It's the middle of march already. Strange how fast everything goes. Yesterday was october....always remember october...
I'm in this strange situation where everything seems to work. The warning signs always go up when that happens. Like the silence before the storm. But I have faith in the things that happen right now. At the moment I book my journey for this summer,and everything looks good so far. I don't want to suspect anything bad,the people at the travel agency know what they're doing and i know what i want. The last months showed that from one day to the next,a lot of information can fall down on someone. It changes a lot of things. Somehow I just want to get everything ready for now and then i can't make a move back. There is some kind of risk,but i wouldn't call it risk. It's more like half a commitment,half a sacrifice. A chance to make something work,with money,time,investing feelings and lots of other things. If I get it all back the way i wish it would,then it's worth it. And i think that it can happen...it's not too much asked and i'm not naive. But of course i do expect something and I'm never quite sure if expecting something from someone else is always right. Life taught me to not leave things to other people,or at least to keep feelings or expectations low until i know i can dive into it with all the trust and faith needed. In this case, it's already too late to hold anything back. Can I ask for this to work or would it be foolish? Was I good enough or will I be punished for bad things i did? Can I just close my eyes and run into this no matter how i feel about it and just wish and pray it will go well? Not sure what the right attitude is,but it's like it doesn't make a difference whether i go about it and say "it's already clear,i'm the king of the world and i will get it all" or if i say "i'm so doubtful i don't know what will happen". Whatever i do,i know that i'm depending on this in the same way. This venture will change my life. To those of you who don't know what I'm talking about,you will know about it this summer... and it will leave its traces in my life forever.
Sounds like a good way to end this entry. But i need to add some things. I'm working on another blog project and i'll mention it soon. The other thing is,I highly recommend Marit's new album. Marit Larsen- Under the surface. So far only available in norway or online via credit card,but she's a great musician and if you don't agree then...then you just don't know her well enough. Haha.
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