2006: Life at the crossroads

Another year has come to an end.

To sum up what happened to me in 2006 is a little difficult and it's not easy to say if it was good, bad, or so-so.
There were some months that were some of the worst, maybe not the very worst like the ones in 1999, but they were close to it. Interestingly, those were mainly february and december for me, two months that are very far away from each other on the calendar (if you look at 2006 only). In both of them the reason why life was so hard were relationship problems. But they were everything but ordinary, which makes it problematic to analyze. What I just learned, I guess, is that there are not only religious problems, they can also be connected with cultural differences and lots of misunderstandings when it comes to the mentality of people. It's never the fault of one person, it is just a fact that we need to consider carefully and try to find our way around it if we can.

Even though there were very bad things in 2006 that were worse than bad events in other, more average years, there were still experiences that made 2006 a special year, and even though I'm a little hesitant saying that 2006 was the best year ever, I can at least say that it had the best summer I ever had. The climax of this were the months july and august. They will go into my personal history book as the most amazing event ever. I must thank the person who is responsible for this (and God) that it happened. In a world of uncertainties, the only thing I can really do is be thankful for that. At least that I can say, that it was the best thing that happened to me and that I'm glad I had the chance to feel this. I've been wanting to have this all my life, and every time, on the last day of a year, I said to myself: "Not this year but maybe next year". That chain is stopped, and even though I'm not sure when or if it will ever be so good again, I appreciate that I was given this chance and I hope it showed that it made me happy. And hope that it made someone else happy too.

Now I am at the crossroads. There are different ways to go, there are new learning experiences to apply for next year, there are new plans to make while some plans might or might not be fulfilled. What I need to do is to act wisely and see what I've learned. My lesson this year was that life takes you to the limits when it really starts. And I must acknowledge that some things would not have happened if I had given up at the beginning of the year. I could have said that it's impossible... I didn't and I suppose it was right. This world changes so much and I think it would be wrong to hurry and look for safe solutions just because something looks risky for a moment. And 2006 was full of misunderstandings based on that specific kind of fear or panic.

I am a stubborn little kid. My age hides my weaknesses, but it can't stop them from making life hard. I will need to sacrifice those luxorious character traits because you only get something good when you do your best and throw everything over board that makes you think "It would be easier if... it would be safer if...". I will have to grow up too. I will even have to give up things that I liked about me so far, for example my sense of justice. This world is unfair and if I demand the whole world to change just because I don't want it to be so unfair, I won't get the things I want in life. I cannot change everything, all I need to ask for is that the people I care for understand that it's not fair, that they don't let themselves be terrorized by this, that they at least show me that they are angry too... and then we can see if we can escape from this. Do you know what I mean?

I have this superstition that the odd-numbered years are the ones that are most memorable for either the pain or the pleasure they bring. 2006 was not odd-numbered but it was one of those years. Now I wonder what 2007 will be like. When I look at what's just been happening, I feel a little scared. Perhaps it will be a year of hard work, without success being visible so soon. All I can do is fight now. Maybe it will be a year that's less dramatic, or even not special at all. We will see. I just need to calm down from 2006 because it changed life in a way that it will never be the same for me.

So what's my final judgement? It's hard to say really. To make the best of it I shall always the cherish the good times I had and learn from the bad times, and not make myself believe that I won't be angry again or anything stupid like that. Of course I will be angry too and it will be difficult, but at least I have the advantage that I can take my time for many things. I want to let the year end peacefully here. Goodbye 2006, you will not be forgotten.