning of a serious illness?

Music doesn't work any more. I can't tell myself that i'm bored enough to sit down at the keyboard. It's the least thing i would do,and so i did today. But then my cat wanted to be hugged,so it was over soon. I even feel a little bad about making music,coz i'm afraid it might depress me.

And strangely i don't get inspired either. It's strange because....I've felt very good in the last days. Okay,i had to go to the doctor coz i had a problem with the stomach,but from my feelings,I was really feeling good. And this phase of feeling good doesn't have to be over yet.

When the holidays start,I will go to my grampa's,where I will also see my dad and his wife. It's a change. And that's better,much better than staying at home. Boredom is dangerous for my mood. I need to be busy...as a lover,as a worker,as a cook (or as a musician).
Does anyone have advice for me? I need some activities. This is what it should be like:

-creative (like cooking or writing music)
-doesn't cost much effort (like sports or other annoying things)
-nothing social (no,i don't want to meet ppl)

I welcome advice. But if i don't want to do what you suggest,don't take it personal. I'm complicated. But it's nice if you want to help,so i appreciate it. Haha. Thanks.
If there weren't some certain people in my life,and work,and my cat...then it would be helpless.
And now i'm chatting again :)